NullPointer, It's quite possible. For some, depression begins in adolescence. So happy to see you taking those great first steps! Keep it up! Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist

Hi folks (and Casey)! Doc thinks I have chronic depression he thinks it's major too and has some hereditary link. The more we discuss this and the more I think about it, I think that it's been going on so long that I don't even know what "normal" is. I think of some of my behavior patterns 20, even 30 years ago and I say to my self, "Gosh, I sure did act like I was depressed that time & that time & that time, etc." So WolfSong, if this is actually possible, then I'd say 7 years isn't too bad. What's a bit discouraging to me is that I've only been diagnosed for about 7 years and it's really been an up and down struggle trying all these different medications and sometimes I've gotten some better for a while & then I quit them and get really bad again or I just run out of money and I can't buy it any more. I saw a counselor for a while but then my insurance changed and I had to stop going. The Effexor XR seems to be working pretty well for me right now. I hope it keeps up too because I think I might be getting close to feeling normal. I mean I can actually go a couple days without crying, I can actually do work and earn money, and I've even ventured out and actually talked to some people. So, Casey, do you really think that it might be possible to have been depressed for two or three decades?

Hi guys... Let me go over my first post one more time since I wasn't exactly in the best frame when writting it. I've suffered from MDD for about 7 years. It's sprinkled with dissociative disorder and Anxiety disorder. It brings about unhealthy bouts of paranoia and detachment from reality. Up until 6 months ago, I was taking Venlafaxine (Effexor) which did a nice job of managing all my symptoms. I thought that after 6 and a half years of pill popping, I had a handle on it and stopped slowly with doctor's monitoring. Not so much. As I said in my first post, it came back like a Tidal Bore. My doctor's appointment is not until mid-december due to availability (his and mine). I'm holding on but some days, I feel like the Big black Dog is winning.

Wolfsong, I just want to tell you that I've been taking prescribed SSRIs for almost 20 years now and my crashes into MDD have been very few of real note. Before that I could spend weeks in my apartment trying to force sleep just to get away from my mind and all the inadequacy feelings and the mild paranoia and the self-destructive desire to take booze or drugs to try to blanket the mess so that I wouldn't have to look at it at all. That only led me to rehab - and a very lucky and good day that was for me! I started on SSRIs and within four weeks I was seeing over the dungheap I had for a life. I started to sort-out my mess of a life and head into the positive things that I felt so despairing of when I was in the Abyss/Black Hole. It may not be the answer for everyone but it was the mind-brace that I needed and still need to live a less damaging life, to go outward rather than inward, to look for relative joy and moments of happiness; I take note of the little things that please me now with the help of the meds. I have tried before to drop the the pills and it hasn't worked for me. I'm not looking for a "cure", what I am looking for is the beauty of the "now" in my life. Hazel is right, it's a chemical imbalance. People who say glibly that they've also "experienced" depression and "what's the big deal?" don't understand that they are wrong to compare MDD to a fit of the Blues. There's a big difference between being a latter-day Blind Lemon Jefferson who's got the Blues and only wants a "pallet on the floor" to you or I who is staring down the neck of the Big Black Dog for days and weeks at a time... take the meds and do as Hazel says, find yourself a talk-therapist who is capable of empathy and who will show you how in-error your thinking is sometimes... Keep talking to us

Hi In regards to your question about whether it ever ends I can tell you that it often doesn't... Depression is often a chemical imbalance in your brain. I have been on meds for 8 yrs and recently have falled into a major depression again (the meds have been keeping things stable for years). My meds have increased and I am back in therapy again .... It is very frustrating to feel like you have failed but I am trying really hard to remember that Depression is a medical condition.... I don't choose to be depressed and if I was diabetic I would take insulin daily so what is the problem with having to take SSRI's indefinately? Hang in there ...you are not alone (I am hanging on with my fingernails) ...

Hi Wolf Song, Unfortunately depression is often a chronic, relapsing illness. That means that once you've had one depressive episode, you may have more. Many people find that their depression gets better at some times, and worse at others. If a person gets treatment and appears to have largely overcome the problem, later on it can worsen again for no apparent reason. A recurrence should NOT cause you to despair or to think of yourself as a "treatment failure." A recurrence can be treated just as effectively as an initial episode. However, you have to get the help you need. In fact, the skills that a person learns in dealing with the initial episode can be helpful in coping with setbacks and recurrences. Many people who have overcome more than one depressive episode find that while they still have depressive episodes, they become much better at dealing with them. So even though their depression is not fully cured, it no longer controls their lives or the lives of those around them. The good news is that there are many effective treatments available. In fact, over 80 % of people with depression are eventually able to manage their depression with proper therapy or a combination of therapies. Many feel much better just weeks after starting treatment. Treatment for depression often involves medication, psychotherapy, or a combination of medication and psychotherapy. If you have not already done so, be sure to check out our free online program. The Depression Center offers personalized, interactive tools that have helped thousands of people challenge and overcome their depression. The core of the Depression Center is our Depression Program which is an interactive, 16-session cognitive behavioral therapy (CBT)course. When using cognitive behavioral therapy, each person has unique goals in their treatment. Whatever your motivation, cognitive behavioral therapy is a very effective treatment for depression. You can use the tools whether or not you are taking medication, and whether or not you are currently seeing a therapist or mental health professional. Casey ______________________________ The DC Support Team

Does it ever end????

I was depressed for almost 7 years and with the help of meds, I thought I had finally gotten past everything. A yeas ago, I stopped my meds with the advice of my doctor. About a month and a half ago, everything came back with a vengeance. Crying for no reason, panicking over what amounts to nothing, the fear of people talking behind my back, Sad because I am angry, angry because I feel helpless and the entire thing makes me even more depressed. The worst part is now I am afraid that with this "Relapse" that I'll never be cured...