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Day 1 - Admitting to Myself

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

jewlz,

Thanks for lending some support! It really helps others to see that they are not alone. Congratulations on making some goals and reaching them. Your really working towards a goal for yourself and you are doing it!

Keep us updated and share with us!

Awesome!

Josie, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Hi Kitten and welcome to the forum. I hope you are doing well!

As for me, I am doing well. I haven't had a drink in 2 weeks now. I only slipped that one night I wrote of before, when my husband went out and I was home alone with no power, otherwise it would be 3 weeks. It's really good to know that I can quit if I really put my mind to it. I have spent a couple of nights home alone since and haven't felt the urge to drink at all. My relationship with my husband it perfect, although I must admit, we've had some pretty boring Friday and Saturday nights the last couple of weekends... We don't really have any friends that don't drink.

I attended one-on-one counseling once, but I didn't really like it. It was my first time ever seeing a counselor/therapist and it just felt weird, like I didn't belong there. Reading stories and forums online give me all the motivation I need. I have also picked up the book "Take Control of your Drinking, and you may not have to quit" by Michael Levy and it's a great read. Although I want to still go a while without drinking at all, I do see it in my future at special occasions in a controlled quantity.

Jewlz

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 37

Hello J (sorry useless with names but your the lady who wrote the same post)

Im trying to do this thing "solo" too, im writing a blog and im going to come on here everyday - boy are you guys going to get fed up with me!

ive lied so badly to my partner, last night was my final time it has to be, the promises i have made - i just shudder.

Im not ready to talk about what i have done just yet but i am going to, all i will say is that i have lied terribly, been a total idiot and feel very very ashamed.

but i am not going to let myself down anymore, even though my boyfriend can be really quite mean to me - the answer is not at the bottom of a bottle of red - the answer is my head and my heart.

I guess i wish you the best of luck, and funny how so many of us seem to be in our 30's i guess we wake up at this age!

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11214

Thank you for sharing this foxman.

Members, what does this passage mean to you? What are your thoughts?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1562

This is what Echkart Tolle says about SELF:

If you cannot be at ease with yourself when you are alone, you will seek a relationship to cover up your unease. You can be sure that the unease will then reappear in some other form within the relationship, and you will probably hold your partner responsible for it.All you really need to do is accept this moment fully. You are then at ease in the here and now and at ease with yourself. But do you need to have a relationship with yourself at all? Why can't you just be yourself? When you have a relationship with yourself, you have split yourself into two: "I" and "myself," subject and object. That mind-created duality is the root cause of all unnecessary complexity, of all problems and conflict in your life. In the state of enlightenment, you are yourself - "you' and "yourself" merge into one. You do not judge yourself, you do not feel sorry for yourself, you are not proud of yourself, you do not love yourself, you do not hate yourself, and so on. The split caused by self reflective consciousness is healed, its curse removed.

For more read Power of now or A new Earth.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Great question jewlz.

Your feelings are completely understood, and it is also understandable that you would not want to spend your nights alone.

Do you have any hobbies? Do you often spend time with your friends? Would it help if you made plans for one night a week to visit a friend or to play a sport (organized sports, leisure league) or to volunteer someone meaningful?

Members, what are your suggestions? How do you avoid feeling lonely?

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

I found my weakness.

I was sober for 8 days and doing really well. My relationship with my husband was awesome. But then... he went to play golf last night after work. I don't do well alone. I spend all day at work alone, the last thing I want at night is to be alone. And then to boot, the power went out. I really don't want him to have to come home every night to keep me sober... what's the solution here?

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 955

jewlz,

It is great to hear that you were able to talk to your partner about plans and goals for yourself. Although it may take your husband some time to understand what you are experiencing, it is important that he is there is support you whenever he can. You have conquered a huge hurdle by seeking help and talking to your husband about these issues. Although there may be more barriers along the way, you have succeeded so far!

Stay close to the boards and post as often as you can jewlz. We are here for you whenever you need us!

Sarah, Health Educator

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11

Hubby has been very distant since I lied to him last week when I said I wasn't drinking when I was. Trying to go through this alone is way too hard, so I told him this morning that I have an appointment today with a counselor and that I needed his help to get through this. He was more upset that I lied to him, then the actual drinking itself. Says he'll work on the trust issue, but he's definitely there to support me and was very happy that I initiated the help. Then I got a hug... it's been a week! Phew... that stepping stone is out of the way.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi Jewlz,

You are right - you have a lot of life to live and enjoy!

Congrats on 2 days sober so far! Please browse through the program - your toolbox introduces certain topics that may be helpful for you in dealing with the challenges of drinking during the weekends. Please work through the sessions, especially the one entitled "Dealing with Difficulties" which offers concepts and ideas on working through temptations and other triggers.

Keep us posted on how you are doing and good luck with the counsellor!

Faryal, Health Educator

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Day 1 - Admitting to Myself