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10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

loves trees

When I see things like Youtube the first thing I notice is there is a lot more babble than information. And it is like a magnet where they keep feeding you things to watch and throwing in unrelated things so you can switch before you get bored till you can't remember why you were there in the first place. Since it isn't monitored you can put anything on there and it doesn't have to be accurate.

Computers are supposed to speed things for us and done right they do. But people surf for hours and it just gets more confusing where here the information is in one package and there is no need to do a dozen comparisons. Very foreign to most people that can't wrap their mind around using only one site even if it is proven. Some probably even think it takes choice from them. And then we have forums where you can discuss anything and they probably don't understand the concept of it because it doesn't relate to chat rooms. Another place to spend a lot of time too easily.

I was against face book for the very reason that I don't want what we do diluted to the point it is not effective anymore. I seriously want to attract people who need help, not just more people. Better to be just a few helping each other than a lot just talking to make noise.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Red,

Fences and their online equivalent - "rules" - make good neighbours. It would only take a moment for me to personally review the guidelines, so I can be a better community member, so I think it's worth the effort.

Davit,

There is a health care crisis in north America, unless you've opted out of the system, so docs seem so stressed to me, which is ironic, if you suffer from this site's illnesses. I think the moderators do okay.

Loves Trees,

I see that trend of the world sped up, it triggers my panic cycle, so I've tried to take Tai Chi most recently, and join the slow food movement(indirectly since I'm slowed by cooking). Maybe I'll return to writing letters too, since it will make me unwind, and isn't it so personal when someone writes a card rather than an email? Davit has inspired me to connect with nature through gardening, and it's helped me unwind.

After I looked at the guidelines, I'd like to be less self-absorbed, but I think it's in my character and not helpful to friendships. I've tried using open-ended questions, and I used to take it personally when no-one answered, but I believe people are reading them from the views.

If a post is read, having been frightened in the past, it could be a while that someone responds, and it took me so long, that I always look at their start date, and am surprised at how challenged I was. Everyone has their "emotional timetable", says my Tai Chi instructor patiently.

I think I tend to lecture, since I value my "babble", and it's great to find a community which allows me to be irrational, yet accept me. Recently I walked by a patio where a couple were talking nonsense, and i'd like that too!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

Davit,

Your description about how some people probably see this as a bunch of babble going no where sounds on point to me...we live in a soundbyte, quick fix world and the thing is that a lot of people just don't want to take time to work with ideas, learnings, lessons etc..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Red

I can understand rules like not talking about medication even though we have personal experience because it is our experience and they might react differently. They might need it too and it is not our place to discourage them or make them feel bad. But I find though that although some Doctors can explain the pros and cons very few do. It is like we are too stupid to understand.

Of the seven GP Doctors I know in this area only one has read the CBT manual and I have no idea if he understands it. Or if he consults with the therapists before prescribing meds. All the side effects are on the internet so the information is available, just scary to some. You need to take into consideration a lot of factors when reading them. Be informed when dealing with meds.

We are not allowed to tell people they will get better even though that is why they are here. I've done that a few times. But it is conditional. They have to do the work.

The rule about not selling or recommending a product I agree with. Stating you use a product and it works for you is not the same.

It is though, up to the moderators to decide if we are breaking rules.

So I would say, be honest and keep it your opinion and state it is your opinion and you can still get across something you think is important. I'll take my chances if I know for a fact something works. But I have to have experience first or it has to come from a very reliable source, usually my Therapist. A known professional not just someone flogging a book for sale.

There is no rule against congratulating people.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2508

Hugs and Davit.

This is my take on it..

I don't think the guidelines are critical and I have looked in the mirror many times. I think we try to follow them but sometimes that is not possible or the best thing for the situation. They do take away for the spontaneity of the moment and it is hard to be open and honest if one is to rigid..

Red..

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hugs

The third group are those people that just surf because they do. Maybe we are interesting.

Hmmmm. I'm not good at following rules which is why some of my posts get deleted. I've probably broke a few rules, not intensionally but just the same.

I found it far easier to learn to dance if I didn't pay attention to what was happening around me. I bumped into a few people but so what. I used to do a form of Tai Chi balanced on a stump at work. Not often because there wasn't time.

Davit.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4027

Davit,

You gave great start to engagement theory, and I personally relate to the first reason for not posting, since I was fearful for a long time. The second reason is similar, because it may be a fear of being rejected. I don't understand the 3rd reason, and the 4th reason is obvious everytime we look at the people logged on, but don't see posts, since they could be working on the programme.

In order to grow the community, I think the guidelines need to be followed, because they're critical, aren't they?

I'd like to challenge everyone with a small exercise. Using the guidelines for posting, see if you're following them for the last 5 posts you've made? 5 posts aren't much to look at. If anyone doesn't want to diverge from the thread of theory about community-building, anyone can start a thread about evaluating ourselves. I consider myself open-minded.

