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Pondering about what to do for Xmas

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 616

Hi Squashed.....great job of staying in control over the holiday season.

"I don't remember exactly when I joined the " If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em " club, but I sure regret that move!"

For some reason that statement really struck me. I believe I fall into that category too. My husband is not a heavy drinker by any means, but I was raised by a mother who abused, and still abuses alcohol. For a few months I've tried moderation, and did quite well. I've now decided to take a break from drinking altogether. I didn't make it my New Years resolution as I don't believe in them. For me it means setting myself up for failure. I plan to start abstinence of this weekend. It's been quite some time that I've had more than a couple weeks alcohol free and I'm looking forward to being sober for an extended period of time. I'm not sure how long I'll abstain but I'm hoping I'll reach the point where I just don't want to have alcohol in my body anymore. I refuse to say "never", its a very long time, and a sense of fear sets in, but I can say "not today", and be ok with that. I'm looking forward to feeling healthy and clear headed again.

You seem to have a good handle on what triggers your consumption and how to avoid those situations. That's a great start. Trigger situations are always a difficult thing for me, learning to cope with them will be tough, but health and happiness are more important than the instant gratification of pouring wine down my throat. Best wishes to you.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 42

There are two aspects that I need to address to ensure that alcohol is not in our house.

The first one is that I don't buy it. I am pretty safe with this one because I rarely go out and seek it. Last year I estimate that I probably bought about 5 bottles of wine in total. Another thing is that I easily moderate my drinking when I am out socialising, which is hardly ever anyway. I am 59 years old and a party pooper.

The second plan is more of a challenge. My husband has a drinking problem also ( but he is in denial). I have asked him not to buy wine for me and he has granted this wish except on one occasion. Last night in fact, being New Years Eve. He dutifully hid it as requested by me and that was the end of that. My plan is ,if he does buy wine again, I will tell him that I will tip it out right before his eyes. That might get through. I understand his motives, he doesn't want to loose a drinking buddy and probably feels threatened by my wish to address my drinking problem. This might force him to think about his own addictions and he is clearly not comfortable confronting these just yet. It's a complex situation but one which must be overcome.

I don't remember exactly when I joined the " If You Can't Beat 'Em, Join 'Em " club, but I sure regret that move! Now it's time for me to invest in more fulfilling activities, ones that don't involve drinking.

I hope I am on the right track here, let me know if I have missed anything.

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Happy New Year Squashed!

Good work and that is an important realization! Very important. How do you plan on sticking to keeping no alcohol is the house in the New Year?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 42

Well Xmas has been and gone. There was wine on the day so there was wine consumed, and what fine wine it was too!

How much? Too much probably but I was well behaved and enjoyed the family festivities very much. I am not sure how the wine got into the house, I certainly didn't buy it. It just appeared, got opened and then shared amongst my adult children and their partners. Plus me. There were 2 bottles. I was OK with it. But I do know this- if there had been no-one to share it with I would have drank the lot. This is a very important realisation. I simply can not have large amounts of alcohol in the house. Ever.

Now it's New Years Eve 9.54 pm, our grandson is sleeping over and the fire works have just begun. It's a beautiful sight and I am feeling content.There has not been wine since Xmas day and I am also feeling quite proud of myself. Although December might have been a difficult month to begin to get my binge drinking under control, I am so glad I started. I feel so much better, excessive drinking just made me feel like crap mentally and physically. That's another important realisation, one that I remind myself constantly.

I really hope that your Xmas was a happy one and that your New Year will bring you lots of joy and a twinkle in your eye!

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 72

Hi Everyone,

It is Saddie again. I am still trying to find the Moderation Gang link. I know I haven't been on here since last May, but would like to find my way back to that group. I have been moderating my wine drinking this week. I have not had more than 3- 6 oz. drinks a night. Of course my moderation is being driven again by my desire to lose 5 pounds which I don't see as a sincere desire to moderate. I need more of a kick in the back end to keep me inspired. Help!

Think before you Drink!

Saddie

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Hi Squashed,

Rob offers you excellent advice. He hits the nail on the head when he says to have a plan in place prior to. Also, plan to reward yourself for sticking to your goal. Have you made a choice in goal yet?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 252

Squashed,

well done, you are addressing the issues before the event.

Christmas is always a difficult time, my only advice here might be that whatever you decide be very clear with yourself what you have decided so that when the battle with yourself begins there is no ambiguity. Plan ahead and plan in detail, alternative soft drinks, strategies etc.

Take care and the best of luck,

Rob

10 years ago 0 +0 / -0 42

Since joining and making a real commitment to address my drinking issues, I have managed to reduce quite substantially the amount of drinks I consume. But more importantly, of the 18 days of joining I have had nil alcohol for 9 of these with the last five entries in my diary showing 5 days in a row of no drinking what so ever. It's not been easy and I have had to dig deep on a number of occasions. Thank goodness for this site, it's been a real help.

I am not sure about my goals at the moment. Continue with the zero alcohol or define a set amount for Xmas day ? I know that if there is a standard size ( 750 ml) bottle of wine in the house at any one time , it will be gone - either in a flash or savoured over a longer period. But gone none the less.

I could invest in some time and petrol to locate the rare 330 ml bottles ( that cost about the same as the larger quantities! ) but I am worried that this might lead to me torturing myself with dissatisfaction on the day or even worse actually unintentionally buying the larger bottle instead.

My husband is a heavy drinker and thankfully I would never touch his preferred poison - bourbon and cola premix. Will I feel resentful that he has a Xmas drink while I celebrate with a can of no sugar added sparkling iced tea? Mmmm probably.

So I am still pondering about what to do for Xmas.

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Pondering about what to do for Xmas