Another soliloquy from lil ol Me.
I am in a rambling creative mood, so please bear with me.
I am approaching now 50 days of being smoke free, and simultaneously working on day 5 of a radical new diet and exercise program.
Looking back, I am amazed at how far I've come, and how easy it was.
Looking at the present - I am finding myself empowered to deal with these current cravings and obstacles to my diet and exercise and staying smoke-free.
Looking forward - I am hopeful, yet still realizing I need everyone here to make it "stick".
It is amazing to me just how powerful a thing addiction is. I'm instantly reminded of the last big post I made, and how I commented that while writing it, I had a big craving for a smoke! Holy bejeebus that's crazy.
For any of you that are just starting on this journey, or are thinking about it...
DO IT. Seriously - just stop thinking and DO IT.
I was nothing short of terrified about quitting smoking. Tell me if this sounds familiar:
"I really want to quit, I just know I'm not in the right frame of mind right now."
"Yeah, I've been thinking about quitting. I have too much going on now to emotionally be ready for it."
"Quitting? Absolutely, I've been gearing myself up for it. I need to be mentally prepared."
Those were my thoughts and answers to myself for years.
Those were lies.
I was TERRIFIED of quitting smoking. Why was I terrified? I was afraid I would fail. I was afraid it would suck. I was afraid it would be so hard. I was afraid it would be more than I could handle.
I was an addict.
I was lying to myself.
Make no mistake - the DECISION to quit smoking is H-U-G-E. It is very, very scary. It is a Gi-normous Monster that you are having to face.
I made the analogy before and it's still very appropriate for me - The decision to quit smoking is very much like rappelling and taking that first step over the edge of the cliff. It's so big, you can't see where you are going, and you can't see the bottom. You are just having to trust in your ropes, your harness, and your buddy.
The amazing thing though - is that once you MAKE that choice, once you commit - it's nothing near as scary as you thought.
That big Gi-normous monster suddenly looks like a much more manageable thing.