i went to a family wedding yesterday
ive never seen so many people smokin in such a small space in my life!
i was in and out ,breathing so much i nearly went hyper!!
hubby gave in as soon as we got there!! hes c/t and didnt have anything to fall back on.he tried to fall on me but i missed him!!
it took 7 hours of being in there and hubby went to the loo and left a cig burning in the ashtray.there was no one around and i sat there staring at it burning away .i wanted it soooooooo much to feel that old freind soothing my nervous state.i picked it up and put it to my lips.....started to suck the pouison[sp?]into my throught......oh my god that is disgusting!!!!!!!!!!droped it onto my lap!stood up quick and knocked the table 2ft over the floor!!!good job it was dark and busy!!scrambled to put the table back and put the cig back in the ashtray he new nothing!! im coughing choking my lips are tasteing horrid ,how did we start doing this????????.
i know that being out of routean is a bad place for me and i have nothing planed for the future as yet but i know iv,e got to learn how to cope a lot better.it was only 1 puff for me to send me scurrying back so im not going to kick myself over it ,it just proved to me that i really cant do it any more but i do need to stop the romancing thing that i have going on.i could have not said anything to you all about 1 puff but i dont lie very well and as me good freind g/man joe would say "are you an honest quitter?" yes i am joe!!!come over and slap me bum!! :p im still heading for the beach i hope no one will hold it against me ,im not!
love you all jan xxxxx
[B]My Milage:[/B]
[B]My Quit Date: [/B] 10/13/2005
[B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 94
[B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 2,364
[B]Amount Saved:[/B] �371.3
[B]Life Gained:[/B]
[B]Days:[/B] 9 [B]Hrs:[/B] 4 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 23