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15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 142

hi perth,
yes medications- antideppresants and/or antianxiety pills- they help. you're worrying is anxiety and you seem to have it bad right now. i totally understand the worrying "in advance" - but honest, we will all die eventually just like we were all born once upon a time - that's the way it works. but, we are also supposed to be able to find some joy and fun and relaxation while we are here! it seems impossible when you're in the pit of despair, to find any good reason for living, but there are! hang in there and think about you - what would make you feel better and then go for it! it really is one day at a time

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

the last sentence was supposed to be like:

- it's so nice to listen to people with this kind of helping attitude and real support. Thank you very much again.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Dear Mom of 3, dear Breanne,

Sincerely thank you for your inputs. Yes, you're right, I have no control over them so it doesn't make sense to worry... I mean, yes and no - you can have a very little power on illness - can't you? I always worry about the health of my family too. So I'm always looking after them, like if I were their GP. I think, also this is a "nurture" thing - as Mom described it accurately. My mother did the same always. But it's exhausting to know that ANYthing I will try will at most have only a very little positive effect - I can't keep my loved ones alive for ever - at any sooner or later time you can't do anything more. So it's just frustrating and exhausting that all my efforts won't bring anything from any timepoint on. So what do I do? I "grieve" in advance. Which is completely senseless again... my head 'gets' it, but my soul jsut can't forget that future will come. Future with negative happenings. I guess I too much concentrate on the negative potential happenings and not much (or just nothing) on any potential positive happenings. But this is again, because I "learned" not to look forward to anything as everything can change until then - a lot of unexpected things - which often happened too. So my opinion on future is jsut overbalanced I think.... it's so hard to get out of this. I'm already moved to tears when I just think of future and write these things... Is there any "medication" or "tool" for that?? I will work through the lessons in any case and will try to challenge them by converting them into negative statements, as it has been advised in another discussion. So thanks a lot for all the good hints and the GOOD WILL - it's so listen to people with this kind of support and real support. Thank you very much again.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1693

Perth,

I am sorry to hear about the loss of your father. Your worrying is completely justified. However, it seems that it is affecting you in a negative way, like you said, it is exhausting. It is a waste of energy to constantly worry about things that are out of your control, even though, especially in your case, you have some grounds to worry. Unfortunately, you don't have any control over the loss of your loved ones, over someone getting sick, or over a car accident, therefore, there is no sense in worrying. I know it is far easier said than done, but it is something that you will need to be aware of and work on.

Keep working through the program and working through the exercises. And, as you know, we're always here for you

Breanne, Bilingual Health Educator

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Perth,

I wish I had a magic answer for you. It is hard to have that specific worry to deal with. It lurks beneath the surface for most I think. I think a degree of worry is ok, when it's excessive it robs you and your loved ones of life and quality time together.

I have taken my worry and depression to that extreme and the consequences are not great.

You are taking on a worry of something you have no control over, so the worry will not go away. Perspective is needed for this worry. Something COULD happen to your loved ones, but most likely will not. Dwelling on the negative will increase your worry. Challenging your thought process can help tremendously and allow you to enjoy your loved ones. I hope what I wrote makes sense. Maybe Brenna has some thoughts.

Brenna,

I grew up a worrier. My parents, grandparents, aunts, uncles, brother, sister and cousins all worry. I find it exhausting but can't seem to entirely break the cycle. I believe it's both a nature and a nurture problem

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3043

Yes, definitely, I think.
I've always thought about this question and at any time I realized, the difference was in the behaviour of the parents. At least in my case it was so.

I'm worrying too much and I don' know how to cope with fears like fears of losing someone you love??
There was a very nice input in one of the earlier discussions how to cope with worrying like asking questions, hogy bad it would be if that happend. But this is the point. It would be VERY bad. All I'm worring about are my loved ones. How long I can enjoy life with them.
My father died unexpectedly. So I guess these worries relate to that happening. Since then I'm just always on a level of constantly worrying about what comes next. Do you understand what I mean? is really stupid - I know. But it's somehow so frightening that these worries can be realistic - this makes me even more worry.
Another loved one had an accident some times ago. Again, absolutely unexpectedly. He lost memories of the past 6 months. Next day he got them back thankfully. But an accident like this could have caused much more serious problems. So two such situation make me worrying all the time - which is quite exhausting. But what can I do? What would be the next level of support if those 10 questions just not suffice any more?
Anybody understands this?
Thank you for listening/input - really appreciate it.

15 years ago 0 +0 / -0 1153

Members,

From an evolutionary perspective, worrying makes sense. Being able to worry, at least a little, allows us to anticipate and plan for the future and cope with stress. On the other hand, too much worry isn’t healthy either. If you spend a lot of your day worrying, it probably doesn’t do you a lot of good. Worrying about problems a little can lead to problem solving and coping, worrying more than a little doesn’t usually lead to much good. So why do some people worry more than others?

There are a number of factors that contribute to excessive worry including genes and the environment. Worry also tends to happen when things are uncertain.

When do you worry most? Do you think your upbringing has shaped the degree of worry you experience?

Brenna, Bilingual Health Educator

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