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Changing to a new therapist I haven´t met, and I´m already unhappy.

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Changing to a new therapist I haven´t met, and I´m already unhappy.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 44

Hi there,

If I can offer some advice. You owe it to yourself to find a great therapist. It took me a while to find one and I am glad that I was persistant. I found a great one and I am so happy. It has made such a difference.

Good Luck.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 538

Hi Stewed,

I'm sorry you had such a bad experience with this counsellor. But please don't let it stop you from finding some therapy.

If you are bothered by the fact that it is a man, is there any chance you could find a female counsellor? I personally don't think that is unreasonable as some of your core beliefs may have to do with either one of the sexes.

I'm also glad to hear that your husband is backing you up on this, and a little curious about your statement that he often blames you for mistakes....

When I first moved to where I am now I went to our local Military Resourse Center....I saw the Social Worker there once...she was a nice young woman, but I knew tons more about anxiety than she does, so when she asked me if I wanted to see her again I said I'd get back to her. Ofcourse I never did.

For me, even though I live in BC like Davit I have to pay for therapy ( I asked my doctor) and at around 40-50$ each time after insurance I can't afford that now..with 2 sons in college...but if I could, boy oh boy I would make sure that we were compatible and that they were there for me!

Good luck with it, Keep posting,

Juanita

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1665

Hi Stewed: I would call back and leave a message if I had to, re: can't do Thursdays, only Mondays. See how he addresses that, politeness, etc. If I liked the answer, I think I would try it one more time with this therapist - trying to keep an open mind remembering how anxious I was the first time and maybe that coloured it a bit. (just guessing here). Then, if it didn't feel right, I would find someone else. It might take a couple of visits before you can trust anyone. Just suggestions.

Sunny

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 122

Hi Stewed,

I just wanted to say that I agree with davit, I would not use this person

again, First of all it took alot of courage for you to seek out someone

to help you with your anxiety, and this man making you feel upset and

uncomfortable about something that commonly happens to people( getting times mixed up)

does not sound like you would feel comfortable opening up to this

person. If it was me I would find someone else that I felt at ease with.

In the mean time keep working on the program and your other books. as

you want to feel empowered so that you can overcome you anxiety.

My best to all.

sweatbee

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 356

I would not see him again if it were me.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12049

Wise words from Davit.

Your are looking for assistance and this was a bad experience for you, if you can move forward and start fresh with the new appointment , then do so. This has to be a comfortable and safe setting for you. If you harbour bad feelings and negativity toward this doctor, you may need to make a change.

Josie, Health Educator

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Stewed

You know I can not recommend anything. But I can put a me spin on it. I know therapists, that is plural. I was 20 minutes late for my appointment. Tracy asked if I forgot or was some where else. I said I wrote down 3:30 but I just checked and it was 3:00. These things happen. She said well we still have a half hour. We used that half hour constructively. She asked me if the day she picked was okay. She said I could Email her office if we missed anything. Now she might be the exception as far as therapists go. But if your therapist treated me like that I would drop him. I would not allow any one to treat me like that. He should know what you are going through and treat you with compassion and respect. I can not tell you what to do but my opinion is that he will do you more harm than good. But this is just my opinion and the decision is up to you and your husband. Curing panic is hard enough without stumbling blocks.

Therapy where I live is free, but even so I still would find some one else if I was not comfortable.

Here for you.

Davit

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 14

I'm trying to sort out some of my feelings with a new counsellor I was supposed to meet this Monday. I got to the place early and spent almost an hour working through a CBT and Self Esteem book that I bought. I headed into this quiet house which has been converted to a mental health facility. First off, I was nervous being out at night by myself. Then, I was nervous because this was a new therapist and a man. I ducked in to use the washroom before the therapy and this man followed be out to the lobby. It turns out he was the therapist. He told me I was almost forty minutes late for my appointment. I was so embarrassed and totally apologetic. I was also fuming with anger since I was pretty sure he had written the time down wrong. I squashed the anger I was feeling and apologized profusely which made me feel ingenuine, to say the least.

The therapist said I could come into his office for "a quickie" -- his words, not mine -- which made me feel uncomfortable, and when we sat down he basically just pulled up his calendar to book the next appointment. Then I left cursing myself and him and relieved that I didn't have to talk to him. I went home and checked my notes -- they all said seven. I remember asking him twice on the phone what time and date because my thinking is fuzzy sometimes. My husband even said I had said seven consistently (and he often blames me for mistakes so that was surprising to find him backing me up.)

Anyhow, the long and the short of all this detail is that I just received a voice mail message asking if I could change the appointment to next Thursday (I told him Mondays were my only days). Do I drop this guy? Am I being unreasonable? Sometimes it is hard for me to monitor my own thinking and reactions. I am also not sure....did I intentionally mess up the time? And, why am I so bothered and nervous by the fact that it is a man? I just don't know if this is worth the worry it is causing me.

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Changing to a new therapist I haven´t met, and I´m already unhappy.