I havent been on here for a few days. I am so happy to read your posts! It sounds like you have a good graps on things, and I know you will work it out!
With regards to sleep, I had a really hard first few days. However, one of the Health Educators on this site recommended a few things before bed. I now use a long, hot shower, followed by reading until my eyes get tired. That routine has worked for me to help break the cycle of alcohol induced sleep.
It stood out to me that you are looking forward to the freedom of not drinking but you are worried about losing this as motivation. How can you remind yourself of this feeling when times get tough?
Your positive attitude and momentum is inspiring and definitely provides inspiration for those of us here. Great work and keep going! I've been thinking a lot about you (and Zoey as well) regarding your daily ritual of drinking at a certain time of the day\ or a sleep aid and I realized I was the same way. I used to have real difficulty getting to sleep at night and I had actually forgotten how much until I read your posts and started thinking about it. For me it was a combination of things but being anxious was top of the list. I could never quite figure out why but when I lay down to go to sleep my mind would start racing to the point I had to get up and watch tv or have a drink (usually both and that was when I wasn't drinking excessively). I'm sure the other reason was the detoxing effect. Since I've quit I've worked hard to address the underlying issues anxiety and, while I still have miles to go (before I sleep...sorry had to through that in there :) , it's made all of the difference (as well as being fully detoxed from alcohol).
As I was considering the whole thing it stuck me how our decision making is impaired when we are anxious and stressed. It becomes difficult to make a decision in those conditions yet we will spend the day in anticipatory stress leading up a point in when we normally drink. Isn’t it convenient that by the time we reach that point that we are so stressed out or fatigued that our decision making processes are compromised and we have no will to not have a drink? In fact we embrace it. It seems like kind of deliberate, negative feedback loop that feeds the need to control fear and anxiety through alcohol. It’s like the anticipation of the school bell going off when we were kids. For whatever reason, both positive and negative, that bell going off was a cue for freedom and control. Conversely, its heart breaking to think of a child where the inverse was true and the bell going off represented a feeling of dreadful anticipation and fear of the prospect of having leave to go home or facing classmates after school. The same can be applied to any of us leaving work and going home. Either way, the result is the same. Fear. Control. Freedom. Maybe I'm way off base here but I thought I would share it anyway. What is also startling is who we unknowingly embark on a path of conditioned learning that starts off so innocently and then escalates in a alcohol abuse problem.
What I trying to say Lynn is your sleep will return to normal if you give yourself the chance you deserve. Keep up the great work!
Thanks for the support! You got this too!!! Stay strong and positive. Following your plan is an accomplishment. Stick with it, we are all here for you.
Sleeping has to get better, not sure how it can get worse!
Zoey, how are things with you?
Many interesting feelings tonight. My plan was to go to Fri then decide if I want a drink. Normally, if I had gone 2 nights of not drinking I would be feeling really "antsy" tonight with the anticipation of drinking Wed or Thur night. I am not feeling that tonight.
I went to the gym this afternoon (which is normal) but for the first time I didn't feel like I was lying. Very good feeling, hope it continues tomorrow...also hope for sleep :)
Great job Lynn, I've also had a hard time sleeping, but it seems to get better and definitely wake up more refreshed from not drinking. Keep up the good work!
After sleeping very little last night I completed my day of work related meetings. Even though I was feeling bad because of little sleep, I did not allow it to change my thoughts. Before, if I had this type of sleepless night I would be anticipating my "start time" so I could drink knowing that I would sleep tonight. I took a short nap when I got home and now with that all important "start time" approaching know that I will not be taking a drink tonight. I have to break this cycle sometime, if not now then when??
Lynn, on to day 2! Great job! Thank you for bringing a bright spot to my day with your success. You have a great mindset right now. Give yourself the opportunity to let it evolve into something great. And thank you for the positive thoughts. I'm an open book and sincerely hope anything I have done and can share will help in some small way.
Zoey, way to go getting past that rough spot at 4pm. That is HUGE so "Well done". It's tough for sure and takes practice but it will get easier so keep going. These tests are challenges that prep you for others down the road. Start to treat them as such and look forward to crushing them under the heel of your boot. We need to get past them so the sooner the better! Bring them on!
Jewel, I'm inspired by your progress and insightfulness. Great work on all of those yellow days throughout out the month on your calendar. I still maintain mine. The months go past quicker than we think and all can say is I wish I had done it sooner. So how has your outlook changed from a month ago (1 month! that is so awesome!).
It’s been a while since you were active on this site. Please extend your session below
You have been logged out due to inactivity.
Please sign back in.
We use cookies to help us learn about how our platform is used and how we can improve your experience. To
learn more please see our Privacy Policy and Terms of Use.
