Hi folks,
I want everyone to know that I have the utmost respect for all your input, opinions and advice. And for those who are able to or were able to completely abstain, I sincerely applaud you because alcoholism is a (excuse my language) a real ***** to get rid of.
Having written the foregoing, and by no means am I some sort of hero or anyone special with extraordinary will power, but I have been able to moderate my drinking for almost seven months now. This is something that if you had asked me seven months ago, I would have said you were out of your mind...it isn't possible, at least not for me.
But I have done exactly that. No more hard liquor at all, no more wine, no more beer in excess of 5% alcohol and no more than 2-3 drinks (beer) per night. OK, I'm still an alcoholic with a drinking problem...guilty as charged. I still need, want and make a conscious decision to have my 2-3 beer (5%) per night just to chill out. In fact, the really weird, yet wonderful thing, is that the very thought of going back to drinking in excess or going back to hard liquor or wine actually turns me off. In fact, it scares me to the point that the thought itself acts as a deterrent.
I am not advocating moderation for all the reasons, and they are excellent ones, listed by different forum members below. I am simply stating that it is possible. If I, a real problem drinker with depression, who was completely convinced I could never moderate my drinking can do it, then I suppose I could stick out my neck and say that others could as well.
In any event, I would never ever defend my position to you Nodrama or to the rest of you guys, because I have too much respect to attempt to force my situation or success in moderating on anyone.
I have gone through a major stress period in the last ten days, in which I had to have my eldest dog (my 9 year old child) put to sleep because of a fast-acting and progressive liver disease. I cried and cried and cried. It had to be the toughest thing I ever had to do in my life except for my stupid suicide attempt last October when I attempted to drive my car 60 miles an hour into a concrete wall and suffered physical injuries that should have killed me instantly. But by the grace, mercy and plans of God, I am still here.
Not more than 5 days after our eldest pet dog's death, and over $4000 later, my youngest baby (3 year old dachshund) became very sick and was displaying almost exactly the same symptoms. So back to the vet hospital as an emergency case since it was the weekend, and 7 hours and $1115 later, thank God, she did not have the same virus or whatever disease that killed our eldest baby (I call them our babies or children, even though we have 3 adult children, because that is how we treat them and recognize them). She is now 100% back to her old self...which can be a royal pain in the behind, but we love her all the same, spots and speckles and all.
Now, that was an extreme acid test for me, because normally when I was drinking heavily, I would have got sloshed almost every night since my eldest pet dog (child) passed on, and i would have most definitely used these latest incidents as my reason for drinking so much.
In closing, and I am going to throw it out there for others to comment on, drinking in moderation (even for heavy drinking alcoholics) is possible. As I stated earlier, I am living proof, and I was a tough ass case...believe me.
