Know the feeling and I have "some" space!

So I'm on an unusually empty train home last night after an hour at the gym. Everyone has a seat, aside from two guys and a woman (that'd be me) who likely chose to stand. For space. Elbow room. I'm in London, London is a crowded cess pool and space is at a premium. But space = comfort, so it costs. A LOT. The train suddenly dies in the tunnel. An announcement, the power's cut out, problem with the train, yadda yadda. We do the stop/start thing for another ten minutes, trudging down the track to go out of service on an already crowded platform and I'm evacuated into a very uncomfortable situation, polar opposite to the quasi-paradise I was in just minutes earlier. The guy over there is in the midst of a mob with a Marlboro hanging from his lip. Ah. He's switched off the discomfort by touching fire to disease. He's slouching, he's got some room. He's killing himself. But he's comfortable. The gal to his left, engulfed in his blue cloud, chomping on a chocolate bar. She's above the national average I'm sure, as far as weight is concerned. Should really lay off the chocs. And the cheeseburgers, chips and cookies. But it tastes good, she's not thinking about the mob. She tips the scales over much farther and she's looking in the eye of the Reaper years before she should. But she's comfortable. I look around and count about 6 more. Smoking, eating. Self-medicating. All I can smell is cigarette smoke. The next train is ten minutes out. I should get out of here, take the bus, walk home, anything. But I'm only one stop away. I don't smoke anymore, I'm not eating anything, I want to get home quickly - I want to be comfortable. This gets me thinking about what it costs on this planet to feel comfort. Thinking about the fact that money spent on a two bedroom flat in this city would buy me a few acres in the suburbs near my last US location. About how the only place I can find any personal space at present is in a park, which is full of other people desperate for the same thing. The house I live in belongs to my in-laws, the house I live in has a revolving door. Their guests = my guests. I don't like company this often. Please go now. I want to be comfortable, not keep my hair tied back and my bra on because I'm expect

Thanks for the comments, gang. Imallclear, I busted a gut reading your post. So here I sit, defying gravity, elbows stuck out doing the funky chicken and ready for the morning commute. Look out world, here I com(e)fort! ;p [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 58 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,350 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �319 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 4 [B]Hrs:[/B] 22 [B]Mins:[/B] 35 [B]Seconds:[/B] 24

Interesting, I'm laughing again at the thought of using the gas problem in such a creative way...hmm I never thought of that, break out the beans! Windy I envy you and your space, my word how I miss it. Can you tell?!? ;) Funny you should mention the smoke breaks during gatherings. The last big gathering here found me outside, upwind, chit chatting with the two smokers left in the bunch, just to get out of the house! I had a swarm of teenagers in a Playstation competition in our sitting room, no place to sit, no air, no calm...just remembering it makes me nudgy. Luckily, I don't feel any yearning whatsoever being around someone smoking, so I can still have my outside time, even have the odd coffee outdoors during work on my old break times. The more I filter this through my mind, I realise that if I got rid of the 'me time', got rid of the space-when-I-can-get-it, denied myself my own key comfort aspect of the smoking ritual (just switching off for a little while or removing myself from a situation) I would never feel right again, and always wonder if leaving cigarettes out of my life meant I was leaving myself behind. Although the cost of comfort now for me is the risk of temptation, I seem to be preventing it by embracing the healthy part of the ritual I used to keep - this little gem is all about me, it's indulgent, it's fantastic and I'll never let that go. The gym (a perk at work), long walks to the train station, these too cost nothing. Maybe the best things in life ARE free after all :) x T [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/1/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 59 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 1,376 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �324.5 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 51 [B]Seconds:[/B] 55

First of all, Todash... you write really well. I love reading your posts. I felt like I was on the train with you! I wonder if my imagined peopled looked like the people you saw. You are so right about the comfort thing. I don't miss smoking, but I miss the comfort, or I called it the fix from whatever I never knew, but I knew it was a fix of something. I like the term comfort better. It better describes what smoking was. Personal space.. YES, that is very important. It also makes sense that when we smoked, we claimed our space... in fact we drove others away with the cloud, but it gave us personal space. Good point. Now that I think of it, we could use our gas problems to our benefit and gain some personal space that way! Great post... and something to keep my ponderer busy for awhile. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/31/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 60 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 904 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $115.8 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 7 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 4 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38

Totally cool post. Lots to think about. One thought is the feeling of repression. Smoking allows us to keep that feeling at bay. I encourage you to go completely bra-less all the time. (unless you want to t/a gravity- that's another story and obviously something you're not worried about yet if you walk around like that at all - neither was I for a long time). Anyway. I want to t/a finding our voice after we ditch the smokes and standing up for ourselves. I hereby give you permission to tell potential guests that they can't come all the time or else the terms of their stay need to be changed. I used to run around like crazy getting ready for guests. Now, I just leave the key. I recently saw someone say that he doesn't save the pictures from christmas cards of his friends children. He just gives an "OOOOO" and tosses it in the trash b/c space is a premium in New York City. That tells me that he has actively defined how he will use his space. This takes us back to repression - taking on the definitions and expectations of others vs. taking back - in your situation - space and control and comfort. You are right, cigarettes did produce a smoke screen to protect personal space - stick your elbows out. [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 12/29/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 61 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 617 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $305 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 5 [B]Hrs:[/B] 20 [B]Mins:[/B] 28 [B]Seconds:[/B] 38

Great post Todash - I live in Canada so (lucky for me) space is not a big issue....but you made me think of family gatherings. My hubby and I both come from big families and so we have "big" gettogethers. Even though they are fun, I used to enjoy my "smoke breaks". I think I need to remember to give myself a break from all of that. I still need to "self-medicate" but the way I do that has changed. When I feel sad, depressed or anxious, I feel the "need" to go to the gym which helps improve my mood. I go to bed earlier and relax in front of the t.v. set. I don't think that it's so bad that we need ways to comfort ourselves during stressful times...the challenge is finding healthy ways to do it. Windy [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 9/11/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 171 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 3,434 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $855 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 16 [B]Hrs:[/B] 17 [B]Mins:[/B] 25 [B]Seconds:[/B] 52

Interesting skedaddling thoughts going on in your noggin. Makes you really think about the price people will pay for the sake of comfort. Very thought provoking. Thanks for sharing.

todash... thought I was the only one who felt this way about London. nevertheless - keep on keeping on - Mr Ed :) :) [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 2/13/2006 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 380 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 11,419 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] �2850 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 62 [B]Hrs:[/B] 0 [B]Mins:[/B] 49 [B]Seconds:[/B] 18

I can't imagine that cramped life feeling they way we all have....thank goodness for recliners! [B]My Milage:[/B] [B]My Quit Date: [/B] 1/25/2007 [B]Smoke-Free Days:[/B] 34 [B]Cigarettes Not Smoked:[/B] 693 [B]Amount Saved:[/B] $140.08 [B]Life Gained:[/B] [B]Days:[/B] 3 [B]Hrs:[/B] 11 [B]Mins:[/B] 8 [B]Seconds:[/B] 32