Hi TaraElizabeth,
I really agree with what Trixie says. I too can empathize, and I am scared to death of flying too, but here goes. I have a pretty big anxiety and OCD problem, and am trying to fix it (hence this website.) I used to fly frequently as a child to Europe (that's where my extended family live) and it was never an issue. The last time I went as a child I was 15, and it was after a very traumatic event (my house had burned down 2 days before.) I'm pretty sure that has some bearing on flying for me. The flight was fine, but after that I became afraid of flying, or being away from home or a "safe" place in general. It didn't happen all at once, but gradually over the years.I've always had claustrophobia (elevators, subways, planes etc.)
At 28 (I'm 32), after getting help for my anxiety problem, I went with my husband to Europe. Now, I'm not going to lie and sugarcoat this and say I was fine. I didn't cause a scene on the plane, but it was pretty bad for me. It did NOT help that my husbands first words to me as we boarded the plane was"...it 's pretty small in here!" I was in tears and in full anxiety mode before the flight, but the boarding and take off were the worst parts. I tried to relax, breath etc. and it wasn't working. I was white knuckled and very nervous the entire time. It is very exhausting to fly for 10 hours like this, as I am sure you know. I also found the bathroom as a "safe" place. I only ate the food I brought with me, and didn't have much luck trying to keep my mind busy with crosswords, my fave book or the movies. I didn't look out the window much. I did notice that my anxiety went down after the first couple hours. It helped to track my flight on the TV radar they had in the plane, with a clock on it.
My advice is that even if you're having a full blown panic attack, remeber that it is only anxiety, and that it will pass as time goes on. Once you are flying, that's it. The anticipation (for me, anyways) is the hardest.
I had hit a point of no return...once you take off, there is nothing you can do. I know this sound distressing, but once you accept that, it's OK. You can feel confident that you made a decison. The only good thing I can say is that afterwards my connecting flight from Frankfurt to Munich was only 1 hour, and that was very easy as I was very exhausted and as it came directly after the loooong flight. I was actually relaxed on it. You're flight home will probably seem easier as you took one so recently before.
Remember that there are others who feel as scared as you do. I haven't flown since, but I really want to see my family. I am in the midst of fixing my problem, and the idea of travelling right now freaks me out. I've never taken any medication for this, but I did find that relaxation and breathing excercises are helpful. I told the stewardess that I was very scared of flying; I'm not the first one on a plane to tell them that, I am sure. Also, I brought some things that were comforting to me and that helped too. The take off was the worst part; once flying it was a bit better. The landing was great :)
All I can say is that good for you for going...It takes alot of courage to fly if it scares you, and I know how foolish you probably feel in front of the family. I have many pilots in my in law side of the family, and am pretty reassured that planes are safe. I really hope you have a good flight there and back and that you have a nice trip. All us claustrophobes are rootin for you!
