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13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Empty Nest Syndrome & Finding a New Role or Purpose in Life - Ideas?

Hi Shari,

So happy to hear of your recent success, well done. Must have been hard for you.

Yeah there's hope and you are living proof of it.

A job well done and a battle fought and won with valour!!!!!!!!! Excaahhllentay!

Your Friend Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Empty Nest Syndrome & Finding a New Role or Purpose in Life - Ideas?

Hi Shari,

I am very much an animal lover and have had pets all my life. But although I know it is slightly biased I most definitely love dogs the most. They are almost human in behaviour but without all the bad points. They love you unconditionally and are forever loyal. Ruby goes just about everywhere with me and has certainly helped me through some tough times.

I am no expert but do know my fair share about shepherds. They are one of the most loyal, obedient and intelligent dogs out there and make excellent companions. One thing in your favour straight away is your moving to the countryside, these dogs need lots of space and exercise. The country is perhaps their perfect environment. They learn very quickly both good and bad habits so you must be prepared to spend time with obedience training and socializing from puppy onwards. But time spent training them will be rewarded to you ten fold. Oh and Grooming! These dogs shed all year round, especially if they are long haired like mine, so be prepared.

Try these websites: http://www.officialgermanshepherdguide.com/German_Shepherd.php

http://german-shepherd-lover.blogspot.com/

Hope this information was useful for you Shari.

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Empty Nest Syndrome & Finding a New Role or Purpose in Life - Ideas?

Hi All,

I am in complete agreement with you folks about breeding dogs for shows/looks. I find it absolutely disgraceful and nothing short of animal cruelty. I get really annoyed when I think of the sacrifices to the dogs health and well beings something that quite obviously does not worry the breeders. Needs to be a change in the law to prevent this from happening and protect the dogs and other animals this happens to!

You will be pleased to know that Ruby is the original straight back shepherd. I am trying to find a profile pic of her to put up.

Anyway, how are you all doing. How has your weekend been?

It's a Bank holiday here in the UK so I get an extra day! Not much use though because I can't take a day off at the moment.

But saying that I don't mind that much because will be going to visit family in Canada after xmas for a whole month, cannot wait!

So excited because the holiday is a necessity in order to recharge my batteries and get some mental peace, stress free. Not had holiday since starting the business. Also to spend quality time with the family.

Will really miss Ruby though. She will stay with my Mum and Dad who will no doubt spoil her rotten, she loves them so should not be too hard for her.

Where do you folks go to recharge your batteries?

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Hi.

Hello and a very warm welcome fairiequeene11,

Like Sunny has mentioned the CBT program is very good and I encourage you to start chapter 1. It helped me a lot once I understood a bit more about panic. I suffer form cataclysmic panic attacks, but since finding this site and the wonderful people here my panic has become more controllable and manageable.

Read a the posts and post some of your own as often as you want, someone will always listen and reply. You have always got a friend here.

Good luck, you are in the right place.

Sunny: Love the pic, gorgeous. He/She looks so content.

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Update

Hello faeriequeene11,

Give it time as the celexra takes a few weeks to kick in thats why you have the valium to take the edge off, nothing to worry about.

I agree with Davit, it is more than likely muscle tension causing the chest pain, this will go away soon.

Try a sauna and muscle relaxation techniques. There are some good yoga postures specifically for anxiety related muscle tension, may be something you can look into?

Take care and may peace be with you Amigo.

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Pleasant Activities

Hello sweatbee,

Excellent thread!

I rarely get the chance for me time but last week I had lucky day off:

I woke up had a lovely soak and said my prayers, very soothing for me.

Fed Ruby and took her and my 1 yr old Indy for a stroll on the beach, weather was just right, neither hot or cold.

Stopped at a greasy spoon for some breakfast. I had vegetarian breakfast, Indy had chocolate pudding and a fruit shoot and Ruby had a bowl of milk. Took a take out for Indy's Mum.

Took a drive to the shop to visit Indy's Mum and drop her breakfast off.

Went home where Indy and Ruby had 40 winks.

Sat at the laptop and done some shopping for gadgets, spent a small fortune. Got a little carried away.

Waited for the missus to come home and we ordered Dominos.

Full fat and a full fun day, felt content all day and managed to avoid a panic attack.

