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5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Day two no drinking

It seems that drinking for me is a silent roller coaster. I wake up in the am planning my day, is it a day off or a day of work? If it’s a day of work do I have enough beer at night when I return from my long shift to get a buzz and go to bed? If not how do I plan my day to make it to the beer store, liquor store or now grocery store to ensure my fridge is full enough...ugh:(.

What a horrible cycle I have created for myself. During the summer my drinking has increased and has become more transparent with others as we socialized more and we often were at more events that resulted in more beer drinking. I like the taste of it, I drink it fast and I’m fine until suddenly I’m slurring and I’m not very nice to the ppl around me.

My partner and I live apart which makes it easier for me to drink, but over the summer we have spent more time together and my partner has warned me about my drinking and then fighting with her. Of coarse the next am I wake up actually feeling fine (maybe a slight headache but no memory of the night before and all the awful things I said before we went to bed.

I’m a nice very caring person who isn’t this jerk unless I’m drunk:(

I hide my drinking well which I feel is another problem, I’m in great shape, I exercise daily and go hard core at the gym about 5 times a week. I lie to people when they ask about how much I drink as I feel it’s a big weakness and I don’t want to be judged. I control my drinking when I’m out with certain people so they don’t know about the true struggle I have inside and the burning feeling I have to have another drink and can’t wait to get home to drink more by myself.

I know I need to control it, I see first hand many people who are effected by liver disease and failure yet for some reason it just isn’t enough to knock some sense in me:(

A lot of my close friends don’t do anything but drink together,the problem is I have tried to avoid them in order to avoid them seeing me “yet hammered again” around them.

I have read the tools and I have filled out some of my goals. I have quit drinking in the past but some how I end up in this spot again time and time again. I have made some horrible desisions while drinking and it’s been a big problem in every relationship.

Now reading this the answer seems so simple, just quit, you can’t just have one, but that’s what I want. I want to be able to control it. I have a very strong leadship position and I do it very well and I’m highly respected by my peers and I feel ashamed a failure that I can’t gain control over the beer drinking:(

I have discussed this with my partner and that was a huge step, my partner is very supportive and I have also told my best friend about my struggles.

I would like to stop drinking for awhile, then try to gain control of it again so I can be that social drinker that isn’t the one questioned every time you say no to a drink and questioned about being an alcoholic. I don’t want to say that is what I am:(

So far one day down with no booze, the rest of my life to go....

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Day two no drinking

Thank you foxman.

I do feel that joining this group has given me the support so far that I feel I need. It’s been a really great week, I feel happy and my irritability has seem to disappear:). I wake up each morning feeling proud of what I have accomplished and not giving into the thoughts of going out and buying beer.

I find I’m very sensitive now to conversations about alcohol and I Instantly feel ashamed and afraid of the reaction my friends or colleagues might have when I choose to have a coffee or water instead of beer. I’m not sure what to do about this feeling. Do I lie and tell them I’m quiting for a bit to get in better shape or do I have to tell them I’m trying to control my drinking and right now I don’t feel I can have a casual drink.

I’m a very honest person and it’s giving me anxiety even thinking about having to refuse a drink.

Has anyone else been in this situation and if so how did you handle it?

I also want to say thank you to all who have posted and responded to other posts, I feel I can really relate to a lot of you! Thank for sharing your stories it makes me feel less alone in this battle!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Confused

That’s an interesting question, I personally don’t have the answer but I’m sure the ppl who run the site will answer your question:)

I personally joined because I was in huge jeopardy of loosing my relationship and a lot of other aspects of my life if I didn’t start becoming accountable and admitting my drinking was getting out of hand. I haven’t joined any other groups and I don’t attend AA but I have found this website a HUGE help in my journey, (I’m still not sure if quiting all together is something I want or not). Personally, it’s been almost a month since my last drink and each day has it’s challenges. (I was worried about the thanksgiving holiday and our plan to go camping that weekend) but with the help of self control of not buying any and with the support of my partner choosing not to drink either for the whole weekend it was manageable. (Still have to admit sitting around a fire with a coffee and not a beer still doesn’t seem right to me yet).

I found reading different subjects posted on here has helped on those difficult days and also using some of the guidelines were really useful! The one I keep using is the 15 min rule. I tell myself it’s fine to think about about having a drink but if I give it 15 mins before giving in I can beat the urge.

I wish you luck and encouragement on your personal journey:)

Elephantinroom:)

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

Confused

I find doing the work sheets really helped me realize how out of control I had gotten with my drinking. Give your self a few hours to get through it. It’s quite a wake up call if you are being honest with your self and your answers.

I found in order for me to stop I needed to get of the temptation in my house so I finished the last two beer I had and knew the next day I would commit to my promise to myself.

You need to find your reason for YOU, and your family can help your reasons but you have to make it about you and your personal gains. I found the only way to be successful with quiting smoking was replacing it with something. I choose gum and it’s been 10 years this month! Every other attempt I failed. As for replacing the alcohol it’s a bit harder, I have replaced it with carbonated water, no weight gain! If I can’t stop thinking about it, I change what I’m doing and tell myself the urge will go away, I just need to change what I’m doing. So far it’s been over a month alcohol free and it gets a bit easier as the days go by!

Good luck with your journey!

5 years ago 0 +0 / -0 5

New here

Hi Virtute!

Congrats on your ability to withstand the temptation and choose water instead! Today marks my two months without a drink:). I can really relate when it comes to the social gatherings, the last party my friends were having I showed up with a coffee, (my friends were trying to take it away and give me a beer). When I finished my coffee I opened up one of the three cans of sparkling water that I brought. I couldn’t believe how many of my friends kept offering me beer instead of my water. I had to keep telling each new person that asked “would you like a beer instead of that” that I was good with just water.

Over these past two months I’ve done a lot of self reflecting.....why am I always on edge, is it the alcohol or is there something else going on. Why do I have to stop drinking all together when others can just have one or two and stop, can I be one of those ppl? And the list went on. These past two months has allowed me to take alcohol out of the equation which has been sooo valuable! It’s been a real eye opener to say the least! The biggest thing I have noticed is that it’s very well noticed if you refuse a drink or choose something with no alcohol. I found with all my friends, (the hard core drinkers and the occasional drinkers) it was faily easy to come up with a reason and they respected it and as time has gone by I have been more open with my reasons. (I don’t tell ppl how much of a jerk I could be or that I was drinking a HELL of a lot more then they even knew! I just tell them that I’ve been doing a lot of reflecting and figured if I wanted to live longer I better start with taking better care of myself. So I tell them it’s started with a bet with myself, “I can’t go a week without one...next a month, next two months, next, till the new year...(we will see what the next goal is once I reach the next one:).

My advice to you, come up with some easy reasons like I drove here so I’m not drinking. (Not even one just in case) I’m challenging myself....I’m on a new diet (the Keto diet is actually what I’m on and it doesn’t allow alcohol due to the carbs). Great excuse:).

Another big lesson I have learned through this short yet very exciting journey is that lots of ppl have problems with alcohol and it effects ALOT more ppl then we even know about!

So small obtainable goals are the best way to succeed! If your goals are to far away or to unrealistic you might be setting yourself up for failure so make them obtainable:)

Good luck with your journey!!

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