Get the Support You Need

Learn from thousands of users who have made their way through our courses. Need help getting started? Watch this short video.

today's top discussions:

logo

Challenging Worry

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-20 11:42 PM

Depression Community

logo

Hello

Linda Q

2024-04-11 5:06 AM

Anxiety Community

logo

Addiction

Ashley -> Health Educator

2024-04-08 3:54 PM

Managing Drinking Community

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Browse through 411.749 posts in 47.054 threads.

160,526 Members

Please welcome our newest members: eggmegrolf, PearlCat19, mima, FrannyLou, AABBYGAIL RUTH

Day 19


9 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sarah,
 
Take a look around and note all the positive and knowledgeable support. Take what you need and keep it close.  The members are amazing at assisting and listening every step of the way.
 
Your determination is amazing as well!
 
Go into Day 20 with positive energy and advice!

Josie, Health Educator
9 years ago 0 345 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hi Hopefulsarah,

Kudos on day 19 AF. Fabulous accomplishment, given your ambivalence about how you would like to see your relationship evolve with alcohol. To put things in perspective, you may want to consider rereading some of the statements you made since you’ve joined us. You’ve had a problem with alcohol for years, you’ve made many attempts to stop/cut back, your parents are both alcoholics, all your friends drink, you’re surrounded by it, people pressure you to drink and you don’t want your children to fall victim to the same culture.

However hopefulsarah, you also stated that without alcohol you’re a better mom, you can have fun at parties, you sleep better and you don’t need it for getting through difficult situations.

It’s an oxymoron, like saying life is so much better without alcohol but geez, I’d like to drink. I believe this is why you’re struggling. You know you have a problem with alcohol but deep down you are not ready to cut it out of your life.

Many of us here have gone on this exact same rollercoaster….Einstein observed that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.

I’m with Dave, concentrate on just moving forward and eliminate all thoughts of what your ultimate goal is. It may just resolve itself with time….since you still have fun at parties, you don’t need it to give you courage, you sleep better and because it makes you a better mom.

Keep up the good fight, don't worry and just relax

TS

9 years ago 0 347 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Good job Sarah!  The way you explained your trials seem so familiar!  

Dave, good advice!  I like the "in your gears" statement.  Very well put!

Lynn
9 years ago 0 1009 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Sarah, you did an amazing job! Well done! When people give you the gears about not drinking it's usually a good indication that they should address their own drinking. And often these people have a very smiley way of making someone feel bad about their decision not to drink. It's not your problem, it's theirs so try not to make their problem your problem, if you know what I mean. 

Although it feels really difficult right now, it gets a lot better quickly as you adjust to your own control and decision making. Change is never comfortable, especially when changing something that you've used to make you feel comfortable! This can be uncharted territory for many of us but you're rewarded with freedom. You don't need to make a decision about your long term plan of whether you'll drink again or not. Jut keep moving forward like you are and doing the great job that you just demonstrated you are capable of and the success will come to you.

Awesome work Sarah! It will get better sooner than later.

Best regards,

Dave
9 years ago 0 56 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0

Hi hopefulsarah 


  thats amazing congrats!!!! even though we are af for many days and feel great it is still hard ...but those great days....we should think about how good we feel not on that roller coaster!!!! good for you for all your work family pressure is sooooo hard !!! i know !!!! congrats again!

9 years ago 0 15 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Today is Day 19 of being AF. July 4th was by far, the HARDEST day. I very nearly caved and had a drink. We had my husband's sister and her husband over and they were all drinking. I felt a lot of pressure from my sister-n-law to drink and even when I said I was trying to "cut back", she wouldn't let it go. However, I made it though and didn't drink, but I was near tears at time, it was very, very hard. It's funny because I know all the reasons that the last 19 days have been good. I am sleeping better, I'm being a better Mom, I'm learning that I don't have to hide behind a mask of alcohol to have fun at parties and I honestly really don't need "liquid strength" during certain situations. Everything is better, really. But, given all that, it's still incredibly hard. One of the reasons I wanted to stop / cut back (still unsure) was that I was tired of the emotional roller coaster and tired of spending so much of my time thinking about alcohol, worrying about it, etc, etc. Yet - here I am thinking about it and struggling more than ever now that I've stopped for two weeks. I'm hoping that will at least lessen. Day 20 - here I come....

Reading this thread: