This post is brought to you by a VERY nervous quitter. I will ramble a bit and then sit here very quietly and wait for some tough words to help me get past this rut. I have very strong urges to go and buy a pack of ciggies. I don't know if it is because the "newness" and excitement has worn off, but I seem to have lost my sense of pride in this HUGE accomplishment I have. I will try to explain some of these thoughts and feelings. I seem to be thinking of smoking all the time. My sense of pride has totally deserted me. I am feeling " So what if I smoke?" I see people slipping and sliding on this site so much lately it is making me think "I'm no better than them, I too will "slip" soon." I know that only I am responsible for my quit, but it does affect how strong I feel about my own quit.I have seen many people come and go over these 70 plus days and it makes me sad and scared. I'm not getting all the praise from my family like I did at the start so that also makes it feel not worth the hard work. I will have to ask for more encouragement from them. I have always needed praise from others to make me feel good about myself. Nasty habit I know, but comes with my horrible upbringing, I am working on that. My husband goes away to Houston Texas on Monday for 3 days on business and all ready my evil little mind is saying.. Go ahead and smoke while he is gone. I'm so sad over all these thoughts and feelings. I want to be strong. I have had many failures in my life, I don't want this to be another. I want to be a good role model for my kids. They are so proud of me. They are the BEST of all the good things in my life. I am very emotional right now, so I will stop, but I will not go get cigarettes tonight and I will hope to talk to some of you. Your help has been wonderful. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 73 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,772 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $605.9 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 37 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

Once again I am deeply touched by all the caring people on this site. Sunshine, Thanks for your blessings, they mean alot coming from you. With all your losses you still are caring enough to reach out to others. I am impressed by your strength. ItsIronic, thank you for your good wishes. Rob47, A little guilt does go a long way, always a handy tool when you're a Mum too! I didn't notice any difference when I switched from 21mg to 14mg to 7mg. I was expecting to, but it didn't happen. You'll do great I'm sure. Kaiser, I guess you and I have to let our spouses know when we need a boost in the boasting department! For some reason, even though we have been together forever, my hubby can't yet read my mind! There can still be good times ahead even though the honeymoon is over.There is something very comforting in knowing you can always count on someone. Just like I want to be able to count on being a non-smoker. Jan, you must sleep like the dead if you didn't hear me screaming my head off. Must get you an alarm! lol. You'll have to ask Lady first to borrow that broom as she has been very busy with it lately keeping us all in line. There must be something in this almost spring air that is affecting our common sense. Oh Well, we are all still here to tell the tale so that's the main thing. Thanks for rolling out of bed to give me a chuckle. You're a great asset to this site and my quit. NSA girl, you're right, we have to focus on just how huge this accomplishment is. We have worked to hard to start again. Cincere, I am really looking forward to the day when I can say I won. I imagine there must be such a sense of peace to finally be totally free of this weight I have had on my shoulders for all these years. I want to get to that place. I WILL. Chris, I do feel better today because of all the great people, advice and my own determination. Thanks. Groovekitty, Screaming meemies is a great phrase! I will hang tight, I want to get to the beach and get loaded. lol. You will get there ahead of me so make sure to save me a good spot. Close enough to the water to dig my toes in the sand. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:

Thanks Kaiser, such sweet words. How long have you been off the patch? 2 1/2 weeks for me. Tell me more how you are feeling. Have you also lost the "honeymoon" period feeling of your quit? Read some of the posts that Lady and ladybugg bumped for me, they are very helpful. Hang in there we WILL get through this slump. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,789 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $614.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 17 [B]Seconds:[/B] 19

Thanks Phillip, HealerWithin, Stargazer, ExRoller and Rob47 for your replies and encoraging words. You have all been very helpful to me. Rob47, your post made me laugh. You certainly hit on one of my weaknesses, not letting people down. I will keep all of your words in mind. I had a good morning. The sun was shining and I didn't buy cigarettes!! Another point for the good guys!!!(or gals). I will continue to plod along on this journey and hopefully soon will have a spring in my quit step once again. Thanks again to everyone who came to my rescue. With all the turmoil and sadness in the world it is really inspiring to see that there is also much kindness and compassion. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,788 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $614.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 11 [B]Seconds:[/B] 1

