After two long hard days of setbacks, after two weeks of being back to myself. I feel great today.
I decided to run to get rid of the excess adrenaline and cortisol in my body the last two days and today I feel good. Now when I felt so much energy today and felt awesome, in my head I questioned if this was normal? I haven't felt this energetic and wide eyed in so long. I asked myself if it was normal.
I guess the only difference from today and the last two days was that I did the challenging of negative thoughts homework again and I finally realized, the last two days during my set back I kept thinking about why I felt off? Why do I feel weird? why is this happening again? Why has it come back? I realized that I brought it back, brought back the habit of thinking why its happening, what is happening and if I was going mad or crazy or am I sick? When all along I should've accepted it as normal. I added worry and fear again when I shouldn't have.
I keep telling myself I'm healthy, mentally and physically and anxiety is just symptoms of having too much stress and worry. Now I haven't had a panic attack because I know now hot to accept it and let it come and when I do It never does.
I feel great today and now after having my first real "weird" setbacks, I now understand that in order to be at the end of the tunnel is to ride in the train through the tunnel.
Now I just have to hope for the best and make sure that I never get caught up with the old habits or if I do learn from them and move on.
I start my job in a week and I hope it stays this way.
