Lance, I don't know why things happen as they do. I wish I had the old me back too. I don't....I have the new me, the depressed me, the one who has to struggle to make it on a daily basis and some days squeek by and some days fly by. I remember when every day squeeked by after the depression hit. I wish I had the old me back.
You have to relearn how to enjoy things, relearn new things to enjoy, relearn how to live life and know that not all things that are gone are gone forever. We do get things back (I KNOW THIS IS HARD TO SEE). We do get things back we lost when we hit bottom. We do, I know it, I've lived it and I continue to live it.
Take it one day at a time Lance.
I want what I want and I want it now. That is what I expected when I finally crawled out of bed - to be fixed NOW, I wanted all the answers NOW, I worked through the program or the first few sessions in double time because I wanted it NOW. NOW I know that I have to do what I can do for today. Celebrate what I did today. Be grateful for the tinyest of things today. And work this program in my time to get the most from it.
I read a statistic - maybe on here - that CBT and IPT are the two most successful treatments for Depression and BiPolar Disorder. I didn't know that when I started this program but I can attest to the results though I wasn't part of the study.
Lance you are getting some great feedback from some great people. I hope you listen, read, reread and take the time to digest what you information you are getting. The I want it NOW's; not the answer. It is unrealistic, not feasible, not practical and won't happen. It's a day to day thing and you are doing it. Set you sights on some realistic goals based on what you can do today. And I see that you can do alot. You are getting out of bed, you are communicating with your daughter, you are taking your meds, going to your doctor, you are coming here, posting, venting, seeking help and these are all GREAT things. Keep up the good work and add a small thing each day.