Diva, I truly agree with you. The fact that we have panic disorder doesn't mean we can't live a happy life!
I don't know why but the last days I feel depressed, the same old symptoms of depression but slight ones. I am taking part in organizing an "old maid party" (I don't know if is a correct word in English, but in my language at least we say so :D) for a friend before her wedding, I am planning to go to a short travel in August (by plane :D) and many other things but now it seems I don't want these things anymore! I don't want anything! I am trying to resign from taking part in that party and trying to sell plane tickets to someone who would like to go instead of me. Why? What's happening? I was 100% sure I am going to go! At the same time a month ago I came off antidepressants. Is it only a coincidence?
Dear Diva, thanks for your post :))
Dear Danielle, no, none of these activties cause me avoidance anymore. I just feel that I don't want anything. OK, this evening I am going to the theatre, but it is not that I am very excited. And I do not feel panicky about it. I just don't want to do many things. No excitement about them.
Also, I have a lack of appetite. I am seeing my psychoterapist next week and then we will see what is what. It is also difficult to understand what causes me to feel like that. Do my thoughts lead to feeling depressive or does my depression lead to negative thoughts? I don't understand anything and I am tired of trying to understand all that stuff.:( Very often I have thoughts like- Why me? What have I done? But I'll keep working...
Hi Vanessa,
Are you seeing a psychoterapist? Are you working through the program here in this site? Are your family and friends supportive?
There ARE happy days.
Just hang in here and keep posting :)
Dear Danielle, thanks for your advice :)
I can't understand, one day I am really depressed, tired, feeling like balancing on the edge, feeling sick etc., the other day I can live quite a normal life. I know, I have to discuss it with my psychoterapist and I am going to do that.... And this inner anxiety that I feel after coming off antidepressants (the good thing is that thanks to this site (CBT program) I have learned to control my anxiety quite OK). Also I know each stressful situation makes me feel bad (emotionally and physically).:(
Diva,
my sympathies to you, your family and relatives!
What I want to tell you is that...you should be lucky that in your life you've had a chance to meet a person like your grandmother! And she definately was and is a great person!
God sends us our dearest ones for some period that only He knows and we should thank Him for it.
Your grandmother will always be in your memories and some day you will meet her again...
Dear ConquerQueen,
I am so sorry to hear about your loss! My sincere condolences on the passing of your grandmother!
If I look back at the period I had agoraphobia, from my experience I suggest you to visit your doctor and to tell him/her about how you feel and I am sure she will advise you something. For me medication worked really well. I gained the state whem I am quite OK leaving my house and started to work on leaving "all my safety zones".
Also, if you do not succeed in going to your grandmothers' funeral, please don't be hard on yourself. I remember I had my grandfather's birthday and we all family and relatives went for his birthday and it was some 3 hours by car. After half an hour I came back by bus, I could't do that (I also didn't have the tips that the CBT offers, didn't know how to deal with agoraphobia (if I only knew that...)). Later on I phoned to my grandfather and for the first time tried to explain him how I feel and congratulated him on his birthday. I think he felt that yet I haven't arrived for his birthday, I love him and wish him all the best. The same situation could be yours. I am sure your grandmother knows you love her and that you are sorry you will not meet her for some time.
At the same time, maybe give it a try to go to your grandmother's funeral!
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