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Hi I?m Mary

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11216

Welcome Mary,

Good for you for coming here and taking full accountability. That is not easy to do - but you are facing this head on! Have you decided to abstain in social situations or moderate? Have you discovered any tips that may help in your goal?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 345

Hi Mary,

So nice of you to join us! Moderating certainly can be done but I suggest you abstain for at least three full months prior to trying the moderation route. You need to reset your drinking habits otherwise you'll just end up doing the frustrating loop you find yourself in now. When you do get to the point where you allow yourself to drink, remember that moderating means having no more than two drinks in an entire evening. You will likely not feel any kind of buzz so if it's the taste of alcohol you desire, you should be good. However, if it's the buzz that you seek, forget even trying. Drinking to excess just one night a week is not moderating, it's getting loaded and you'll be back to doing what you're doing now in no time.

I'm a little confused in that you said you don't want to drink around people when they are drinking??? Does that mean you want to drink alone since you also said you want to cut back? Perhaps you could clarify.

Regardless of your plan, know that we are here for you.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 113

Hi Mary,

Welcome to AHC. Hello to you, Gus, and Foxman, too! I tried moderation so hard, Mary, and in the end, realized that moderation was harder than quitting altogether for me. You can read my trials and tribulations with moderation here on the forum under "I need support from you all" in the introductions section. It chronicles a year or so of my journey to becoming sober, with all the bumps in the road along the way.

There are people who successfully moderate, I just wasn't one of them. I didn't drink every day, was fully functioning, and still don't consider myself an alcoholic, haha! I just don't drink anymore. I didn't go to AA, never did an online program, I just got advice from the folks on this site, and paved my own road to sobriety. It wasn't easy, but eventually I got to a place where I just don't drink anymore. It feels great to not have hangovers, to not have fluctuations in my moods from drinking, and I certainly don't miss the shame and embarrassment that came with being too tipsy.

There are many ways to moderate, or quit drinking, and by admitting you feel your drinking has become an issue for you, you've already taken the first step. I posted a lot in the beginning, and received a lot of help here. I wish you all the best.

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

Welcome to the forums Mary. Unfortunately what you are planning on doing may not work. Many have tried to control and enjoy their drinking. But invariably we slip and slide back to the old way of drinking. For me total abstinence was suggested. But I couldn't stay stopped. My mind would trick me back into picking up the first drink. Applying the 12 steps of AA, I am now sober over 10 years. Without the program, the fellowship, I probably we dead.

Sorry couldn't stay long. I am at work these days. Use to work from home but recent changes all are asked to come into work.

Later

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 115

Hey Mary,

Welcome to the site, although it isn't working well the last month or two - so if I take a while to respond, you know why.

If you feel like you need to quit drinking, you came to the right place. You will find many examples on this site of people who have quit drinking successfully. Dave, Foxman, Julie, Flipflopmom etc. All have been quit for different lengths of time. All have different perspectives on what it takes to quit. By reading through all the posts, you should come up with ideas to help you get your drinking under control.

I completely understand where you are at right now, with sickness, getting mean, missing work etc. I felt and lived all those bad feelings, especially the last couple years that I drank. Those feelings just got worse and worse as I kept drinking.

I stopped drinking over 18 months ago, and I haven't looked back. It is truely the best decision I ever made in my life. If you are committed to getting help you can find it. Just imagine yourself waking up everyday with those bad feelings all gone and being a distant memory. You can get there.

All the best

Talk later

Gus

7 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1

Hi so this is the first time for me reaching out for help with my drinking. In the last year or so I've had issues with not being able to control my drinking. I only drink 1 To 3 days a week but when I do it's pretty heavy (but not all the time). Last weekend I drank so much, I bruised a rip from getting sick. Right now Im in a whole lot of pain and have to miss work. Also I didn't treat the people around me very nice. I wasn't ever a mean drunk but I feel myself turning into one.

I want to learn how to cut back and not drink around people when they are drinking.

Anywho that's a little about me. I look forward to reading everyone's post and learning from them.

Thanks and take care,

Mary

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Hi I?m Mary