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I feel like a constant burden and disappointment to my family .

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I feel like a constant burden and disappointment to my family .

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Keep in mind with all things mental there are degrees and you don't have to fit perfect to use the method of treatment. Take CBT, it works for a lot of things but still there are those that need more, such as medication or a different form of treatment to cover other issues.

Glad you can see yourself as ashamed and embarrassed, I think we all are to a degree, but we are your friends remember and are here for you. All of us.

Seriously,

Davit.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

borderline personality

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 659

Keestoo,

I am so glad you made a appointment to talk to someone about the problems you are having..This takes a lot of courage to do. I wouldn't worry about doing a lot of self analysis right now..You have made a lot of progress today..You were able to talk about how you are feeling and what has been happening to do as best you can. You reached out for help by coming here and posting and by making a appointment to talk to a professional that can help you access the situation..Give yourself a pat on the back for taking action and doing something positive for yourself..

Let us know how it goes with the appointment if you are feeling up to it and are comfortable sharing the information. Remember the choice is always up to you..

Red

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Sweetie ... if I may be so direct without offending.... never mind.... even if I do offend :/ .... let your best friend in... let her know what is going on... If she doesn't come by.... call her and ask for help. I know it isn't easy, but when things are really bad... you gotta trust the people that love you... and ask for help. I reiterate what has already been said.... we are not a crisis line... if you are feeling like you cannot make it until your appointment.... please call your local help line.... I believe you would not be on this site if you were not serious about getting help..... so get some serious immediate help. As Davit says, I'm here for you...... but I cannot be THERE. Get the help you need.

Gentle cyber hugs for you (if that is ok).

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Kees... I can relate to your statement:

I wasn't this miserable when I was getting loaded every day.

After working through all my other $#!+, I find I am now dealing with an addiction to alcohol .... trust me, it's best to deal with the original problem. You certainly can choose to sublimate with drugs, but it only postpones and amplifies the inevitable.... you gotta deal with it sooner or later and sooner is soooooooooooooooooooo much easier than later!!! Your choice. I am now getting on top of the alcohol problem but it has been a long journey. I wouldn't recommend this route to anyone. But, hey.... it's up to you. Having found this site, I see that you are already ahead of the problem.... take full advantage of what it is offered to you here.... especially the experience and support of other folks in similar circumstance.

Yes, life sucks.............. but it can get better.................. way better.

Been there, done that.... and learned so very much... I oughta make a T-shirt for it

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

that terrifies me. i asked the lady on the phone if they could do that to me before i would even give her my health record number. i am so paranoid right now. i ignored my best friends phone call today and was afraid that she was going to just pop by so i closed all the blinds and locked all the doors. that is so out of character for me. there are TOO MANY new things popping up everyday, not really feeling like i can take it anymore.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Oh, and I second what Davit says about commitment to a mental health facility.... voluntary or involuntary... it's not at all what you fear. I've been several times.... all voluntary.... but it has always been a relief.... a good respite.... where you can deal with your "issues" in a safe place without having the exhaustion of faking it. I haven't been in 10 years, but sometimes wish I could go back. Seriously, if it is determined you need inpatient care.... it is a wonderful opportunity to get the help you need. Just my experience.....

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 12

Thanks I will look it up and just peak at it. I don't know what that means but I am sure that I will find out. I called and scheduled an appointment today with a therapist or some kind of doctor, I'm really not sure. I just know it was in the mental health part of my doctors office. I feel like I am watching a movie half the time. Not really sure why. Not really sure why it all got so bad so quickly. Nothing different has really changed. I am miserable. I feel like I am always lying to someone about something. I am a recovering meth addict and also struggle back and forth with bulimia. I have been clean from meth for over five years and I have managed to cut the puking and laxatives down to about half what it use to be. When my husband walks in the room and I am on this site reading or whatever, I minimize the screen quickly so he doesn't see what I am writing. I know that he loves me very very very much but my head tells me that he would regret marrying me if he knew all the things I was thinking. I'm done!! I'm rambling and most the time forget what I am saying anyways.

Life sucks right now. I wasn't this miserable when I was getting loaded every day.

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 376

Bipolar or Borderline Personality? I have been diagnosed with both, although neither proved to be the case. At any rate, both are worth researching. It's good to know what you do NOT have as much as what you do (or may have).... we must not abdicate our own power to the professionals.... they are necessary and extremely helpful (in the ideal) but ultimately we have to go with what resonates at a core level. Sorry.... that's my big "issue" to get up on a soapbox about. anyway... I am curious which one you are alluding to........

13 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Keestoo

In Canada it takes an assessment by two Psychiatrists to get you committed or an actual attempt. I have been voluntarily committed. I want to say that the psych ward is not like it is portrayed on TV. It is actually a rather home like situation and though I was on meds and locked in. (except for 15 minute passes) I found it a great place to rest and would not hesitate to go back.

Okay, This is worst case scenario and like I said it is controllable and I hesitate to give this to you incase you decide you have this without a doctors assessment. But you might want to rule it out so you can get on with doing the program which works but takes time. The best that can happen is you will say, no that is not me. The worst is you will say, It could be and go get help.

Look up. BPD in google. It is rare but possible. Because I am giving you this to look up does not mean I think you have it, it means that I'm concerned and sticking my neck out.

Here for you,

Davit.

And like Josie said we are not medical people we can not and should not prescribe or diagnose, we are here only for information.

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I feel like a constant burden and disappointment to my family .