Anerol: happy to see your post. Was wondering how you were doing. You mention compliments from parents. I think compliments from our parents - since they are our first contact as we grow up - are important. Doesn't have to be a big deal, just little things along the way, encouragements. The compliments would be positive strokes towards self confidence.
Here is where it gets difficult for me, without telling a lot of my background, sometimes it was difficult for me for different reasons. Here goes, I'll give it a try. One of my earliest recollections was this. My siblings were blond and blue eyed. I was the only reddish brown with green eyes. When I was 4-5 or so, my mother took me to a hairdresser and asked to have my hair lightened because - I still remember the words - "afterall, all my children are blond. She is the only one without blond hair" and my mother made an unhappy face which I saw reflected in the mirror. I remember thinking, gee, there's something wrong with me, I'm not like the others and I have to be fixed. It's just a little thing I suppose, but one of the first of many other things to fix me. I grew up thinking I was very ugly and that sure makes you want to hide. I don't have a struggle with that anymore, know that I'm average and I'm o.k. I figure I'm pretty lucky; I"ve got all my limbs, my five senses, and I'm smart enough to learn many things.
When my children were growing up, I made sure to give compliments. It could be how well they did their homework or did on a test to how nice they looked that day. Or how nicely they played with a friend. You know, that sort of thing.
Right now, I am feeling a little anxious about what I've just shared. gotta let it go. I want to delete it. I'm not a whiney type person and do not want to be viewed as one.
