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The best thing my friend did was say I couldn't do it


18 years ago 0 519 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
It doesn't have to be smoking. It could be drinking or overeating or anything. It has to do with validation. As long as you were smoking, you were supporting and validating her behavior. She's taking your not smoking as a personal attack, telling her that her behavior is wrong. Naturally this is all pretty silly. It is just the way it works. This is the same thing as overweight people do to one another in sabotaging diets. For yourself, you are probably better off because she will undoubtably have tried to get you to smoke so you can share this experience again.
18 years ago 0 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
We were great "smoking buddies" - have worked in the same office for years, went out at every break and lunchhour to sit in the sun (or wind or rain!) and have our smokes together. When I told her I was going to stop her first words (after rolling her eyes) were "I bet you can't do it. You'll be back out here within a week." She then proceeded to tell me why she loved smoking and would never stop. I didn't say much back to her but felt my resolve strengthening. I am now on day 3 (someone tell me how to set my quit metre properly - somehow I did it when I logged onto this site but don't know how to change it!). She is ignoring me now - won't answer my emails and has made a new "smoking buddy". I feel sad for her - she feels sad for me. I want to stay on this quit so bad - not to prove her wrong but to show her it can be done. Am feeling some pretty strong craves but determined to keep on. I hope that one day she will ask me to help her stop and I pledge to be there for her when/if she does. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 0 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 0 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $0 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 0 [B]Seconds:[/B] 0
18 years ago 0 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for the tale Stoppin'. Yeah, let's be stop smoking buddies together. I'm only at day 4 though so I'll be looking for you to lead the way and not slip! You know my "friend" actually offered me a smoke today - I went outside to enjoy the sun on my break (it's been raining here for about a week solid) and she came over to me especially to see if I could be tempted. I sweetly said "No thanks. Don't you remember that I quit?" She just gave me a funny look and tried again!! AAArrrggghhh - you know she's such a nice person in so many ways but her addiction is not one of her best features. Never mind, I don't need her help to stop and in a strange way it makes me stronger ... she would be gutted to think she's helping me stay on my quit ... LOL. And Hoss, sorry, but I don't want to think that smokers are "stinky" or horrible people - I just think they're ordinary people who are making their own choices in life - that's their right just as it is my right to stop. I don't want to become one of those self-righteous ex-smokers and I'm gonna work hard not to. Didn't you hate it when you smoked and you were given grief by non/ex smokers? Didn't it make you just want to light up double and blow it their way even more (or perhaps that's just me ... LOL!) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 2 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 84 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $30 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 7 [B]Seconds:[/B] 48
18 years ago 0 58 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Oh and Lady - I think your "friend" outdid mine - what a charmer but, hey, you are still on your quit and I'd imagine she's still smoking and not feeling great about how she behaved. But, you know, I don't think they mean to be cruel or insensitive (Josie) - what I really think is that they are very, very scared. They are afraid that we will succeed and they will be "left behind". I know my friend is always coughing and wheezing. She knows smoking is killing her. Her first grandson is coming up 4 now and she told me she hates it when he watches her when she smokes but she feels powerless to stop. She has "tried" before but never lasted more than a day and thinks she is a failure and that she can't ever stop. Like I said before, my quit is for me but if (when) I do it I'm hoping she might see that she can do the same. Plus my sister's promised that if I can stop for 3 months, she'll quit as well (she's smoked over 40 a day for nearly 30 years!!!).
18 years ago 0 7 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello I had lots of "buddies" too.... coworkers, roommates etc. ARE they really buddies? I just let them know how they smell to me... Stick with it! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 21 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 984 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $315 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 6 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5
18 years ago 0 682 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I will be your new non-smoking buddy. We can take our breaks together and rejoice in our very wise decision to become carefree and "smellin' good"!!! I told my boss I had quit smoking and he said oh what, 2 hours ago. I said, "Wow aren't you a supportive ex-smoker"! and walked away. My other co-worker said, no she has been quit for 5 days now, aren't you proud! If your ole smoke buddy were to really face things I bet it is jealousy/envy that is motivating her "mean" actions. You just keep up the good work and reach out to me when you need your buddy...see my meter, we are newbies together! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/26/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 7 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 148 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $25.13 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 0 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 17
18 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Lightness.. Congratulations on making it 3 days quit! That is awesome. I too had a couple of smoking buddies at work. They also laughed when I said I was quitting. The girl in my office that I took most of my smoke breaks with, actually stood outside of my office window and blew smoke at it during the first week of my quit. (Now there is a friend you just gotta love). The guy I use to smoke with on occassion kept trying to get me to go back to smoking and still offers me one whenever I see him. My point is...if these were really buddies, wouldn't they be supportive of my quit? I really don't socialize with these people anymore. It's like Joe said....they have their addiction and I have my freedom. The freedom is worth every bit of misery you go through in the beginning. Welcome to the other side of the fence. The grass really is greener over here. :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/1/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 215 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,318 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $752.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 19 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 42 [B]Seconds:[/B] 20
18 years ago 0 563 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
LightnessNZ, Congratulations on your decision to quit and welcome to the SSC. The old saying, Misery Loves Company, is never more true than for smokers. There are people at my office that I used to hang out with. We are still cordial, but we are in different worlds now. They have their addiction and I have my freedom. I'll keep my freedom, thank you very much! :p Quitting smoking is a lifestyle change. It's just a fact of life that your old "smoking buds" won't be your "buds" for much longer.. at least not in the sense of your previous shared time together. I'll bet that she wants to quit and put on the "I love my smokes" speech just to get your goat. Most smokers feel trapped and wallow in self doubt that they can't break their addiction. You have made a very important decision in your life. It is time to move on and make new "non smoking" friends. Let the freedom begin!! Best wishes. [b][color=Purple]Be Strong. Be Smart. Be Quit[/color] [color=black]Joe[/color] [size=3][color=Blue]Knowledge Replaces Fear[/color][/size] [size=2][color=black]Illegitimus non carborundum est[/color][/size][/b] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 5/15/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 262 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 6,573 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $641.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 46 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 15 [B]Seconds:[/B] 54
  • Quit Meter

    $36,343.20

    Amount Saved

  • Quit Meter

    Days: 9771 Hours: 0

    Minutes: 33 Seconds: 16

    Life Gained

  • Quit Meter

    45429

    Smoke Free Days

  • Quit Meter

    363,432

    Cigarettes Not Smoked

18 years ago 0 12049 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Light, Wow! Someone would be that cruel and insensitive. So she loves to abuse her body day by day. You have obviously made the right choice and please stick to it for your reasons and don't try to prove something to someone. Some people just don't see it yet, they may or may not see it eventually either. ( I am sure they will see the oxygen tank they lug around in later years!) Be there for her when she wants to quit, otherwise you keep strong and determined. This is your fight and something tells me you will make it! Keep Strong Josie _____________________ The SSC Support Team.

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