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so sick of death and grief


16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Patrick, you're awesome. Very wise words, and reassuring. So the truth comes out, you're not actually 107 years old? :-) Kitty is OK today, she's not eating or drinking but seems content to hang out near me, so I can live with that. Tonight I have to go to a wake and memorial service for an acquaintance whose teenage child passed away this week. And so it continues. I am a non-Catholic (my dad was an ex-Catholic, so I was raised NOT Catholic) so wakes are pretty foreign to me. However, I'm willing to be open to the experience. Maybe an evening of hymns and prayers will calm me down. I'll post a note about how it went (maybe under a less dramatic topic heading).
16 years ago 0 1890 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Katydid, I am also a Calvinist! I am guilty about getting succour from the site we're on! I feel I should be wearing a hair shirt becuase I'm depressed and not like other, laughing, people! I'm kidding. "Wander" away! Enjoy - take great joy from having a site like this... Look, love your buddy-cat right to the end and remember that you had something wonderful together through those many years. The cat has been much loved being with you, right? And you loved your cat, right? S/he's had a full life for a cat and he's been lucky enough to have spent it with you, a loving friend. What could be better than being with your buddy right to the end of it;s life?? I'm sorry if this sounds harsh, K, but I've had so many cats over 60 years that I have had the experience of loving them and letting them go... Look, if Cat is not in dire pain and she loves being with you and being petted by you then go the distance - but - when s/he's in pain you must remember that she's a friend and that she needs to go "home" to wherever good cats go...then you'll make the call and be with her as she journeys on... Lord God, this stirs some memories... sorry. oxo Patrick
16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks everyone for your encouragement. Today is not so bleak -- you know how these things come and go. I'm just trying to concentrate on work, and obviously not doing very well. The internet is really a blessing and a curse ... it's so easy to wander! Today my cat is just sort-of sleeping, on my desk next to my keyboard. I'm aware that soon I need to decide what to do, but today is not that day. My vet says that cats hang on for a long time, and we need to consider helping them ... which I know is true ... but I'm not ready. I decided that as long as she responds to petting, and seems to enjoy hanging out with me, we won't do anything. If she gets uncomfortable and stays that way, I'll make the call. Yuck. Hubby is going away this weekend to be with his mom, so I'll be alone for 4 days. But next weekend my mom is coming to visit, and that always helps. I'll just do extra work in the meantime to keep myself busy. Can you fill your activity sheet with just "bla"? :-)
16 years ago 0 8760 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Katydid, Welcome to the Depression Center and thanks for sharing your story with us. It's normal to be sad when someone close to us is sick or dying. Remember the five stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression and acceptance. Work through the program in preparation for this huge life changes. You may pick up some great coping strategies along the way. We also encourage you to keep close to us. We will help you anyway we can. Danielle, Bilingual Support Specialist
16 years ago 0 172 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
just going to take a look at session 3 myself. even though its really too soon sometimes i find it helpful to see the next stage
16 years ago 0 5195 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hi there! There is always a bright side, sometimes we are looking too hard to find it. I don't have answers as I am having a really difficult time myself. All I can say is don't give up and you are not alone. I often feel the way you described and I don't even have any death going on. All of that grief would depress anyone. I'm working the program and encourage you to do the same. I didn't really become encouraged by it until I got to session 3 so stick it out and work through it. I'm sure it will help. Meanwhile, post and let's see if maybe we can't help eachother.
16 years ago 0 1890 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Katydid, Welcome. Thanks for the post. You are going through a really bad life experience with family dying on you - leaving you 'alone' so to speak. It will pass. The massive depression all that brings to you will pass also. It broke my heart that I had to destroy my 12 yr old Himalayan when he was in death throes after an attack by a big dog. My sister bought me a baby female Himalayan that I called Lola very soon after. I love that cat and can't wait to see her when I get back to Canada. She's a cat that sleeps on the crown of my head on the pillow!! Talk about best buddy!? For us humans we never know the day nor the hour. Spend as much loving time with the MIL as you can afford. She will need your palliative love and caring. Hang tight and keep talking to us. Try the IM when you log in... oxo
16 years ago 0 101 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I, too, work from home. It can be very isolating, but it sure beats the corporate world. I am fortunate, however, that I also get to interact with people about every couple of weeks by doing training and on site work. doesn't matter that she is you new MIL, she still is someone who is dying and you feel it. It is all the little things that add up to make you depressed. Try the program. I think that it helps. I certainly am much better than when I started (although part of that is being back on meds).
16 years ago 0 4 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello all, I'm so pleased to have found this place to connect with others who "get it"! I'll keep my intro short. I'm in the throes of a new depressive episode that is triggered by a lot of death and sadness that I can't get away from. -- lost my dad just over a year ago, after 7 years of Alzheimer's (spent all of my 30's caring for him, now I'm 37 and feel like I missed a decade) -- my cat is dying, sometime within the next few days (my 16-year best friend) -- my mother in law is dying of brain cancer. I'm completely serious. She's not expected to last out the year. -- my new husband of 9 months (what was that about for better or for worse? did I misspell the "for better" part? isn't it supposed to be at least 50/50???) totally doesn't understand why I'm so depressed, since it's his mother who's terminally ill (and I understand this, but I feel I could use a little more support) -- We recently moved to a new town where I don't know anyone AND I work from home, ALONE. Yikes! What a sob story. Sorry to be glib but I can barely stand to look at it. But there it is, my life. I try REALLY HARD to see the bright side but I'm beginning to be convinced that there isn't one. Not much evidence to support it. Still, I'm willing to try, so here goes to week 1. :-} (weak smile)

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