Hi polly, nice to hear from you. How are you doing, great I hope? You are so right about families and their praise. I talked to my hubby about my struggles last night. He told me that my kids are always telling him and others how proud of me they are. I guess I have been the "middle woman" lately, only hearing it 2nd hand. He said they will all be more supportive again while I am feeling weak. My mom-in-law still rarely mentions it as she smokes and I think she is jealous. She only ever asks how much weight have I gained. Kind of sneaky and mean I know, but I understand her feelings and love her anyway. Hi 4my2girls, I'm glad you are doing well also. 11 days is great. I don't know if I could look at those pics. right now. Maybe when I am further along in my quit. I think they would cause me worry of my own lungs, though the difference in my lung capacity has improved greatly. No more huffin' and puffin' up the stairs for me. And I have alot of them in my house. I sound so much younger in my breathing. No more moaning and groaning when I get out of a chair. Why and when do we start doing that anyway? Well I'll stop my rambles now and say Keep Strong. :)[color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 74 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,790 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $614.2 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 6 [B]Mins:[/B] 23 [B]Seconds:[/B] 34

Thanks Echo, your attempts to keep me "clean", weren't so desperate. I am so "clean" I sparkle.lol. And yes, I have my Mentos. I really should buy stock in that company! Jess, good to hear from you, I'm glad you're checking in. Are you gonna come back to us soon? We miss you. I hope you feel strong enough to try again soon. The next time WILL be the one! Kaiser, Things are great for me. I just dropped my hubby off at the airport. He's off to Houston, Texas. Lucky him! While The Cat's Away, This Mouse Will Not Play!! Sorry Nicodemon, you're on your own. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [IMG]http://i37.photobucket.com/albums/e58/saggysac/Angels_teu25.gif[/IMG] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 78 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,880 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $647.4 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 15 [B]Mins:[/B] 9 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33

Hi Elle, First off congrats on your 18 day quit. You are so right when you say it is far better to post than to give in to your craves, you WILL feel like @*%$ if you give in. To everyone who for one reason or other is afraid to reach out and post when they are feeling weak, please do. It really will make the difference in your quit. There is always someone here who will extend a hand and advice to you. Keep Strong, [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 76 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,838 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $630.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 3 [B]Seconds:[/B] 5

phreaknbz and Hyriel1 Thanks for your responses. phreaknbz I am feeling much more solid in my quit again. I'll tell ya, you really can't let your guard down because your feelings really get banged around on this journey. Lots of new emotions to sort through and maybe some old ones to get rid of. I am almost 43 also and I hear you on the wrinkles! We really should have stopped smoking before they had a chance to make themselves comfortable on our faces right? ;p Yes, on with our quits!! Onward!!! Hyriel1, Thanks for your kind words, and congrats on your decision to have a smoke-free life. Hang Tough, you CAN do this. [color=Red]redrosie[/color] [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 79 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,913 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $655.7 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 18 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 27

redrose.im sorry i was in bed fast asleep while you were screaming your head off for help! this bloody time thing is sh***! im so sorry your got the bla's to ,but look how much stronger you are than me! just to let you know if you do think of trotting out to the shop to get you know wots ,i am out side hideing on your porch with ladys broom.waiting to bat you aside the head!!lol i know how bad it gets red,funny come to think of it its only 2 1/2 weeks since i stoped the gum!!!!????? i guess we have to go threw a bit of cold turkey stuff befor we can walk in the sunshine again. keep your head up girl.we are very proud of you. jan xxxxx

The patch idea is a tough call and perhaps you should check with your dr first. If you can hang on a bit longer until the crave passes it's better in that the cravings become weaker and happen less often. If you smply have to wear a patch to get through this, well, IMO it's better than smoking but common sense tells you reintroducing nicotine into your system isn't a good idea. This too well pass and is probably your last kill me now crave. It really does get easier and you don't want to miss the beach :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 7/23/2005 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 235 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 4,718 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $1175 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 31 [B]Hrs:[/B] 2 [B]Mins:[/B] 45 [B]Seconds:[/B] 33