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11 years and counting

Timbo637

2024-10-31 6:49 AM

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Feels like hell week all over!!

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2024-10-30 9:38 AM

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Roller Coaster Withdrawal

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2024-10-14 12:28 PM

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Smile....and don't shoot the messenger

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2024-09-27 3:17 PM

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Setbacks are discouraging


15 years ago 0 199 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rebbie,
 
I am so glad to hear that you are feeling better.  It makes me feel good also knowing I may have been able to help you in some way.   It is nice that we are all getting to know it other and can support each other on this forum.
 
Keep up the good fight,
 
Sid  
15 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rebbie,
 
That is the amazing thing about this site, you never have to feel silly or embarrassed by the posts you make.The down times can be challenging and sometimes getting through the downs requires a release of emotions. If you achieve this by writing it down in a post, than that is great! Keep posting, and sharing with us, we appreciate it!
 
 

Samantha, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks for all of your support.   Since I had what I thought was a major setback, I guess I was just having a pity party.   I really don't like me when I do that.   Your words of encouragement really do a lot to pick me up.    
 
Sid, thanks for the book tip.   I will have to check into it.   I do spend lots of time at Barnes & Noble.   And Goofy, thanks again.   Your words really did hit home with me.     Samantha, thanks for your words of support.   Re-reading what I wrote about my posts getting lost, I feel a little silly.
 
This is a great place to come to and I like that I'm getting to "know" some of you.
 
Rebbie
 
 
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rebbie,
Knock me over with a feather.  I said something insightful about a relationship issue.  I am soooo glad you could find something I said useful besides the fact that I am here and listening. 
I'm also glad that you are seemingly feeling a bit better.
Please keep us posted.  I'll be looking for them.
 
 
15 years ago 0 2606 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rebbie,
 
Sorry to hear that you had a set-back. You are dealing with some challenging situations and will get through this one day at a time. I apologize that you haven't received any responses, I'm not sure how or why they would have gotten overlooked! Regardless, always remember that we are here to support you and listen to what you are going through.
 
 
Samantha, Health Educator
15 years ago 0 199 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Hello Rebbie
 
I was reading your post this morning and I am sorry you are having a hard time of it.  I am sorry you feel your posts have been over looked and that your hand was not taken on Thanksgiving.  I just think that people just get so wrapped up in their own depression and grief sometimes that they can't focus on  anyone or anything else me included. I want to thank you for taking my hand on Thanksgiving it really meant a lot to me that someone cared.   As for your ex and your girlfriends telling you that the saw him in your neighborhood, well I think you were right in telling them to stop talking about him to you. You said that you don't want him back in your life so quit beating yourself up over him and thank your lucky stars that he has found someone else to cheat on lie to and make miserable.  Their is a book I read called Boundaries by Dr. Henry Cloud  and Dr. John Townsend it teaches your how to set boundaries in you life with people and take back control of your life and how to feel confident in telling people no and so on.  This book helped me a great deal and helped me to make some tough decisions regarding the people in my life.  You make want to take a look at it at the book store and see if you think it could help you in your situation.    Anyway hang in their and if I am on line know that I am reading your posts and do care even I am not able to respond.     
Hang in there
Sid
15 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Thanks, Goofy.   I've read through the second paragraph of your post three times already.   For reasons well known to us who suffer from depression, I've felt like I failed at my marriage and proof of that is he appears to be happy with this new girlfriend.   You're right to say that this new person I saw a month ago isn't the real man I was with for 25+ years.  He and this woman are currently enjoying the honeymoon period of this relationship and it's not going to last.   I do need to keep telling myself that so I don't feel that I failed. 
 
Thanks again for responding.   You did write what I needed to hear and I appreciate it.
 
 
15 years ago 0 1044 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
Rebbie, I am sorry that your post got skipped over.  I will assure that it was not intentional by me or anyone else. 
I did read your post about the hard time you have had with your relationship and your recent hopitalization.  I am sure this information you got to day is unsettling. 
I wrote this long post to you just now and then went back and deleted it.  I am not very good at relationships myself.  I don't know that I have any advice for you or consolation. 
I do know that you are a strong woman in resolve to not allow this man to continue to treat you as he did in the past.  I see a woman who is working very hard to move on with her life.  I don't think it is unfair for you to ask your girlfriends to refrain from speaking of him in your presence (what you don't know, won't hurt you).  I know you married him, had children by him and at some point saw something in him you loved, but the way he treated you is not indicative of a genuine great guy and you didn't make him treat you that way, nor are you allowing him to treat you that way.  You know the man, she doesn't, so you know what you see is not real and won't last.   
I hope that helped some - I usually skip over relationship issues - since I've not had much success.  I apologize, I could have at least said, I hear you, I'm listening, someone is here. 
I think there is alot of hand extending going on in these posts; I've seen them in a couple of places.  I don't know where yours was and/or where mine was but I'll take your hand from Thanksgiving and extend it forward from today until tomorrow.  I get to celebrate Thanksgiving tomorrow (saturday).
I can relate totally to the struggle to get out of the hole only to fall back again.  I think if you'll look you will see we are learning and not falling as far back as we once were even if they are only small changes; we are getting better. 
Hang in there Rebbie, know that I am here.  Hang in there and keep us posted.
 
 
15 years ago 0 121 logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo logo 0
I had another set back this afternoon and I'm having a pity party tonight.   When I get any news that my ex-H is happy and getting on with his life it just knocks me back a few yards.    This afternoon while chatting with a few girls friends, one of them mentioned that she had seen my ex-H in the neighborhood where we still own our house (he has sabotaged every attempt to sell it) walking with his new girlfriend.   I actually felt a pain in my chest while she was talking about this and I could barely speak.    I don't know if anyone read my recent post describing my marriage and depression, but a recent encounter with him, his lying and manipulation, landed me in a hospital/health services facility for a week.   I know that I saw a change in this man when he came around a month ago talking about a possible reconciliation.  But, it turned out to be yet another game he felt he needed to play with me.   I had such resolve when I left the hospital about never seeing him again or having anything to do with him, even in regards to our two sons, but each time I hear something about him, I envision him in his new life, being happier with someone else and not me and I just sink into this dark, sad place.   I don't want him back because I couldn't stand the lying, cheating and abuse, but he seems like a genuine great guy with this new woman and I berate myself for not being able to bring that out in him.    I want to move on with my life, too, and I don't understand why I won't let myself.   
 
I also have to post here that I've been disappointed that I haven't gotten responses to any of my posts.   Another shot to my already low self-esteem.    I even held out my hand to someone on Thanksgiving on this forum and was skipped over.  I feel so darned pitful.    I want to go to sleep and wake up in a few years......   I'm really getting tired of struggling with this depression only to fall back into the hole again. 

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