I like the dancing in private idea. I have some exercise tapes that I used to use. Should dig them up to use this winter. I have an belly dancing DVD that is fun exercise. Yep, cold outside here as well. The first snow fall hit on Friday and it has not yet warmed up enough for it to melt. I hate winter. Short days get me down. I have a light in bed room on a timer that turns on 1/2 hour before clock alarm time. Really helps.
I keep a copy with me. Yes it is difficult to find the right opportunity to use the thought record at work. At the time that it would be best to use the form, it is usually when it is very busy. A couple of times I just scribbled a reminder about the event, then expanded on it later. I have a job where taking 10 minutes to reflect and write notes is a punishable offence.
My last call of the evening yesterday was the perfect opportunity to use the complete thought record. My first one.
Negative thought: I can't do math!
Situation: Customer challenging me on our calculations for the 1 cent of HST (a Canadian form of sales tax). Canadian government has decided that only a small portion of the Merchant Discount Rate (MDR) that merchants have to pay on credit card transactions by customers at their business. The card brand fee of 0.125% against the total MDR which in her case was 1.7% on a credit card sale of $79.00
Thoughts: O My God! We are talking about how the decimal point is rounded up.
Specific Thought to challenge: I am stupid because I can not win the math war.
Consequences/Feelings: 80% deflated, inadequate
Distortions: (I am not good at choosing from the selection.) So I picked Should Statements
Evidence the thought is true: I can not talk this caller round to seeing the calculations as I do. Which comes to 1.2 cents. Moneris has charged her .2 cents less than the actual tax.
Evidence the thought is not true: I am not stupid because not everyone is a math genius, which is likely needed to show this merchant how we calculate the HST.
While I was writing this all down on paper a few minutes after merchant was gone, I began to think this event was funny.
Alternative Thoughts: At least I did not hang up on her. I tried to explain the best I could, as I am not an accountant. I did not get rude with the merchant.
Feelings: 50%
By the time I had the though recorded completed, I began to see the funny side of this unusual event. Shared the thought record with 2 co-workers, one of whom is having anxiety issues as well. (Not uncommon where I work.) Hearty laughter was had at the merchant's expense and to my relief to get past how stressed I had felt.
Yep, long story. It does me good to get it out there. Might not do much good for those that were determined enough to read this far.
I heard something on the radio a few days a go that really got me thinking. The health professional was saying it could be easier to determine inner negative thoughts if you could distance yourself from them. The suggested exercise was to begin a sentence with the words. "The big blue sky above me" then a verb or actions work, then finish the sentence.
An example of a positive thought would go something like this, "The big blue sky above me warmed me with sunlight that went right into my bones. Have to admit when I started this exercise, I came up with several negative thoughts. "The big blue sky above me said that it never expected me to be successful." "The big blue sky above me was surprised any time I did something right." I quickly realized I had some inner negative thoughts that began in childhood. Now, I have to learn how to challenge those negative thoughts. Let me see if I can get the big blue sky to realize it was mistaken.
Hello and welcome to our little group. I like your goals. Especially the one about handling one task at a time. It is like handling one day at a time.
Interesting that you mention making phone calls. This is a problem for me as well. I have this belief that people will reject me on phone calls. This fear of the person on the other end saying NO to any request I might have. What is crazy is that I work in a support call center. Yep, on the phone 8 hours a day. When the phone rings at home I rarely answer it. Love that call display.
While I am feeling much better after working this program for a few weeks, I want to keep going. Have a real desire to learn how to notice when I am taking a dip into depression. Then I can take action before it damages my relationships and work life.
I had though for a month that the 150 of Bupropion was going to be helpful. Had felt some improvement. This past weekend I had a lot of pain, tendonitis in arms and shoulders and Bursitis in the hips. Monday was a terrible day and I called Doctor for appointment. Luck to get to see Doctor so soon, today. A couple of months ago she had talked of an anti-depressant that had a good reputation for chronic pain, but I was afraid to stop the Prozac for the required period before taking this new one. And we went for the Bupropion. I have taken Prozac for years with very good results till this fall. During visit today we discussed the possible change over to new drugs, but Doctor felt the Christmas season was a very poor time of year to do withdrawal of the Prozac. Temporary solution is to increase the Bupropion to 300. Hoping for relief in a couple of days. Wish me luck, I may need it.
Hang on to the thought that this situation can get better. Have you reached out for help for yourself? It must be hard to be separated from your daughter. The fact that you can still get yourself to work and be with other people shows that you can go on with some normal things. I hope you begin to feel better soon.
Galianna
I remember the point of time before and shortly after my daughter was diagnosed with ADHD. I felt like I must be a bad parent because my daughter was not like other kids. Learned later that it is very common for parents to blame themselves when their children have a disability.
It is not your fault.
You can still be a help to your daughter. You can still reach out to her with love and understanding. When your are feeling better you will have opportunities to be with her again. Never give up on showing your daughter that you love her.
This feels like a lonely place. I check in almost every day. I sometimes post when I think I have something helpful to say. I see that many others log on each day and read posts. I would be grateful if some of you would even just say, "Hi."
Why, you might ask. Well I believe it would do me some good just to know others struggle with similar issues. I believe it would help me to feel like I belong somewhere. Even if it is in cyber space with people that I don't know yet.
Does anyone else have an issue with updating the daily records? It seems to take a long time to log in, then more waiting to save the info that I have entered. Frankly, I wonder off and play a game of computer solitaire then come back in 5 minutes. Is it perhaps there is so much information on the server saved from years ago?
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