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Helpful Questions For Challenging Your Anxious Thoughts

Hi Davit,

I do not know about nature but I do know that nurture has a huge impact on how the mind evaluates each and every situation.

I had a very frightening and violent childhood, I saw things that no one should have to see and suffered extreme mental/physical abuse. Seeing, experiencing and learning during this very precious time led to everything being negative for me and left me with severe depression and anxiety. Thankfully depression I have overcome but anxiety, although manageable, may be there for the rest of my days. Forgiveness is the key to full recovery, but I will never be able to completely forgive my old man. He was a terrifying, violent control freak with some very backward views and ideas. Me and my Mother suffered continuously at his hands until the day I stood up to him. I was 16 and never felt so scared in all my life, even now I think back and never have I been so petrified. But it worked he backed down and me and Mum went through quite a few years of counselling which really helped. My Father became quite withdrawn during this time, almost like he had lost his power. He saw several Doctors over the course of a few months and was diagnosed with Delusional Paranoia. He has been on medication since which has calmed his symptoms. It has been 15 years since I have spoken to him and I do not foresee ever forgiving him fully even though I know he has a serious psychotic illness. May be my downfall, but its how I feel. My Mother has forgiven him though.

Sorry for waffling on............................. To explain my point, I have a younger Brother and Sister by 5&7 years respectively. They did not suffer so much as me and my Mother bore the brunt of his violence. I always stood in front of them to protect them and take the beatings when he flipped, which was just about everyday. They are now both very successful in their careers and have never suffered any mental illness. May be they knew their Brother was there to protect them, this may have been their mental security, a positive thing. For me their was no protection not even my Mother would try and stop him, no where to run or hide, all negative.

Just my personal theory.

Hope you are well davit, your Amigo Jas.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Helpful Questions For Challenging Your Anxious Thoughts

Hi Sunny,

I agree with you about not hanging on to the past and moving on.

I am 33 and have my own family now. Despite the anxiety I feel in a happy place at the moment, life is busy and hectic but I am enjoying it, or at least trying to. It is a constant battle, you never forget, you just learn to cope.

May be one day I will find that place where you are at, but not right now. I have forgiven him about 80% because of his illness. But the other 20 will be really hard because to an extent despite his illness, I think he knew what he was doing was so wrong and I think he may have actually quite enjoyed his sadistic power trip.

I will always keep trying Sunny, because my heart is filled with love and I want to forgive him, I really do. It is just so hard.

I wish we could all live in perfect, peaceful harmony, love and help each other unconditionally, what a world this would be.

I think even amongst the infinite characteristics, emotions and conditions of the human form, each and everyone us crave that place of eternal peace and contentment to a certain extent. Why is it so hard to find common ground? So many wars, battles and bickering over absolute nonsense!

Wishing you peace and happiness too Sunny!

Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Helpful Questions For Challenging Your Anxious Thoughts

Hi Davit,

Brother let me tell you in no uncertain terms, that I feel so peaceful and content amongst the new friends I have made here.

Yourself, Sunny, Shari, Teebs, Red and others have showered me with your love, kindness and support. I love you all.

We are in this together and together we will help each other overcome all obstacles!

I feel safe and sound amongst you.

Your Amigo for eternity, Jas

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 22

Helpful Questions For Challenging Your Anxious Thoughts

Hi Lovetrees,

So happy for you that the program is working for you! I have read some of your posts and noticed how the people and the program is having a positive effect on you, great work. I too found relief in a very short period of time. For me by far it is the people of the community who have lifted my hope the most. I am not knocking the program, it is great but takes time whereas the forums give you an immediate lift. The positive energy and soothing words of others is amazing! Its great to share and help each other. Good for the soul!

Thank you for empathising. I see you too had it rough through childhood like many of us, but I'm glad you have found space for forgiveness and moved on, well done. I know it could not have been easy. I too have moved on but there is still something that niggles at me now and again, but I am confident that I may find a solution given time.

Hi Cleo,

Thank you for your kind words, means so much.

I definitely understand how it changes your attitude towards your own family. I too have the mindset of being better than my folks and never to let my family come to harm. I suppose out of a really bad situation we learned a lot of negative thought processes but the silver lining is the positive ones that we learned indirectly.

So glad that the program is working for you Cleo and yes we are here for each other, I love this site!

Your Friend Jas

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