Well, this road is very familiar to me, and I can't say without a tear in my eye, how badly I want to quit this time.
Let me blurb my story... 4 years ago, I quit, and stayed quit until 2 yrs had passed, I figured I was safe, that only one puff wouldn't hurt, well that one puff turned into a pack a day very quickly. Then I became selfish, and nothing would come in between me and my cigarette, I started to see myself as everyone else did, alone, with only nicodemon sitting on my shoulder, trying to justify his existence.
I had gained considerable amount of weight the last time I quit, and when I started back, lost some of it, so there was justification number one. My second justification was I am depressed, cigarettes really help me calm down. It is funny if you think about how you can justify just about anything if you really want to.
So back in November at my heaviest 210lbs, I began to diet with the help of a diet coach, and have lost 30 lbs. I vowed at that I would quit when I hit the 30 lb mark. Well last wednesday I weighed in at 30.5 lbs lost, I held true to my vow.
I prepared myself, got a few 'healthy' snacks, and here I am at day 3, and must say nothing significant has happened yet. I did wake up the other night craving, but I have a bottle of water by my bed, so that I didn't have toget out of bed and dwell on it.
I hope that this time, all my practice quits, will come in handy, I know why I shouldn't smoke, I know why I want to quit. Now I just need help to keep that little demon out of my head :)
So yes, I'm back, and Yes I'm needy, and Yes I am not afraid to ask for help, I will apologize now for my rants...cause I do tend to go on and on.
Thanks in advance for the support.
Jan
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Quit Meter
$24,344.25
Amount Saved
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Quit Meter
Days: 653
Hours: 16
Minutes: 27
Seconds: 12
Life Gained
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Quit Meter
4637
Smoke Free Days
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Quit Meter
69,555
Cigarettes Not Smoked
