This week’ challenge we will continue talking about stress management…

Earlier this week we talked about common ways in which we can reduce our stress. Today we will be exploring how our belief system intertwines with our stress levels.
A lot of stress results from our beliefs. We have literally thousands of ideas and assumptions about all kinds of topics & issues that we hold to be the truth. We have beliefs about things, people and ourselves (E.g.: Children should be seen and not heard, she’s too old to be wearing a short skirt, I’m so dumb... ) Most of these beliefs are held unconsciously.

These beliefs can cause stress in two ways:
 
1. The first is the behavior they cause.
For example, if you believe that work should come before pleasure, you are likely to work hard and schedule less time to yourself.  If you believe in “work hard, play hard” you are likely to be balanced.  

If you believe my husband/children/parent/patients/students /work/dog … come first, who’s taking care of you? These type of people tend to get overloaded and burnout.  Solution? Make an effort to learn the skill you are missing. In this case, one of the skills to focus on would be to learn how to delegate.

2. The second way beliefs cause stress is when they are in conflict with those of other people. If we can realize that our varying opinions reflect our upbringing and subsequently neither is right or wrong, our anger will often times diminish.

For ex: Your daughter battles you every morning because she wants to wear her dress to school in the middle of winter.  This morning power struggle stresses you as a parent and stresses your child.  Really, what is the core issue here? You were taught you do not wear dresses when it is cold out. Your three year old may be under the assumption she can wear a dress on any occasion and may not understand the sudden restrictions.

You have three options
1. Keep fighting (neither your way nor her way)
2. Put thick tights on your child (her way but you know she won’t be cold)
3. Let her go bare legs (her way but she’ll likely have a change of opinion having learned the natural consequence of wearing a dress in winter time.)

Last week, we asked you to keep track of your stressful events. How many of them were rooted in your beliefs? What beliefs were they? Are those beliefs the absolute truth?