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No need to read, just doing some major venting...

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No need to read, just doing some major venting...

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Am sighing here , i reckon my hubby spends at least bare minimum of 8 hours gaming/surfing the net every single day . A few years ago when my family were homeless and living in just two rented rooms between 7 of us

. Horrible times . He used to play up to 4am . How hard is it getting to sleep hearing the tip tap tapping of a control pad . He didnt think it was a problem and i shouldnt moan because he had tv on mute !!! But the tapping noise arghhhhhhh was too mad too sleep no matter how hard .

Now believe it or not i dont mind him playing gamesor surfing the net , lets face it i do play pc games myself . BUT pnly when i have done whatever needs doing first .

Its 8.45 pm at the moment and i have seen him for 2 hours all day , im a nag if i say anything

so most the time dont for kids sake .

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 341

Hi Diva:) love the colours again, I go straight to my posts

. I wanted to let you know that you are not alone with the gaming thing, its not just your hubby:) In the beginning I used to complain a lot about it, now if I want to go somewhere, I say " well I didnt mind if you gamed last night" so could you take me to get fabric?

My mom said that its not worth it to argue about the games. He does do dinner, and sometimes I just say I dont have time to do something (when I do) and then I just ask him to do it. Its good for him to get off his butt once in a while and do something constructive.

I"m really happy for you that you went to counselling and you sound happier in your last post. Its good to see that, BTW if you want any gaming tips we can share them and we can pretend we know nothing about gaming and then beat them at their game!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

DazedMommy,

No worries for not reading my post till now. As for the pople here being amazing I completely agree! I am glad to hear my posts do not depress you or you don't find them depressing. I somehow always feel like I am a downer or like I will bother someone. It is good to know that you are all so supportive and do not mind my rantings! As for the supportive posts I share with you gys, I am happy to do it. I love seeing when you guys are doing well and I like being able to help when I can.

Thank you for being so supportive as to my recent woes. Good to hear that even if there were hurdles you are now happy in your marriage. Means there is hope for me! As for the counselling I have taken and appointment today for later in the month and the hubby is still looking okay with the idea. I do hope it is helpful. I do intend to give it my all as I love him dearly.

Yeah the gaming can drive insane!

Thank you for the lovely compliments, I am so blushing.

. And you are right, whatever hapens I do not regret the experience it has taught me and still is teaching me things.

Thank you again for the lovely reply, it means so much to me.

Hiya Breanne,

Well as I have mentionned to Dm, I have taken an appointment with a councellor. Today we didn'T talk per sey but it went really well. He cooked supper and he cleaned the whole entire bathroom! Talk about wow! My bathroom is all shiny and spiffy! Also, he sais he will take me for a walk to help me wind down from a hyperactive, stress inducing, exhausting work day. As for the games, well he still played a bit much today but he tries and that counts for a lot! So am hopeful!

CD,

I am glad you enjoy the posts. It makes them longer but I do enjoy making them lol. I love colors and am childlike in my enjoyment on emoticons and colors and fonts! I also like colouring and putting stickers in my letters! Goes hand in hand I guess. And yes, I think he is cute

And yes DM is lucky that her hubby is not a gamer! As I have said before, some days I feel like driving over is game consoles and computer with a car. lol

Thank you again for the reply! Btw, I love your signature. Take care!

Hiya Minnessota!

OMG! your hubby and mine sound so alike in some ways!My husband get like that too. Does not want to see anyone or meet new people. Prefers his game to going out with friends and socializing. I so understand how you are feling! As for the hmm and aaawing when you want to watch t.v, don'T let it get to you. If he has no other hobby in life then his game then it is his problem to deal with not yours. You are entitled to have use of the t.v. too! I am like you on the playing issue. I don't mind the games as such and I don't mind if he wants to play but in moderation! Problem is not being moderate! At least he agrees to walk with me sometimes and today he is playing a lot but still making efforts for me so I am hopeful :) Oh and my hubby sits in the dark when playing too, I don't get it. How depressing! But as I said he is trying today and we are going to councelling so I am hopeful and glad he is making efforts. But I wanted to say I totally get your frustration, I mean TOTALLY GET IT! Hang in there! And thanks for sharing your experience with me. I don't like that you are going through the same frustrations as me but I do feel less alone in this. So thank you again!

