If I had a nickel for every time I heard that pijak. I am going to give you a little more information so you can make a decision with some more facts. You don't need to be a "God" person to be part of AA. You can use any higher power you choose - many choose the AA group itself to be their higher power or a god of an other faith. A couple program friends of mine are non believers.
I too was raised Catholic and I left the church as well. Alcoholism is a disease - I don't buy into this choice thing totally. We are the best people our active disease lets us be. If you would like to read about the disease concept type THIQ into google - that might give you some reassurance. We do choose to drink but I find that for many of us we can't chose not to BY OURSELF. But with help it is possible. You can choose to accept help and make this low point in your life change. In fact after some time you may discover that recovery can be a very rewarding path.
You are the way you are because its part of you like its a part of me. You did nothing wrong - you aren't being punished. A person with cancer doesn't deserve it - it just is. To a point we do choose to drink because we thought it was normal and our mind trick us to think that its not a problem.
I haven't met an admitted alcoholic yet that could learn to moderate - Again read about THIQ research and the why is explained. However I think some heavy drinkers can decide to moderate. The question is which one of these are you?
I KNOW YOU ARE A GOOD PERSON and I would like to learn more about you. So take some time and tell me if you care to.
Hang in there - this fight is worth it.
I encourage you to not rule out AA as an option until you have at least tryed a couple meetings at different groups. Don't sweat the GOD part when you hear it for now just think....
G ood
O rderly
D irection
RICK H