I feel for you. The things you describe are not easy for anyone to deal with but having anxiety makes it worse - i know from experience how anxiety adds to everything.
This site changed my life and you can benefit from all the tools here too. The site doesn't make bills and demanding children change but it does give you the knowledge so you can practice the skills needed to deal with life without feeling anxious. There is lots of help for you on this site. I will echo others in encouraging you to post as often as you want / need.
In the toolbox you will see a section about assertiveness that might be helpful given the situation you face with your step daughter. I found it helpful. Thought I would pass that along. Davit and others here have lots of wisdom to share with you.
I found out today that our insurance is worse then we first assumed. We are responsible to pay the first $1,500 of any medicals bills that are deemed unnecessary by our insurance. I guess when my husband signed up to this plan through work he failed to read everything. This is a load of crap really. It would be better for me not to have any insurance and just go on over to the free health clinic.
As for my stepdaughter she is finally home from her trip that she took over the holiday. And she is acting like nothing is wrong or happened. It might be selfish of me but I feel as if I am owed an apologize for all the trouble she has caused in the last 2 months. But of course that is too much to ask. And here my husband is apologizing to her all the time.
As for family counseling... I have been asking my husband and I to do this with her for over 5 years. It starts an argument every time I suggest it. He does not want to be told what to do from a professional. And when I suggest that I at least go see one he takes the offensive. Well, I just mentioned it to him again because I told him either I seek out someone else to talk to that is not him or I will just admit myself into the mental hospital where people will talk to me. Because I have no outlet and that is not health.
Today, I will try to keep my mind off this stuff. Not sure how well that is going to work though. I was up half the night with frustration and worry.
Hello KittyMarie: Welcome. Glad to hear from you and hope to hear from you again. Yes, teenagers can be a challenge! Don't give up, they turn out to be awesome adults later, lol. They don't forget the nice things you have taught them. We tried family counseling with one of our teens. Best thing we ever did. We attended two meetings as a family, then the rest of the meetings she went alone.
As for the bill collection, sometimes if you call them and explain they are more understanding. It's the people who don't get in touch and don't pay anything with whom they have trouble. Sometimes they will lower the amt. and allow you to pay a little every month. As long as you contact them to let them know your intentions of paying, they usually are agreeable to better terms. Worth a try (?). Good luck. We are here to share and listen and hold your hand through the hard times. We celebrate the good times too! Keep the faith.
welcome to the group, i am new myself and feel very welcome and at home discussing anything here, nobody will judge you and we are all here to help each other.
What can i say i have a 17 year old daughter myself and somedays they seem to take such great pleasure in pushing every single button you have just to watch you explode, i was getting so worked up and arguing with her all the time and then i began to realise that is exactly what she wants, i now try and put my point across then calm down and ignore her for a while till the situation diffuses just come to the group, read a mag, sit outside whatever you can do to take your mind off it, they really dont give a crap about anyone but them self at that age im convinced, take care of yourself you are the most important person, you are the only one that going to be with you for the rest of your life so be good to you.
As for the bills, i live in Australia so not sure what the rules are over there, but maybe you can contact them and just pay a small amount each week.
How does a dependent child get to use the ER without your permission? Did the parents of the friend lie about there relationship? Is it true that if you send enough money to cover interest and they accept the check they can not send collectors? I'm presuming you are in the states and laws may be different there.
You can have a whole new life here. We as a group and the program can get your anxiety level down to tolerable but if the Diagnosis is Bipolar then you are in a whole different realm. You will need medication. But you will not be alone, I have other bipolar friends, one of them on the depression site. Do the program, if you are only borderline, it may be enough. I would recommend you finish getting diagnosed except you say you don't have the money. There is a sister site for depression also here.
To start you on your way to recovery let me welcome you and say we are here for you.
I'm new to this group so I thought I should introduce myself and situation but honestly have no idea where to begin with this. I'm 33 years old and married. I dealt with panic attacks and anxiety for many, many years. It started when I was 14. I was in and out of the hospital and on medication. I had gone to doctors for this before and nothing had helped. Because of my issues with anxiety and panic attacks I was forced to quit school when I was 16. I ended up going through a special program got myself into college for some classes and obtained a GED. But I still feel like a loser because I couldn't find the strength to get past the school pressures, harassing and torment that students gave me to obtain a h.s. diploma. The school never seemed to understand but when I got to college it was a whole different environment. Then after 2 years of college I hit bottom again. I couldn't deal with the stress. I ended up going back on medications and got the help from a psychiatrist who said I was borderline maniac depressive. I had way more lows, then had times of highs. Basically, I have some kind of chemical imbalance and without further testing I couldn't get a real diagnosis. Which of course, my insurance won't cover.
Now to tell why I've decided to try to help myself and be a part of this group...
This just happened in the last 2 months. Husband was having major issues with his daughter. She wanted to be more independent. She is still a high school student but taking college level classes. She decides to tell us through text message that she is moving out. Comes here takes all her stuff that is portable out. Leaves for 2 months. Doesn't bother to keep in contact with us. Mail is still coming here from her school etc. Find out she is failing some classes and not doing what she is suppose to do. So we have the whole talk about how to be responsible etc... Then after the holidays (once again without consulting us) she comes here to stay for 2 days. Behold... she comes with a van and moves all her stuff back in. So I'm standing here looking like a complete idiot because I don't know what's going on... So once again we sit down with her and have the whole being responsible talk again.
THEN...
This is what did it... I had a full panic attack, heart pounding, felt like I was going to throw up etc. on New Years Eve. We let mail pile up for a couple days. Got busy, said oh well. Then hubby opens a bill from a hospital. Stepdaughter went to the ER the beginning of December and never even bothered to mention anything about it. Turns out she went there with the parents of the friend she was staying with at the time. No one said anything. So here we are with a $500+ ER bill and no way to pay for it. We are having HUGE financial problems and this just topped it. We are probably going to have to go bankrupt and lose either our house or vehicle because if we don't pay this bill it will be turned over to collections. So on New Years Eve instead of ringing it in with hopes of a great 2011, I'm sitting here wishing that I had a whole different life because I'm tired of living in this one.
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