Anyway, in between all the posts to everyone I have pretty much resumed where I am now with this. As I am exhausted and kyet kind of really hyper, I will log off and try to settle down and go walk to releive stress and hyperactivity. Been at it from 8:30 am to 10 pm with work and housework. Was having a weird anxious hyper day where I just couldn't sit or relax and just kept going. But now I feel very worn out. Thanks agin for the lovly replies and you all take care!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 341

Hi Diva,, loved your colourful posts, very creative:) I made a new friend, that south african lady I was telling you about and she came over with her hubby and my hubby was busy playing a game, and said he didnt feel like meeting them that day. I got all annoyed. I bake for his friends and welcome them every friday. Sometimes its so aggravating, He once offered to do the laundry and about 2 days later it was still there, so I just did it because he was involved in a game. It sometimes works on my nerves, but I have my own hobbies now. It bugs me tho when I want to watch TV. Then he hmms and haas about what he is going to do. It used to really aggravate me, and I told him that I dont mind if he plays, but in moderation. We;ve been married now 5 years and I can say that I agree with DM, marraige is very hard work. My hubby has all the game systems, and lots of games, he doesnt want to exercise or go for walks and that is also hard on me, as he is very over weight.
He'd rather sit in the dark and play games..its very frustrating. oh well..:)

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 778

Well that was a result Diva , im so pleased for you . Hey i love the way you did you colourful and personel posts thank-you . So he's cute eh lol that made me smile .

DM you are just so lucky not to a gamer for a hubby !!!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Diva,

I am so glad to hear that you had a good talk with your husband. The fact that he is willing to get help is a huge step in the right direction. It sounds like you two are able to communicate well with one another, so I'm sure you will work through this. I think that it is really important that he understands that you feel as if his games are more important than you. It must be a horrible feeling, and I'm sure he does not want you to feel that way.

Let us know how it goes,

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 313

Hi Diva...

I haven't been on much lately and just read your post now. The people on here are so amazing I must say and the support and encouragement is phenomenal.

First I'd like to say that I NEVER find your posts depressing or negative. I often find you say a lot of what I'm thinking and I can relate to so much. I also appreciate all the supportive posts you've shared with all of us. Inspiring and helpful... always. Although I've never had an issue with depression per say... I do have moments of extreme disappointment when a relapse of my anxiety or ocd rears its ugly head. Those moments can be quite dark and I think I can take from those when I say that I understand somewhat.

I too am sorry to hear you are having a rough go at it with your hubby. I have been married almost 11 years ... Now, very happily but we jumped a few hurdles and scraped a few knees to get where we are. I think counselling is an excellent choice. Knowing you have given it your all and done all that you can will allow you to make a decision without any regrets.

Marriage is hardwork BUT it does take two people to do the work. That's excellent news that he is willing to go to counselling as having an unbiased 3rd party to help with communication is a real eye opener. They ensure that you listen and hear eachother... something that sometimes doesn't happen at home.

As for the gaming, my hubby doesn't do it so I can't relate but it would drive me insane.. I do know that.lol...

You are a strong and amazing woman and when you are ready to make a decision you will... You need to love with your heart but decide with your mind... sometimes love isn't enough and that's ok. Sometimes though it's love that makes us work through the challenges and create a relationship that is balanced and equal.. something you deserve. You deserve to be cherished and respected... as does he....

It will be what it is... and you will be that much richer for having lived the experience no matter what the outcome.

Take care Diva and please keep posting. You're a true inspiration.

