Pete, I was trucking along through life and at 42 I ran into a brick wall called depression. The wall came tumbling down on top of me and I didn't have the strength, the motivation nor the wherewithall to move even a single brick. As a result of the depression (there is a higher correlation of a number of illness in people with depression than in the general population) I started to develop other health issues. I only left my bed and my house for those dr. appts. I retired from a wonderful paying job utilizing my education and went to bed. I was seeing a psychiatrist, the day I hit the brick wall, I called a doctor I'd seen for 28 years and he got me in that day and referred me to the pdoc.
I don't want to sound like a braggard or vain or full of myself. But I was making very good money for the geographical erea in which I live, I loved my job, I own my own home, have a dog, a kid that had just graduated from law school and passed the bar. I was working on my doctoral degree, teaching classes, studying statistics, working toward the 1st three chtrs of my dissertation. (there were too very stressful events going on in my life that I think contributed to the onset of my depression but that's not the point here). Life was great. I was confident, respected in my profession, involved in civic organizations, served on boards and held offices and volunteered.
When the bricks came tumbling down all those "good" feelings I had about me disolved into dust and were swept away by the wind. I had not one ioto of self-confidence, self-worth, self-esteem or self-efficacy. I was embarassed, I felt ugly, I couldn't stand to be around people, I didn't/couldn't handle the financial aspects of my life, my home, my anything. My mom drove me to and from dr. appts and became my power of attorney to help me. After mom died, my son took over as POA. Slowly but surely over time, I've worked on "what I've lost". I can remember a time when I wasn't depressed, I mourn that person, those activities, etc.
Do you remember a time when you weren't depressed and how you felt???? Lost, do you?
mmgsc, do you? I know the onset of depression knows no age boundaries. I am just curious, so if you don't want to answer it's okay.
You know I know my family will miss me if I am not here. I think it is important to recognize the value we have in the lives of our children, our parents, our siblings and cousins, et al. I know I also have a couple of people I've been friends with for over 30 years -they'd miss me when I'm gone. And we don't talk that often.