It is a challenge since there's so many guidelines, and we're human after all. It might be an eye-opener. I'm going to sleep on this, since I'm bushed, not having slept well yesterday, and running on empty all day. I feel I'm repeating all the failures in my life in my Tai Chi class, where I can't co--ordinate my hands and feet, like the dance classes which never panned out(I knew the steps, but was afraid of the social situation). My head will be clearer tomorrow, and I hope others who have been posting look at the "woman in the mirror"

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Hi Ashley

If we have all the elements of a community and the information to beat this disorder we suffer from and since we have proved community does work then there are just four reasons why people are not joining. One which we have accepted is fear, a common problem with this disorder. I refuse to call it as disease since it isn't, even though for the amount of damage it does it might as well be one. The second one is that they don't think they belong or that they qualify. The third which I'm sure is here also is curiosity. A certain percentage are just browsing and have no intention of participating. This is okay, they can participate out of curiosity. They may at some time know or come across some one they can help or they can direct here.The fourth group which I would like to meet for their input is people silently doing the program on their own. There is a fifth group which I won't mention because they fall under a different category and we can not help them. A few have passed through since I have been here. None stay. And of course there are those mistakenly diagnosed who think they fit this last category. Those mistaken ones I would like to see come to our community till they can prove irrevocably that they can't be helped. This is a very small percentage in truth considering misdiagnosis is common. I was so I know it happens.

I know too, that to many this probably appears to be just a bunch of babble going nowhere. But it is because they don't understand the process. They don't understand the value of what looks like babble.

I will take the time to explain to them if they want why it is important. And it is important.

So other than that all we can do is keep inviting them.

Davit

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11212

Hi Loves Trees,

Thank you for your thoughtful post. To me, a community is a group of people who have something in common (common values, purpose, environment, etc.) A positive community in my opinion is a group of people that support eachother in reaching their individual goals.

I have learned about the 1986, McMallin and Chavas study which discussed that there were four elements to a sense of community. These elements are: membership, influence, integration and fulfillment of needs, and shared emotional connection. I think we have all of those elements! I wonder if there is a way to help browsing members experience these elements in our group? Perhaps, similar to what Naa mentioned, some members may feel they may not be able to have enough information about anxiety to offer influence... hmmmm I wonder if there are some discussion topics we could come up with that might build the new users confidence in sharing influence?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

I believe deeply in the importance of community. I think community is fundamental to a healthy society and to healthy people. To me, it seems obvious. So this question caught my eye in a big way.

That said, the idea of growing a community online poses some real challenges, ones that Davit mentioned in an Oct. 2 post here that I agree with are problems for this sort of site and this type of support group.

When I was first learning CBT, the responses to my forum posts from Davit and others made all the difference. Reading a book or website on CBT is not the same thing as discussing your personal experiences, thoughts, ideas, with others. They are both needed in order to do the changes, in order to self-help. I value this website forum a lot.

I don't have any great ideas about how to further grow the community here although I do want to belong to the community here. I think that forum posts and all electronic communication suffers from drawbacks in that people who can express themselves accurately and efficiently with words and text are going to find this forum easier.

The common denominator to texts, tweets, posts, and emails are that they lack the facial expression, tone, volume, inflection and body language that goes with face to face communication. That is a problem here because one can post "I had that happen too." and it can be taken the wrong way because you can say that with a concerned voice or mocking voice and we have to trust that we are using a concerned voice, and we have to forgive any misused wording or phrasing that comes across as say, sarcastic when it was meant to be sincere.

further to my previous paragraph, is the fact that we are seeing people who ended up being misunderstood when they engaged on social media sites such as this and then recoiled there afterwards. once bitten twice shy. i've seen it and i've experienced it myself. a long time ago i posted to a social media site and got attacked by someone, not sure why, my post was innocuous. but it made me never want to post to any website ever again. lucky i got over it.

add in the fact that our site here is about anxiety, and i am sure there are people who could make wonderful contributions to this site who are gunshy now after a bad experience elsewhere. i've never been even close to attacked on this website but on most social media sites comments are not moderated and trolls abound.

I suspect technology will meet us half way over time and perhaps someday we will be posting voice messages where the tone and inflection from the voice is added back into how we communicate with each other.

an obvious barrier i deal with is the anonymity. i do not want everyone knowing what health issues i deal with. few of do want that all out in the open. we have to stay anonymous which limits the degree to which we can build connections and bond.

so i guess to end, my question is this. The word "community" is one of those words that is used a lot and has many different definitions (operational, lexicon, and personal definitions). Ashley, how would you define "community" in the context of your original post on this thread? I suspect we all agree we are talking about more than just a group of people. Everyone at the store at the same time one day is a group of people but that does not mean they are a community. So there are defining features to a community. What does everyone here envision as the ideal community for this site?

Hope this sparks further discussion!

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