As for the lies... I lied for 4 whole years to my mom and dad... They wanted to make an economist as they were. Maybe a great manager etc...
Instead I studied informatics and I'm the black sheep of the family (in many ways). I stopped lieing when I grew up. For this you cannot do anything. Is your daughter that needs to grow up and you can't do anything to speed up the process.
I think that your daughter doesn't feel very well with her decision but want to show you that she can decide by herself. But also she wants your help because is confused.
As the other told you don't be too hard on yourself. Now is your daughter that has to decide to grow. And for the persons that are not happy with their life is a very hard thing to grow. You need to be patient.
We managed to have a little bit of real talk. But I don't know if he will ever be ready to have a situation that doesn't offer a 100% security for him. He wants all and for sure. In the real life this is impossible. I know he loves me but is afraid to leave home and the security of home. Th problem is all in his mind. He behaves like a little child. And makes me unsure. I need to know that he is willing to challenge his fears so we can go to live together. I don't ask him to go now but I need to know that he really wants to do it.
I almost managed to overcame the need to please my parents. They had conditioned me very hard on this and it was really in contrast with my personality. I'm a natural leader so for me is very hard to accept constraints and requests. From 6 to 11 I lived with my grandmother. And she ended convincing me that my parents were something of a legend. So I had to be good and to do whatever they asked me. (be the first in schools, be a good girl and so on).
Step by step I rebuild myself and now I started to feel free to be myself. Maybe this is the most important thing.
Doctors. uhm.. great argument. In this period I'm stopping taking paroxetine because I feel that is not helping me anymore. So I'm not any more the patient of my psychiatrist (a great doctor). and now I feel that I should go and see a consellor. I just need a more human approach and not a "scientific" one.
I think that something is changing. Today he surprised me with a new story he has written. And before our discussion he told me that he doesn't want to participate to leterary contests anymore etc. I hope that he starts doing somenthing instead of waiting.
I don't know if this is the best section for this topic.
Yesterday I ended argueing (ehm almost figthing) with my professor. Wasn't my fault. But simply a bad momment to talk with her. And she nearly offended me and told that Ia realy a poor student etc. and that also I'm not working hard enough and not studying enough.
This is the prof version.
As for me I have three papers published in the last period and one of them will be published on a workshop proceedeng with Springer. I think that is not so bad as she tells me.
Itried not to tell anything. I only aknowleged but it was a great
effort from my side. I wanted to tell her that she has no respect for
the people and to tell her that at a human level il a great round zero.
The problem is that even if I know very well that I'm not the last people on earth, and that I've done something in the last period I ended not sleepling at all last night and feeling very depressed and angry. Obviusly this morning I felt ever worst after a whole night looking to the moon...
How could I react better in this situations? I get depressed and feel very bad. sometimes I event start to think that the things she is telling me are in part true...
I don't know if the title is appropiate but in the past two years I helped a little myself with a project. A you know I'm a It prof and I love dogs and other animals. With a bounch of friends we created a portal in Italian. Most of the work is mine. Others are just moderators and experts.
I can tell you that helping other creatures than people is a great reward. Even when I get very depressed maybe I don't write in the forum for several days but when someone needs my help I manage somehow to forget my problems and concentrate on the problems of pets especially dogs.
The poject was born only to help. I pay for everything but relly makes me feel accomplished. When I read that maybe with our help one dog doesn't end in the municipal kennel or that someone adopts a fury friend.
For me helping others definitevelly works.
Ps Sheba is the name of one of my dogs. The nuttiest one :)
You are not the only. I often feel moody too. Especially for PMS. Or when I have too many things in my head. When I start dividing problems and concentrate only on one problem at the time I start feeling a little better and stable. If I remember to do that :)
Often I'm sorry for the persons around me that have to cope with my moods. But I cannot do very much about this.
As you know i'm geting off paroxetine (paxil). Now I'm on 5 mg a day and I started to have redrawal symptoms. I always feel dizzy, sometimes nausea, feeling like fainting.
In two weeks I should be off and I hope that the symptoms wil disapear too. But I also read a lot and I see that many people experience those even a long time after discontinuing the drug. I'm a little scared.
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