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Posts created by Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Role transition

Samantha.

I don't know where to put this so i'll just reply here because I want to get this in while it is happening. God that sounds terrible. I am having a full blown Panic attack. "I don't get these any more" It is self induced by taking a medication I guess I'm alergic to. (antibiotic) Any way here I am with my heart pounding, sweating and so much confusion I can hardly type. Oh and the terror is there in the back ground. But I'm smiling. The only thing bothering me is that i've spoiled my "no more panic attacks" record. Pulse is already back to normal. I'm still confused, I think if I was driving I'd have to pull over and watch the traffic for a while. My chest is sore from the tension. If it wasn't for that I would

wonder if it really happened. I always wondered what would happen if I had a relapse. Now you, I, and every one else knows! This is so funny, I'm still shaky and can hardly type. If I smile any harder I'll hurt my face. GONE. I wish I could have got this in sooner, but I had to wake up the computer and then I couldn't do something as simple as log in. Oh well I probably couldn't have typed any way. I hope some one got something out of this. I know I did. I'm going back to sleep. I see by the clock that a half hour has gone by since it woke me so I've gone through the Time Warp also. I don't think any one has mentioned that. I used to lose sense of time. An hour would feel like minutes. So here I am back to normal and If I hadn't wrote this I wouldn't believe in the morning that it happened. I still might not. One last thing before I go. I did not use any meds or any thing else to get rid of it, IT JUST WENT. Isn't that wonderful! For all those new people that don't know me. I used to have attacks so bad every night that I wanted to die and was afraid to sleep. I would have attacks thinking about having attacks.

Peace everyone.

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Role transition

Hello Ashley, Hello Texan, Hello Every body.

How did it feel!! Well it felt teriffic and still does. I will admit that it kept cropping up but couldn't get in. And if this is the worst it gets so be it but I feel that since it no longer has power over me that it will just fade away for good. I had to read it again this morning because it was gone. I had to make sure it really happened. Right now I'm trying to do something frustrating and I'm hungry and my cat is trying to walk on the key board. Little things but they used to set me off. Any sort of mental struggle would do it. I may not be able to do what I'm trying and I should eat, but at least I'm not spiralling into panic over it. I can still function and I can still smile. I know that during the worst, I would have given almost anything to get this well and so must a lot of people. I could be happy with this well, but I really think that now it will get better even, I think that it will just fade away. And if it doesn't I'll just tell it to go away like my annoying cat.

I was a basket case and now I'm fine, If I can do it so can anyone. For the person that asked once, "does any one ever feel normal again" I have to say this feels better than normal.

Peace everyone.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Is Mismanagement of Stress Contagious?

Hi Texan.

Hell yes, My brother does that to me all the time. He phones me up to vent his stress. I don't know what you will do about your boss, but I just tune out my brother. Is your job secure enough to do that? My last job had a control freak for a boss. I wonder now if he was a contributing factor. Come to think of it Ive had more than one of these A!@#$%^&*s. You have a really good point here. Let us know how you deal with it.

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Role transition

Hi. Ashley

I must have been hopping a bit, I usually don't make spelling mistakes. I would or will do any thing if it will help others to achieve what I have, just tell me what to do, but please keep it in plain language. (I've had this computer only half a year and although I'm pretty good, I'm a fast learner, I'm still learning language).

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

More exposure

Hi Lance

I think the escalator thing is motion. Your mind will try to block out everything when you are bordering on panic. Eg. the lack of focus. So part of you knows you are moving but your mind won't let it through. This happens with people in traffic. They know there are other vehicles out there but they get tunnel vision. The only cure is exposure. (study the part of the program covering this. The escalater will be easier than driving. Riding the LRT takes the control out of your hands and there is lots of things to focus on.Eg. do you have more trouble when it's empty? What I would do with the escalator is ride it up and focus on how it works, check out every movment it makes like you are really interested in it, Don't let your mind block it out. Make it a game. Say well that was fun when you get to the top. Remenber no one is interested in you so you can do this as many times as it takes. Remember exposure. You have to conquer it and then it will just fade away. And remember you can always take the stairs down if you have to. Oh by the way, the bus is probably motion also. It would be for me, I know. If you look around, the people staring out the window or at the floor are probably having as much trouble as you. I'm concerned about your lack of focus, you don't mention medication, If your on it, I'm not saying quit, just understand that it can be part of the problem and you will just have to try harder. You do want to get better don't you? I'm a success but it didn't happen overnight, there were lots of set backs but I won. "I WON, I WON" and so can you!

Good luck, keep posting.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Role transition

Hi Josie.

I'm not sure I can answer your questions but I'll try. How did I get to this point? Well it took a lot of time and a lot of determination. The panic attacks were so horendous I wanted to just die. Literally. I actually went to a Drug and alcohol counceler to get help getting off Ativan, and she has been a God Sent. Ativan was a big factor in my panic attacks which is why I recomend people use something else if they are going to use something long time.

If you use Ativan short term it's Ok. But long term It will actually make your panic worse. ( her words ). I switched to Valium, same class drug but with a longer half life and easier to quit. Buspar is a different class but does the same thing and it's safer. (not my words but the doctors) The Anti Deppresant I used was Celexa, but it does little for panic. This class of drug can cause aggitation in selected persons and I am one of them. I worked hard to get off these things and just use Herbals and with the help of my doctor I found one to replace Ativan that didn't have the side effects of ativan. But you see I still had to have something to carry me through the bad times and I had to have a lot of faith that I could do this. I was my own worst enemy.

