EvolutionHealth.care

Home
Main Forum
Managing Drinking
Introduce Yourself
Hi, im jen

Advanced Search Form

Hi, im jen

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Hello, Jen. We definitely give a crap. I felt much the same as you do.... guilty when I drank, and had trouble sleeping. You can see my story under "I need support from you all" here in the introductions forum. I wanted so badly to moderate, and my husband didn't want me to stop drinking. He asked me just last night if I would join him outside and drink with him. You have to search inside yourself and figure out what you really want, and just start with one day at a time. I remember thinking that not drinking would be impossible, that I just couldn't do it, that I wasn't a problem drinker, etc. The truth was my daughter knew, (she is 9) even though I never drank that much. Now that I'm sober, she is my biggest cheerleader. I'm sure you're an amazing mother, but don't you deserve more for yourself? Do you believe your life will be better if you drank less, or not at all? Only you know these answers, and you can make a change. You can! Best of luck, I will be thinking of you.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Somehow we convince ourselves how lovely it would be to have a drink

Thats the subtle in-sanity we call powerlessness. Inability to look past, and think about the dire consequences. All we focus on is the effect that we experience, at that moment. And then once we put one or two drinks in the body. All bets are off. Spiritual awakening/Attitude shift is what saved me.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi Jen,

We really do understand where you're coming from and feel your pain. I had night sweats for a good two weeks the first time I stopped drinking. It was total hell but what's worse, I went in for a few encores. It was very frustrating in that I'd drink to sleep and then wake up a few hours in. Then I'd quit, have horrible night sweats and it took months for me to actually sleep through the night...sporadic of course. However, the guilt is the worst because in that deciding that there's a problem, perhaps having blacked out or hungover in the past, you develop a sense of unease or even terror should you have a drink, which you ultimately cannot enjoy because of the history.

Truly a vicious cycle. What is interesting is how many of us go through this cycle repeatedly knowing full well how it will end yet pursue it nonetheless. Somehow we convince ourselves how lovely it would be to have a drink (ten), to sit with friends and have a few (then go home and knock back a bunch), or maybe just actually have a few but then feel guilty and not enjoy it anyway.

Hopefully Jen you'll be one of the lucky ones and be able to moderate in time if that is what your goal is. Unfortunately/fortunately, I'm not one of them. I only have the one option. I just pretend to have more.

Please post lots, it does help and yes, we do give a crap.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

Thank you for your understanding. I probably sounded horrible the other day. Ive been trying to cut down, but i always find myself feeling guilty anytime i drink. I can have just 1 or 2 drinks and feel awful about it. Also, my night sweats have continued when i dont drink. I also dont sleep very well if i havent had a few drinks beforehand. Thanks for the responses, I do feel like someone actually gives a crap about my drinking.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Sorry Jen,

You're right, I did assume you drank around your kids. I know I did and would always stink of alcohol the next day. I just suggested the coffee table as it's so easy to walk into it when getting a little stumbly. Of course we're all different and I shouldn't have jumped to conclusions.

I'm very happy to read that you put your kids first and ensure that all their needs are met. You sound like a very good parent. I'm also one of those people who drink a lot when I drank. That's why I had to make the decision to stop all together. It no longer bothers me to be around people who drink and I no longer miss it. But, having said all that, I will in all likelihood drink from time to time again. I've always felt that drinking from time to time does not negate all the days you do not drink.

Hope you find what works for you. Good luck!

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

So i dont know if you are actually trying to help or not, but telling me my kids see me acting a certain way, and stinking of liquor offends me. You dont know when i drink. Or how i hurt my knee. We dont even own a coffee table. And like i said, i dont even get drunk in front of them. And dont "stink" of liquor. For someone that is supposed to be supportive, you are sure judgemental and presuming.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 4

I have not talked to my doctor about this, as it is embarrassing to admit to someone in person that you are addicted to alcohol. I have tried to stop, went a few days with no alcohol, and had severe night sweats. That was the worst symptom, nothing as bad as shakes or nausea. Ive not really tried anything in the past, as ive just come to terms with the fact that i am probably an alcoholic. My goal is to cut back to just having a couple drinks a week. The problem with me, is that i seem to just keep drinking as long as there is alcohol available. When there isnt any, I dont drink. I havent really talked to anyone about this, aside from a few jokingly remarks to my husband. And for the record, I dont get blackout drunk in front of my kids. Not like its any better, but i do wait until I put them to bed before i start my binge drinking. I always get them to school, get them up for school, get them ready, get their lunches, pick them up, take them to activities. Im not defending my alcoholism, but Im not a complete deadbeat parent.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Welcome Jen,

I am glad you found us. You do not have to tackle this alone. Have you talked to your doctor about your drinking? It is important to speak to your doctor before you attempt to moderate or abstain. Sometimes withdrawal symptoms can be very dangerous - there is more information on this in the education section of the website.

How have you tried to moderate or abstain so far? Has anything been helpful in the past?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 54

Hi Jen, Welcome and very sorry to hear about your troubles. As recently as seven months ago I just couldn't see myself getting by without alcohol, after being a daily and very often heavy drinker for very many years. I am alcohol free now *most* of the time (it's still a work in progress - I never kidded myself that I'd change that totally that quickly). And I must tell you, I feel better now, mentally and physically than I thought I ever could again. My point is, while I do not know you personally, I know that if I can change so can you. The hardest part possibly is getting started, and finding the path that will work for you. Congratulations on taking this important step and opening up. If an old drunk like me can finally get on track, you can surely do it too. The earlier the better! The good folks on this forum will tell you can't imagine how much better you will feel about yourself after putting it behind you. They know from experience, and I am now convinced as well.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi Jen,

Welcome! I'm so glad you found us. You didn't share what your goal is ultimately but it is clear that you are struggling. The thing is, your children are struggling as well. Although they are probably not fully cognizant as to why mommy acts the way she does, you can be sure they will remember these dark days. So now is the time to change. You can change the course of their memories starting today. You can change your self perception as well. The price is quite affordable as it is simply not to drink. The reward will be the greatest gift that you can bestow on your children, a sober mom. Not only that, you will be able to look in the mirror each morning and smile. You won't be hungover, or stink like liquor. Your appearance will improve and your interests will return. Best of all, you'll remember everything from the previous evening. Just think, you'll be able to recall slamming your leg agains't that darn coffee table lol. You also get to treat yourself with small rewards for not drinking. Jen, it's not easy to change but it sure is a lot easier than not changing.

We're here for you,

Reading this thread:

today's top discussions:

This Month’s Leaders:

Most Supportive

Most Active

Most Loved

Hi, im jen