Wildcat,
Please don't think like that! Your posts are very good and smart and you communicate so well, why would you think that you'd "sound" strange on the IM? You just say what you feel right then and wait for a response and then answer the response - b'en, b'en simple! Come on in next time you log on...
oxo
Katydid,
Welcome. Thanks for the post. You are going through a really bad life experience with family dying on you - leaving you 'alone' so to speak. It will pass. The massive depression all that brings to you will pass also.
It broke my heart that I had to destroy my 12 yr old Himalayan when he was in death throes after an attack by a big dog. My sister bought me a baby female Himalayan that I called Lola very soon after. I love that cat and can't wait to see her when I get back to Canada. She's a cat that sleeps on the crown of my head on the pillow!! Talk about best buddy!?
For us humans we never know the day nor the hour. Spend as much loving time with the MIL as you can afford. She will need your palliative love and caring.
Hang tight and keep talking to us. Try the IM when you log in...
oxo
Katydid,
You know, I'm still in that mean-zone where I don't want to spend $50 on acupuncture when I'm not sure I believe in it! I'd rather take down my copy of the poetry of Gerard manley Hopkins or Andrew Marvell or John Donne and get relief from seeing how desperate they were in their troubled minds and how they dealt with their issues through communicating the anxieties and grief they suffered. Makes me want to talk or write to empty out the brimming cauldron of my own miseries.
The acupuncture can't do any harm and it may do you the world of good. In fact my smoking is killing me and I will try it when I get back to Canada in the hope that I can stop.
I'm not kidding when I suggest that you might get a lot of peace from buying yourself a furry companion to sit in your lap. I count loving my cat as good therapy. They 'talk' and they are grateful to you for attention but they remain independent!!
How about searching for every comedy show onthe box and laughing even against your will? I do believe in laugh therapy. It helps deep breathing and it helps make you tired.
Because I have arthritis in the ankles and knees I do a bit of seated exercising and I can do that while watching tv. It does pump a little dopamine into my system and helps to get me to walk around a bit more. Even if it's only into the kitchen to start cooking the evening meal for the workers and students in the family.
Let us know how this bad 'downer' is going. Keep coming back and sign in to the IM when you log in.
oxo
Katydid,
I am also a Calvinist! I am guilty about getting succour from the site we're on! I feel I should be wearing a hair shirt becuase I'm depressed and not like other, laughing, people! I'm kidding. "Wander" away! Enjoy - take great joy from having a site like this... Look, love your buddy-cat right to the end and remember that you had something wonderful together through those many years. The cat has been much loved being with you, right? And you loved your cat, right? S/he's had a full life for a cat and he's been lucky enough to have spent it with you, a loving friend. What could be better than being with your buddy right to the end of it;s life??
I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, K, but I've had so many cats over 60 years that I have had the experience of loving them and letting them go... Look, if Cat is not in dire pain and she loves being with you and being petted by you then go the distance - but - when s/he's in pain you must remember that she's a friend and that she needs to go "home" to wherever good cats go...then you'll make the call and be with her as she journeys on...
Lord God, this stirs some memories... sorry.
oxo
Patrick
All other members please post and sign on for the IM. You don't have to talk but it might make you feel better to know that you're only a click away from talking to someone who knows what you're going through. We want to talk to you through the posts or the IM. Please sign in!?
Danielle,
Like a lot on impatient people I always have questions about the homework and I want answers toute de suite. I, like a good depressive, fall into apathy when I don't get an instant answer. I'll try to remember that life is not always instantaneous with answers. I'll ask. I get so hare-brained when I'm anxious that I forget that the world doesn't revolve on the very next minute...
Hi Lady,
yes, I care very much. I have trouble with appealing to prayer or God or any sort of organised religion. I don't believe in God and I am always at a loss to understand why folks seem to need that sort of abstraction in their lives. I've struggled with the God question since I was 12 yrs old and I still muse about it in general. I never, Never, got succour from appealing to 'Deities'. I had to admit to myself that I had no sense of what Faith means. I let it go. So, yes, I was intimidated when I saw that you were depending on a theology to ease what I consider to be an earth-bound condition with huge psychological complexities, none of which are solved by prayer without Faith. I'm sure it works for you anyway if you have Faith.
For the rest of what you post I have to say that I empathise with you and worry about you and wish that you were surrounded by loving and caring family and friends and, yes, even that, since you're a Believer, that your prayers will be "answered". I'm sorry that I haven't explained why I haven't posted for you or with you prior to this. I have no Faith. I respect that you do but I'm lazy and worn-out with many years of discussing God both in and out of monasteries on lengthy retreats and endless hours shaking the subject over a table top with good and wise friends.
I really don't want you to be in pain and to be lonely or that you despair - I want to talk to you but without reference to theology. I see many posts from you where you never bring up God or prayer. Please forgive me for this unBelief I have. I know the theory backwards but I cannot practise what I don't "get"!
Sorry,
Patrick OXO
NullPointer,
hello.
1. maybe she's frightened that you are "not yourself" and have to depend on a "drug" ( i.e. she doesn't understand your MDD)
2. maybe she's scared that she may lose influence over you when you take a "foreign", mind altering substance (i.e. that you're out of "control" and therefore she's "out of control")
3. Maybe she doesn't understand why you've hidden the fact of taking a psycho-tropic and she REALLY doesn't understand what it is you're taking? In other words she doesn't have a clue about what your MDD really is.
Can't you explain it to her? Can't you tell her that you've been to the doctor and s/he has diagnosed a depressive state in you and that you need the meds? Can't you show her the descriptions of MDD on the Internet? Why is she so frightened about something so understandable as depression???
Get the website that explains about MDD and have her read it. Out loud preferably. Assure her that it's not the end of the world. That you want her support, you need her support. That her shouting at you for taking a "mystery pill" solves nothing.
let us know how you make out with that
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