Ashley
I think it was belief, the hardest thing of all to do which is why she could keep trying for three weeks. Which is why we need success storeys. Like with core beliefs, you can have perception, whether you get it from yourself, a friend, like I was for her or a therapist and you can have the right attitude. You know, the will to want to change but in the end what gets most of us is belief. It is so hard to believe when everything is against it. I think we lose more people to this than anything. I've tried to show people that I'm just as ordinary as them and it was just as hard for me and that the only reason I made it is that I believed I could. I had faith that I could. And I had someone who believed I could and kept pushing me.
She writes me to tell me of her successes and failures. The one failure is such that anyone would have failed. The big thing is that because she believes it was okay that it had no effect on her future. No set back. It was a very scary event but she seems to have done the logical thing, Believe it was only an event. No need to give it control.
You can understand why "want to" works but till you see it work a few times you have no reason to believe and if you don't believe it how can it work. All it takes is a few successes and you soon "want to" for the freedom it gives you. Even if it still hurts a bit, it is worth it. "want to" gives you success, accomplishment and freedom. Sometimes though you need an "uncle" you can believe in too, some one you can believe in so you have a reason to keep trying. Some one who made it and has faith in you.
How do you believe things your mind tells you not to. That strong core beliefs tell you not to. You have to see it work for yourself and more than once. It is so much easier to not believe than to believe. Better the devil you know.
So you tell me, how do we get people to believe. By example is the only way I know. Take them by the hand and show them.
Davit
