It does feel good knowing how far I've come. I've learned a lot and I have a good plan in place to carry me through the rough spots. I guess just like anything in life you need a plan and a plan b.
I think the daily pledge is a great idea. Addictions are always waiting for you to forget the bad times so they can get their foot back in the door. A daily commitment helps me to put things into perspective. My daily goal (amongst other things) is to stay sober and to grow as a person.
I love hearing your determination. You have come such a long way. How do you feel knowing all you have accomplished?
You also raise an interesting idea. What does everyone think about coming here each day and pledging your choice not to drink today? We do that in our stop smoking site and many members feel it really helps.
We could start a new thread each day. It may help knowing we are all going through this together. Let us know your ideas.
I took getting sober very seriously this time so my experience might be too limiting for you now depending on your commitment to abstaining. I didn't involve myself in social situations where there was alcohol for the first week. My friends and family were also aware that I had a problem and that I needed their support so I didn't have the issue of being pressured into drinking.
It's totally up to you to decide if getting sober is worth letting the cat out of the bag. I can certainly appreciate wanting to keep that info to yourself. For me it has made the transition a lot easier having those I trust know the truth. Anyone who knew me much knew I had a problem anyway so the general vibe I get is that people are happy for me.
I drink non alcoholic beer at the cottage and friends birthdays as well which "fools" other drinkers so they tend to leave me alone. I've heard that can be a trigger but it's not for me.
I concur with Wren that a daily commitment to staying sober really helps to keep you focused. I don't ever want to forget the absolute misery alcohol brought to my life and what it cost me. It took a lot to get clean and sober and I know how awful I would feel throwing it away for some lousy booze.
Thanks for sharing your story with me and congrats on being sober. That's a good idea, "the migraine idea". I think I like that. I might try it out actually. I always find I have a hard time saying no because I don't want people to know I have a problem or I feel like I will seem weak. This has been a really long week for me so far and it's only Wednesday...
Anyone have any other stories or ways that I can get out of drinking in social situations?
I have experience saying no that I will share. I told my friends and family members not to talk about drinking in front of me because it makes me want to drink. I have not had a drink of anything in over two months. I quit the habit of going out to bars. I was on a business trip recently and went to dinner with my coworkers (who don't know I have a problem.) They kept insisting I should drink with them. One ordered me a drink even though I said no, so I slid the glass to her side of the table and told her I had to quit drinking because it always gives me migraines. Everyone was sympathetic and nobody said anything else about me not drinking. I won't lie; it's been very hard to quit. I made a decision to quit and I recommit every morning. I say it out loud to myself because if I say it enough, maybe I'll come to believe it. This is the longest I've been sober (without being pregnant) for 35 years.
I'll definitely add in to my "lesson learned" file. I always feel better as time passes because the damage done seems less serious. But then it just seems to happen again, I slip and create tons of problems.
Do you have any tips on how to say no and not give in to my social peers? This viscious circle continues!
Well just file that under "lesson learned" and try to move forward. You just have more evidence that you're doing the right thing by quitting.
I just learned today that months ago, before going to detox, I was given a gift by my best friends and was so drunk and nasty I threw it on the floor yelling "this sucks!". We can laugh about it now but it makes me feel good to know that nasty drunk person won't be getting out again. Doesn't sound like I was very nice to be around when I was drinking.
Saying no at first IS hard but gets easier with time. Again, having the support of my treatment group and friends make saying no almost effortless as each day I ground myself to stay sober and prepare to handle craving or triggers so they don't sneak up on me. My mantra for those difficult times is "there is NO 1 drink". For me there never has been and never will be. I know I will end up in trouble if I take that first drink so it's kind of a load off not having to wonder anymore if I can pull of moderating my drinking. I can't so there's no first drink. Pretty simple.
this is what we alcoholics do. until we have a spiritual awakening (a psychic change) we will continue to do this. we have a physical craving that kicks in after we put in the first drink and the obsession piece that forces us to drink when we don't want to and being restless irritable and discontent while not drinking. All these together or symptoms of chronic alcoholism.
Unfortunately I have really bad news. I went to a dinner party last night and everyone was drinking. After being offered several drinks I gave in and decided i'd just have one, which lead to about 10 or more. I'm really disappointed in myself, I lost control and said some things that I really wish I could take back. I'm such a failure.
Hi Shanner and welcome to the AHC support site and congrats on taking the first step to getting the help you need.
You can start trying to learn the ways to say "no thanks". There's no law that says you have to drink when others are. And you don't have to take a drink that's been handed to you. Saying no, especially the first time can be quite tough. It helps to practice. You might want to say that you feel better or you get along with people better when you don't drink.
Make your best effort to stay away from anyone who gives you a hard time about not drinking.
Check back soon and let us know how you are doing. We're always here to answers your questions, support you and provide you with feedback.
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