Oh no, I’m sorry your message was erased. If you think we have things in common that’s great and exactly what I’m looking for. Someone who can relate to me. If you wish to rewrite your message I’d be happy to read it, relate or just chat about life in general.
I’ve been doing OK lately cutting down and keeping busy but I’m not satisfied at all with the progress. I get so angry at myself every time I “fall off the wagon” I can never make it past day 13.
However I’ve been going to the gym. A good friend of mine is in the best shape of her life and wondering what happened to me. She’s training with me but doesn’t about my problem. I signed up for a ladies outdoor soccer league also. I used to play competitively so this will help me begin to meet my fitness goals. So one step at a time I guess. I’ve taken this all on over the last month to try and help cut back. I’m still constantly battling this horrid addiction. That's the latest with me.
I've been debating looking for some sort of assistance for awhile now. By day I have a great career and I've advanced well. I can improve and control that, but not this. Which is why I feel a bit relieved for this site because I'd likely fail 1000 times than see anyone in person. My first step was realizing there is a problem. I have a problem. I used to blindly think drinking was a coping mechanism, or stress reliever. Since realizing this the drinks create complete guilt. Once I actually clued in and thought wow maybe I should stop this I failed a few times and it surprised me. I've had some tough times in life so far but who hasn't? I can't allow this to remain an excuse.
Before all this I used to be an athlete and now I struggle to get my priorities straight. There are so many people who look up to me I'm so ashamed of this tragic secret. My immediate family is of no help to me as they are just as trapped in this addiction if not much worse. They always come to me to lean on but don't realize I'm struggling too. I don't dare show it. I'm very lucky to have such a supportive husband who believes I can stop this and has never encouraged it, but at the same time has no idea what it's like.
So enough going on about it. Is there anyone here who wants to keep in touch starting now and begin this battle together? Daily success and failures straight up. I feel it's easy to give into temptation but maybe there's a few of us who have the exact struggle and want to support each other day to day?
