Hey Nodrama,
Rejecting temptation takes a lot of strength and effort, kudos
to you for making the right choice and not allowing the devil out of the bottle.
It may benefit you to closely analyze the whole incident and
see what lessons can be learned. I agree
with Dave, something provoked your decision and action. There was time between your first thoughts of
wanting to drink and the actual driving to the liquor store, taking the bottle
off the shelf, and making that purchase.
Throughout this time frame the desire for alcohol overpowered your will
to fight its temptations. If you can
hone in on the root cause (how/why) then you can probably put control measures
in place to help deal with similar triggers.
The disappointment and letdown to your family may have been the
driving force to resist the temptation (which is great), but if you can think
about your previous outcomes from drinking or getting drunk, your own self-motivation
may also help increase that forces of resistance.
There is no sense in worrying over things that may happen in
the future or what you are capable of doing.
You already know you are capable of taking a bottle off a shelf and getting
drunk, how often have we all done that?
Is it inconceivable that it could possibly happen again? I personally don’t believe that alcoholism is
a disease, if it is, there should be a cure or some effective treatment for it
by now, but in reality, there isn’t. The
best we can do is to manage it to the best of our ability and find support in doing
so. If we were all cured, we would never
have to worry about “jumping into the
darkness” ever again. However, we
can prepare a rescue plan to get us out as quickly as possible in the event we
do fall.
You are doing great Nodrama! (your powerfulness against
alcohol)
“The greatest rewards
in life are hardest earned.”
Nodrama,
Hey it’s just a bump in the road, use this experience positively
to influence your mettle and carry on the good fight. You have shown repeatedly that you are much stronger
than alcohols desire. For every day you’ve
been sober, you’ve been more powerful than it.
If you had 60 days AF and this was a game, then you are winning by a
score of 60 to 1. This my friend, is not
failure.
"You don't drown by
falling in the water; you
drown by staying there” Ed Cole
Foxman,
Please don’t get me wrong,
for I fully respect AA and all the people who are sober today because they
choose the 12 step program. I have not
read the big book and maybe I am ignorant to the meaning of some of the
terminology used in it.
My personal opinion; I just don’t like the negative connotations attached to words like; powerlessness, unmanageability, uncontrollable, incapability, e
Foxman,
Please don’t get me wrong,
for I fully respect AA and all the people who are sober today because they
choose the 12 step program. I have not
read the big book and maybe I am ignorant to the meaning of some of the
terminology used in it.
My personal opinion; I just don’t
like the negative connotations attached to words like; powerlessness, unmanageability,
uncontrollable, incapability, etc. Those
words sometimes can be easily used by people as a crutch rather than take
responsibility or accountability for ones actions (or failure to act). I am a firm believer that positive re-enforcement
yields positive results.
Swig
Sometimes it is easy to tell our love ones what they like to
hear or what we assume they like to hear, just to put their minds at ease. When we make commitments or promises without
fully considering or anticipating all the challenges, obstacles, implications,
effort, and energy required to maintain those promises, it can easily result in
disappointment and a loss of trust when a curve ball gets thrown our way. When we make promises and commitments to
others, we are then obligated to follow through. Do we set the bar too high? Making promises like “I’ll never drink again” or “I’ll
never lie to you again” are probably a bit more than most can actually
deliver, especially early in sobriety.
Even though I’ve only been alcohol free for a little more
than 2 weeks (longest in 20+ yrs), I am very hesitant to set any goals beyond
my original plan of taking back control. I talked with my family and simply announced that
I have quit drinking (and quit smoking).
I did not set any limitations; just let them know that I am determined
to put my energy and effort into remaining quit. Life with alcohol was my norm and I am very
familiar with that place. Life without
alcohol is very much outside my norm and it’s going to take a lot of
getting-used-to. I am not in a position
to make promises or long term commitments; I am contented to be sober NOW and I
have no plans to return to my old norm. Thus
far I like where I’m to; I am enjoying me much more NOW.
Swig