I had negative and impaired thoughts and was at one point suicidal. The counceler got me through this stage by showing me that I was improving a little even though I couldn't see it. She also countered My negative thinking with possitive. I could go to see here in such a mess I could barely walk and after an hour I could walk out and go shopping and go to the Library. So since it was once a week I'd scedule Most of my shopping for that day. Then I started to push the boundaries, knowing I had a safe day if I couldn't, till I got to the point I didn't need the safe day. So get a good Therapist. Oh by the way you can't fix it till you admit it needs to be fixed. If you think this shouldn't happen to you cause your not crazy and there's no crazys in your familly then you won't get better.

First off you are not crazy. But you do have a problem and you have to face it and accept that it's there. That was hard. I kept saying I was never like this, and I wasn't but I was now! It's like a drunk saying "I'm not a drunk". Yes you are. So now you know you have a problem and you have admitted to yourself you have a problem. Now it's time to fix it.

Are these coping mechanisms? I quess they are. So now you have some ways to cope, (including hiding when you have to) and some medication to control the Panic. Good!! now you can survive. But is this life? No? of course not. Now comes the hard part. Now comes the time consuming part. Now comes pain heart ache tears and dissapointment. And there will be lots of that, but if you stick with it you will win. I DID I WON! I leave it to the program here to do the rest for you and it will.

Don't skip, don't run ahead. Slow and steady. Above all else don't fight it. you can't force it. You want to be able to be able to look it in the face and laugh. You don't want to go around with your fists clenched always waiting for it to attack. It may never Disapear totally, but I can guaranty that after you get to the point when you can accept it's happening and laugh then one day you will discover that it has just faded away. If it comes back again during times of high stress or trauma (which is natural) you will have the skill to cope and it will have no control over you. Remember if you can handle it then there is nothing to handle. ( my quote for the day.) Did I use part of the program? Well I guess since I was pretty much doing all it says even before I found this site. I would say. YES I WAS.

There are no short cuts,unless you want to be a potato. Follow the program, learn to beat it not just live with it. Now just a few last minute comments. I know I'm getting older and life is getting harder but I now have the skill to handle it.

I know I can post here if I have to and talking about it helps as you can see by my and other peoples posts. If I get another panic attack I won't be surprised after all the first one came with no warning, but now I can control it not it me. That is a really good feeling. A really really good feeling. Don't ever think of yourself as a freek, if you knew how many people are suffering just like you, you would cry. Finally. Please forgive any spelling and gramar mistakes I made, it's been a long day. (11:30 P.M. my time)

Peace every one.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Role transition

Hello Texan.

I can't see why it shouldn't happen. What I see in your posts is a person determined to beat this thing, a person who won't let the setbacks win. It might not happen tomorrow, but it will happen. I want this thing to snow ball. I want every body to be a success storey. And there is no reason why we can't. Every ones success storey might not be like mine. For some just functioning, just getting through the week is a success storey. I was going to leave this site, but I think I'll stick around to remind people to work at this, after all that's all it takes. And every body out there Talk about it, here preferably but any where will do. Talking about it makes it real. and if it's real it can be dealt with. And like Josie said we are all here to help each other.

Peace and perceverence.

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Bad drive

Lance.

It wasn't the coffee after all it was so far away the caffene would have wore off. It was the thought that it was the coffee, which is worse. I used to do that always I'd have an apointment and as I was getting ready for it I would think about all the things I did wrong that were going to mess it up. As I went out the door I'd be saying I wish I hadn't had that cup of tea. In stead I should have been saying OK, I MESSED UP, lets see if I can handle it. Turn it into planned exposure. You be the boss, not it. Read what Josie said. it works, it really does. Don't give up, I want you on the list of successes along side me.

Davit

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

Going it alone- drug free, anyone else attempting this?

Hi AlterEgo.

If you have already done withdrawl from Diazapan then you will be the best judge of how fast to withdraw from the Mirtazipine, No argument there and I am very pleased to see you don't want to use drugs as a crutch. BUT. You don't have to go total drug free there are other safer drugs that do the same thing. Look up Buspar. It is a good transition drug to use while you withdraw from the Mirtazipine and I found it easy to stop, with no side effects. A lot of people find it easier to cure the Panic/anxiety with a little help, and then taper off the drugs. But it does amount to doing the program twice. There are some herbal remedies but most aren't strong enough to replace the Pharmacuticals, except for one. For me Lemon Balm tea was equivalent to one mg of Ativan. It takes about 15 minutes to work so during a panic attack you need some one to talk to till it does. In my area, my phone is always open to any one who needs to talk and right now I have one person regular. By now you are probably thinking "who is this person" Well I'm a success story. I've been through the war and I've got the scars to prove it. If you follow the program and have patience it will work. And don't be afraid to ask questions here. Our advice may not always work for you. But just knowing your not alone is a big help. Also if you tell others what works for you, you may be helping others. Even if what works for you seems silly, I for one want to know it. Knowledge is power.

Peace

Davit.

14 years ago 0 +0 / -0 6252

beta-blockers?

Dan.

Didn't your doctor explain how the beta blocker works. It reduces your pulse and is especially helpful in a panic attack as long as you don't start worrying that it's too low now. The other thing it does is restrict your hearts abillity to speed up when it needs to so you may find yourself tired and having trouble working. If you don't have a monitor, I hope you know how to take your pulse. At your age and without a heart condition you could get your pulse to low. Is this drug safe? Yes. I use atenolol and it works in about 5 to 10 minutes. Try to focus on the possitive aspect and this can be a very helpfull drug. And remember when you are looking at the side effects of any drug that most are very rare.

Let us know how it works for you. Others may not know that this drug is used for panic and may want to try it.

Davit

P.S. Remember this is only information none of us that are not doctors can recomend you take any drug.

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