Hi, I'm Nicola, 29 and from the UK. I've suffered with anxiety and depression officially for the past few years, I say officially because this is when it was diagnosed, but to be truthful I don't think I've ever felt any different to the way I feel now. I started taking Zoloft about a year ago, Citalopram before that, and all it seems to have made me do is binge eat. The way I look makes me depressed but I can not get control over my eating habits. I want to come off the medication but worry that the panic/anxiety attacks will come back. I went onto medication after I had a panic attack in a public place about 3 years ago.
I'm constantly seeking approval from my friends, colleagues and in particular men. I am in a relationship but I can't say I'm 100% happy but I'm scared to leave because I don't want to be alone. I spoke to my partner about it because I am always questioning my existence. I don't believe that this is what life is, but he tells me I'm wrong and this is how it should be, which to me is very depressing in its self. Work, come home, do nothing, bed and then work again, too tired on a weekend to do anything. Too tired because I am constantly judging myself and emotionally beating myself up about the way I am, the way I look, what I say, what other people must think when they see me, basically every breath I take. I've had enough but I can't break this cycle, I have been trying for over a year and it's good for a day or two followed by weeks and weeks of binge eating and misery. Can someone out there please help me? Please help me to get my motivation back?
