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Looking for Moms with panic and anxiety????

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

I'm a mom too. I don't find I worry too much about their health itself per say or obsessively about harm coming to them BUT when it comes to them developing anxiety...that worries me. I know the struggle that brings and maybe because I would blame myself. There is a definate genetic predisposition so I'm always on the look out.

Our daughter is 10 and just started to become a "tween" and the fact that she may be like me makes me feel sick.... Some anxiety is normal but I am terrified that one day she'll experience panic... etc. Although my journey has made me who I am I hope that she never struggles as I did... and the shame attached to the struggle etc....

It actually brings me close to tears when I think about how vulnerable that would make her. My parents were so ignorant and even still have issues completely understanding...although my dad is a walking case of anxiety / ocd. He thinks the world has the problem not him though. They are just of the old school way... I remember not being able to make my mom understand what I was feeling and how I tried to always cover up my feelings... I don't ever want my daughter to feel the same NOR do I want to create anxiety by being over reactive and looking for signs...

*sigh*... it's a tough one. The fact that my son has a heart condition is easier in a way to deal with as it's all medical and I can research it and explain it all...where as this disorder is so much grey...... and affects everyone different...

Ok.. that's my blurb...

The positive though is that we are all very informed and are able to get our children services etc. if the need ever be. We can also show a level of compassion and understanding that wasn't available when we were younger.

Gonna go hug them again today :)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 34

Hi Tonee, thanks for writing about this. I have found that being a mom has caused me to become more fearful and yes from learning what I saw when I grew up. But the good thing about you and I is that we understand our fears and can help our kids if we see them becoming fearful. I find that a blessing. My parents were worriers but they didn't see that they were; so when we would worry they would just say stop it there is no need to worry like that you will drive yourself crazy, but they didn't understand that it's not that easy to just stop worrying...Does that make sense?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hello Tonee,

I just wanted to say thank you for sharing with us and welcome to the forums!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hello Tonee, Welcome to the support site...........you have reached the right place for great support, encouragement and wisdom. Please take the time to review the program and all the tools available to you. Check out the forums and post often. We are all here to support you. I believe your thoughts on how one develops a fear of physical safety definitely ring true. Much of it is learned behaviour. Although fear and anxiety can be motivators, if they shift to the opposite extreme, they become inhibitors. Good luck, Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hello Tonee,

welcome to the forums, I hope you find a lot of relief here like I have.

I don't know if you came across a post where Dark Blue(I think?) said how fear is a natural emotion in our body. I think it is good responsiblity for your son to be afraid to be late like yourself. and I think it will give more ease for you two that it is not the end of the world to be late too. The fear just has to be controlled... it's a good tool to be a better person for not causing trouble to others, but must remember to give yourself some room to breathe too. I'm sorry, I hope I'm making sense, sort of rambling... I think fear is there for a reason, we need fear, but once it controls our lives, it becomes this disorder.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

Hi April,

I have just started the panic program and I am also a mother of a 3 and a 6 year old!

I don't tend to worry as much about the physical health of my kids but I do worry about their emotional and developmental health. I also worry a lot of the health of the world we live in (environment, politics etc). I think I developed this fear as a result of growing up in a family that was very socially and politically active and I was exposed to these issues at a young age. My husband kind of blames my parents because he says this probably contributed to my fear. My therapist had an interesting point that anxious people tend to latch on to whatever issues are around them and they are exposed to. So maybe because you grew up in a family where everybody was concerned about physical safety of children you also developed this fear.

I see this in my son too. He is a worrier like me and I try to protect him from scary things (movies for example) but he finds other stuff to worry about . For example, he worries about being late and I think it is because I worry about being late in the morning and he is just picking up on me talking about it all the time. So now he worries a lot about being late for school.

So now I wonder if I didn't worry about the state of earth would I have just developed a fear of something else instead?

Sarah

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 823

Hi April, You pose an interesting question - one I am sure members will have interesting insight into. Although parents are protective because they care about your wellbeing, sometimes they can be too protective and hinder your ability to have the confidence to deal with certain experiences and make good decisions. I believe there is a fine line here............a line of balance. This can be hard to practice. It's good that you have your husband to provide a different perspective! Faryal, Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 34

Hi Birdie, thanks for writing, I am like you, but my kids are young 3 and 6 I have them go to camp and such because I want them to be independent and not fear the world (like I was taught, not to blame my parents as they were just looking out for me, but it scared me!) It is harder for me letting them be independent but I know it will help them so much as they get older. I try not to worry unneccessarily although I was brought up doing that and it's a hard habit to break...my husband tries to help me because he was not brought up worrying and he doesn't let things phase him as much, I don't always listen because my worries get the best of me!!!! Did you find as your kids got older that you worried less because you taught them to be independent?

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 101

Hi! April,

Just ran across this topic! Yes, Yes and Yes! I do believe that over protective parenting contributes to anxiety!!!!

My father was very over protective and a worrier he would say don't do this don't do that you may get hurt you may whatever... He has anxiety and so do I! I make a very strong effort not to be that way with my kids. It is a challenge some times but I'm glad I've lightened up. My kids are 15 and 12 and they are very independent outgoing kids! I try and expose them to new experiences and do things even if it's out of my comfort zone. I encourage people that I trust to do those things with them so they can live life with others perspective. I don't want them to be afraid to live like I was taught!!!!!!

Birdie

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hello April,

I have no children but I did want to stop in and say welcome to the forums. We do have some wonderful mommies on here though and I am sure they can help you through this :)

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Looking for Moms with panic and anxiety????