Lance, I remember the person that I once was. The woman who worked full-time, worked on her doctoral degree, drove 12 hours to and from school per week, took care of a household independently, raised a son and put him through law school.had many friends, involved in many civic activites, volunteered and taught swim lessons for over 20 years....you get the idea - part of your list you've written below.
I grieve that part of me, just like it has died. We can NOT focus on who we were. That does not help. We are not there now - we are here and we have to deal with the issues life gives us today. We cannot go back, we cannot take back, we can not live in the past, we cannot kick our selves in the butt for things we did in the past. We have to move forward and be grateful for what we have today and set goals for tomorrow. You can do it.
Let's look forward not backwards. Set realistic goals and not close the door on anything we want to attain in the future.
I am grateful that we have something we can live with and not something that is terminal illness (like cancer). I can do this - you can do this. Keep posting Lance and keep looking forward.
By setting small goals and reaching them, you can progress to bigger exposure and move forward. Do talk to your doctor and pharmacist to help you manage your medications and work with you. Plan to see a therapist to assist you with your emotions and thoughts.
Make it work for you and do what's best for you and your body. We know this isn't easy, but you have to take the first step.
Lance: We have all been there where you are right now and many of us revisit that place, too. Just know that it will eventually get better. Continue to come here and post. I hope you're following the program. It really helps and gives you a feeling of being somewhat in control. Take care.
Just plain being depressed, the hopeless, tired, fear all the things that go with it are so old. Why cant I just be right again. For years I was superman. At work, with family. Now I am hating it. I just want a life again.
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