PS.. and you're right..this too shall pass!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

warm fuzzies is what I meant to write lol!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 2101

Hi guys!

Wow you guys are gonna make me cry. I am so touched by your replies! Got me all teary eyed. I just got a great big dose of warm fussies reading your posts! Thank you so much!

CD,

Thank you for your encouragement and support. Thank you also for letting me know I am not alone with this kind of dilemma. I appreciate you taking the time to make me feel less alone in this.

back at you!

And yes, I have been having trouble with all this for a while.It has been tough with me and the hubby for a while. I do beleive in not taking rash actions. When I get all worked up I feel like running or breaking everything or making quick decisions. But then I vent some and sit on my hands so that I can make a good thought out decision! So yes, I will only take action once I am sure!

Thank you again for all your support and kindness. It means a lot to me! Oh and I am pretty proud of myself! I ended up doing 4 and a half hours! Not bad for a depressed, tired woman who is currently fighting eith her hubby!

Minnessota,

Thank you so much for your reply. It is nice to know someone out there gets what it is like to be married to a gamer! My hubby and yours sound similar in many regards. when you said: "He comes home from work and games, and pretty much games a lot." or "He doesnt like to do things around here cause he's gaming. Or its too hot outside, or too cold outside. " I was like wow does that ever sound familiar! I must admit tho that one the doing stuff around the house thing he has been doing much better. He tries harder on that front which is nice. I just wish I felt as important to him as his games...Anyway, at least there is some improvment right?

Thanks again for sharing with me. I don't feel so lonely in all this anymore and that means a lot to me

Miki,

Thank you also for your reply. I am glad to hear my posts have not been a downer and that some even find comfort in my sharing and venting

I must admit I find much comfort in confiding to all of you here and your replies always make me feel welcome and warm and supported. I also love to come on here and read your posts. I am glad my posts have brought relief as your posts have brought me comfort.

Thank you for sharing your experiences with your separation from your husband. It is nice to know that you understand my anxieties about all of this. And yes, me loving him so much makes all this very difficult and much scarier. And yes, I am my most important person, thanks for reminding me. I am currently trying to give it my all and see what happens. It is nice to know though that some people have experience with this and can help me through whatever it is I decide to do.

Thank you for reminding me that whatever happens I will survive and this depression will pass! It is good to be reminded. I also appreciate you being here!

Btw, I have talked to my husband after work. I think it was a good talk. After everything settled down we went out for supper at the restaurant and he was very nice all supper long. He also agreed to do some councelling for our marriage and I didn't need to twist his arm which was nice. So I am going to make an appointment tomorrow. Hope things get better. I do love him. Plus between you and me, he is cute!

Anyway, thanks again, when I logged on and saw your replies, it felt like being safe ans surrounded by friends :)

and

for all of you!

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 477

Hello Diva,

I'm sorry I haven't been here for a long time, but I wanted to let you know that I always feel comfort from all of your threads. I've had depression and when you post, I feel like I'm not alone.. I mean, that is not a nice thing but the fact that you open up to us there is relief in the reader. So if you don't mind writing, I wish you will keep writing.

I'm sorry that things are not going the way with the hubby... a lot of the times, I've thought about it too... like financial issues, driving, and being alone without him. I am sure it is the worst because you are still in love with him, and I wish that there can be a way that his heart can open to yours. But I've also learned that some people will not and you are your most important person. Regrets wont happen when you have done your all. I've been living separately with my husband for awhile now and there were many rocky roads, anxiety of how am I going to survive without him, but looking back, I see how I've adjusted to the environment. Sometimes, this struggle and anger pushes me to get things done.

I also want to remind you that you will get out of depression one day, because I have! Around April, every time I wake up, I just wanted to vomit because I was so depressed. But now, I feel happy. And it is all because I didn't let go of hope. You will get there Diva! I really appreciate that you are here!!

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No need to read, just doing some major venting...