Now is the Time!
This is a really timely discussion for me.... I so struggle with Hugs' well-put question...
"How much of the day is mine and how much do I give up?"
I struggle with this constantly. Sunny's post that it is all in our power to choose is a good reminder... especially when I start to feel so overwhelmed and exhausted with the care I provide as granny nanny. It's exhausting. I am exhausted. I have limitations. My daughter wants me to be her daytime babysitter, counselor, best friend, evening and weekend babysitter, financial advisor, sounding board, and sympathy giver, plus be a regular generous grandmother on the side. I can't do it all. And am feeling resentful... this is where Sunny's reminder comes in.... I am responsible for my choices... how I use my time, how much I make myself available, how much I give, how much I take.
The resentment I'm feeling is a clear sign that things are out of balance and it is up to me to change that. Her demands will not only continue, but the more I do for her and her family, the more she expects me to do. I guess that is human nature. I need to remember that only I can protect my time and space and it is a waste of energy to expect otherwise. I have told my daughter that I can either do full-time daycare for her or I can be the mom/grandma available at odd times for various things.
She constantly requests more from me, but does not want to give up the daycare bit. It is up to me to reset boundaries.
When I say no, the guilt is terrible. Her anger is fearsome to me (scaredy-cat that I am about anger from any direction.)
But this discussion renews my strength to try again... to re-set those boundaries and not feel guilty about it. Because this is nutz, I tellya ... NUTZ! I cannot allow myself to wallow in exhaustion OR resentment when how I spend my time is my choice!... my responsibility!
Ugh... that sounds so strong and brave, but now I have to come up with a plan of action....
oh, dear... i am so very tired and there are only 8 weeks more of school (she's a teacher) and then I get two months off, so I shouldn't be complaining and maybe it isn't even worth the effort. I'll just carry on until summer break.... maybe.... if i can. This where it becomes very clear that the tilde before my name represents my noodlely spine... i can't win for tripping myself up.
It feels good to see the progress in others. Thank you for the update. 
good job!