Thanks Still here. I volunteered in a beer garden for my swim club. It was like being in a smoking bar. It was outside and I could smell the smoke just wafting about. UUUUGGGHHHH. I was also incredialbly proud of myself I just did my job and kept going. Being by the smoke did the opposite of having me wanting, it really confirmed how resolute I am in not smoking. Tired Thank you Kiwi, Rob, Lady Shevie I appreciate the responses. I guess I just really am not up for any kind of debate, it just seems to tire me. Bottom line no smoking, glad my sense of smell is so accute, I can smell the best cologne which is very nice, at the same time smell all sorts of ughy things and I am glad I can smell. Kind of like glad to be alive pleasurable and not so pleasurable all at once. Yet ultimately glad to be alive! Not smoking! Hooray Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 128 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,561 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $960 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 47 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55

Lady Thank you! I do believe and I very much believe in looking for guidance counsel, from a higher spitirt. AND I thank you. I do feel better and I am very tired. What I have to do at this time is physically demanding and exhausting and I am tired. I am growing more and more resolute in my quit by the day. I feel my strength growing and I thatnk you for including me in your praters, thoughts and your circle of consciousness. Blessings, Back to the paint shop and I will be done in days!! :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 128 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,573 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $960 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 23 [B]Mins:[/B] 14 [B]Seconds:[/B] 57

Doing stuff where I would have smoked ... a lot!!!!????? AND I am so proud of myself I have not smoked, I have thought about it, I have hungered for it and I have not. I have been resolute. I have had to treat myself extra special, I have orange juice, I have water, I have good food, I have fresh air flown in and I know that I can just literally turn tail and run. I mean stop the work I have to do, treat myself nice and tell myself firmly and with sometimes a lot of passion that I will not smoke and I will get through. There are only a few more days of this and then I move to the next stage of this move and I think it will be easier. I must say even though I am dead tired, I am smiling because, I have kept my word to myself, kept my agreement, found whatever strength I need and simply bulldozed through. Cheers Goodnight Hope you are all well, Stay Strong I know without a shadow of a doubt that if I can do this no smoking thing that any of you can too. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 129 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,599 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $967.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 18 [B]Seconds:[/B] 37

And thanks for noticing I do feel better. :8o: [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 130 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,607 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $975 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 10

Alison I live in downtown toronto and my office is in the very core it has a huge patio with lovely windows that open and I would love to have fresh air from the north, the praries some other cleaner place flown in...... [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 130 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,607 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $975 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 21 [B]Hrs:[/B] 5 [B]Mins:[/B] 50 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

Off to work Lady if by some chance you read this I know that you have the power. I have seen you, your determination and your will. Ihope for you that you find it. My heart is with you. Looking down the road and glad you are there with me. Phillip [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 125 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,514 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $937.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 22

So off I went early this am to be assessed and I got so much from just one meeting. There was the assesment which really meant nothing and then there was a one hour thirty minute talk with a counsellor who specializes in nicotine, nothing but. WoW I got a lot. Food stuff and how hunger for me and wanting to smoke, you knoiw the "thing" fell very similar, stress and where I thought I had little stress I have some and what I do with it, breaks what am I doing now for breaks that is different than when I took a smoke for a break, past issues: the stuff that was going on in my life as a thirteen year old that ensured I would smoke. Finally I got a huge wonderful piece of validation, validation for the duration and for the way that I have done this, I am pleased and so joyful right now and I would really like to share that pleasure here. It is my honour and my privelege to have shared this journey with you. Now, please none of you to take this personal and none of you to get that this has anything to do with anything but me, so there, disclaimer done. Please take what you wish and please leave the rest. We each have different methods to get to where we want to be and for me I found some extra strength this morning to move on. The discovery this morning that I have been the power, that I have been the source of strength in this quit was so huge for me that it has given me more power and more strength to move on and move on in a successful and determined manner. I feel the power and freedom and a huge sense of self worth in managing and maintaining this quit for the time that I have. Rediscovering this strength has me feel even more determined than I have been since the start. No giving over to drugs or replacements or food or any being or entity or any other external mood elevator. To realize that I have not given over my power and that I have "owned" my power I have regained the ability and strength to do this from within. I have had and I have generated the strength from within to accompliah all that I have in my four month period of time. Struggle yes, I don't really know any other way, and to know that I have the power to get through is a huge resource, the duration of my quit is an example. WOW. If I can do this any one can. If I can find the st

MMMMMMMM \ Tuckered right out it has been a long day. Ughhhhh stress, ughhhh. Did I get that clearly, I hate stress. I hate worry and it was one of the times I would be most likely to smoke. and now ... I just got to get through. I don't feel demoralized really I am just tired and the next week is going to be stressy and thus difficult. Sorry I don't have a whole lot to give here. Have a nice camp fire I am going to go snooze over by the lake. ZZZZZZZZ [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 126 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,536 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $945 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 20 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 57 [B]Seconds:[/B] 49

MMMMMM I am on a break, the middle of the day and I get to go back to work and then I am doing a volunteer stint from 4:30 until 11:00 tonight and then I am getting the new office preped for paint and actually starting the painting tomorrow. I am stressed. I feel crudy about coming here and not feeling lively enough to join in the festivities. I imagine that this will come back and it is all really a part of the stress that I am in over work and the move. Oh well, I know I am not going to smoke so that makes the world better for me. I know that looking at my commitmnet and looking at what I have accomplished will help me move forward. Sorry I don't feel very humourous or very inspired or inspirational, it all just seems down. I know that that is out of balance and I am struggling to rebalance, get back to the surface where it really is all okay. I really get that there ways and means of doing this: (using the stop smoking centre and being a supportive quitter and being a successful member of this site) that I can't be in and I will not do, the personal contact stuff is beyond me, that I won't spend the time to put in a lot of pretty pictures, beyond me, that I don't want to IM, beyond me, getting the sideways snipes, beyond me. Oh well I can only know what works for me and work exactly what works and be done with it. I will say it like it is and that is about as much as I can do. Perhaps the best thing for me to do is stay completely away from any knid of discussion, cause 99 percent of the time I just fell put down, totally misunderstood and just plain bad so why bother. I really sorly wish I could just hide out, sleep for a week and it would all be done ..... I know I would like to believe in fairy tales and it just ain't going to happen that way. For the past several weeks I have felt this and I don't know if it is me, what I post, what I read here, the negativity that I feel, how I really feel or what I really do think, what I am willing to trust is that I am not up to this ... right now. What works is to take a break and be done with it. Why that scares me I don't know because I know that I can find new and other support outside. BLAGH Phillip :( [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/17/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 127 [B]Cig

wonderful, Phillip. Thanks for sharing. keep fightin' the good fight - fish