Thank you for reaching out Linda.
I have not had much success at keeping a man for an extended period. 8 years is the best I have done so far. The next best was 5 years, darn it he had to go and die on me. He was my third great love. I figure I have the capacity to love again. I like to think that I am on a "Catch and Release" program.
When you said you and your husband are not getting along at present, I thought of a large type of business card that was given to me by a person who is a life coach 'William Glasser style'. The card lists habits that can help or hinder relationships.
Caring Habits: Respecting, Encouraging, Supporting, Listening, Negotiating Differences, Trusting, Accepting.
Deadly Habits: Bribing, Blaming, Complaining, Nagging, Threatening, Criticizing, Punishing.
If partners could practice the Caring Habits as much as possible, I expect many relationships would last longer.
I pinned the card up at work to help me to remember to stop blaming and complaining.
In the past, a doctor let me be sick for 2 years because he was afraid I would get upset if he said the word depression. Instead he treated me for things like ulcers, Atypical hepatics.
Finally when I told him that I was afraid that I would get into such a panic that I would hurt my daughter. He offered an antidepressant drug. I said I was willing to try anything. That is when he told me he thought I was depressed all along. He was just scared to tell me for some completely unexplainable reason.
So, don't go to a young doctor that is timid to tell the truth.
Do not worry about a name, I used one of my horse's names.
I decided to step out side my comfort zone and into the hole in the ice at the annual fire department fund raiser. Yes in -8 C temperatures. That's about 22 degrees to you Americans.
Only 2 people there that I knew, which is an achievement for me to mingle with strangers.
It was really exciting after paying the fee and standing in line for my turn. Met a nice lady who jumped with me. She mentioned that she saw a handsome fire fighter. I was momentarily distracted from the task at hand. Could not fine the one she was talking about. 22 crazy people jumped with about 200 spectators.
I did this also in 2013, on a -20 C day. Figured today would be much easier. I did get some scratches and burses on my legs, because the lady fire fighter was not strong enough to help me out. I bet that mystery handsome fire fighter would have done a better job.
I had some relief from depression when the doctor added Wilburton (bupropion) to the fluoxetine that I have been taking for years. Had great luck with the fluoxetine till recently. While I felt less depressed when Wilburton was added,it did nothing for my chronic pain. Naturally chronic paid can cause depression. Today is my first day to take Cymbalta. Sure hope it helps because I would love to be less depressed about the pain. Cymbalta is supposed to be useful for people with fibromyalgia, hoping that it will be useful for tendonitis and bursitis.
Big step for me today! I called LifeWorks and have made appointment for phone counselling that will begin Tuesday evening. I did this for two reasons. 1) One of my goals is to get more comfortable making phone calls where I am not certain of the outcome. Reaching out for any kind of help is hard for me. 2) This week I started a withdrawal from meds that I have counted on for many years, so that I can change to an anti-depression drug that is supposed to be helpful for chronic pain. For this transition period, I am worried that I could become more depressed as one drug leaves my body and before any benefit could be gained from the new one. My plan is to have some sort of safety net in place just in case I need it. Yes, I have been thinking about calling LifeWorks for a few days now. Today I kept putting it off over and over. I was telling myself, "I will just get my chores done first" then it was, "I will just have dinner first." You get the idea. Finally ran out of ideas for putting it off. Felt a sense of relief afterwards.
Thank you for responding Aero. You are very right, there are many people who read the messages here and do not respond. I can feel the benefit of just writing down one's thoughts.
I could just concentrate on that feature of this discussion board. Yes it can be difficult to find words that could be helpful to others. Sometimes I read about the difficulties that some other people have and wish I could say something that would offer some comfort. A scary thought of perhaps making someone feel worse by saying something wrong. Thanks again for answering.
Why do you have to pretend to be strong? Could you just be yourself? Could you admit to yourself and to her that you are sad that this unpleasant event has occurred?
Tonight was first night at the Mindfullness Workshop. Interesting. I have home work to do each morning. Instructor asks us to make time each morning for the meditation practice. Seems like I will have to set my alarm for 1/2 hour earlier. This seems like a good use of the Behaviour Experiment Form.
Congratulations on finding the right drug to improve your life. The sense of relief you must feel must be wonderful. Inspiring to hear that you never gave up and were willing to keep trying to make improvements.
Of course you have a purpose. First you will get yourself healed, then you can offer support and love to your daughter. Even if someone else is looking after her day to day needs, you can still have a great deal of influence on her life.
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