Ashley, I have no idea when I plan to go, but rest assured that all that pampering that I would be getting would definitely be a great thing. A nice hot bath, a swedish massage, et al. Hey, don't we all deserve to be pampered like that. I was looking at the calendar. With the holidays, it's definitely after the first of the year.
I also took a part-time job back at the A/D treatment center where I was working. They called and ask me Ashley - that was an ego boost (with good timing too). I am still going to landscape as I think that is healthy for me, the manual labor, being outside, working with the lady I work with, but as winter approaches that work will dwindle. The job at the Tx Center is me being on-call; teaching some classes; working with long-term tx program; and working with family education. I will also fill in when people take vacations. I can decline to work any time I'm called and they understnad I won't quit my "day job". I also see my therapist there so my therapy will be free again. I also told them I wouldn't work more than 20 hours per week, I don't want to work full-time there anymore. Oh, the lady that was the bully at the tx center that I didn't want to work with and the reason I resigned, well, uh, she "resigned".
The point of all that was to say I don't know how that will impact on when I go. I'd like my new male friend to go with me, but we shall see if he can arrange that with his work schedule. He said something about going to Rio De Janerio (sp?) and I'll do that!!!!!! I've been saving my money for a vacation and can afford either, but not both!
I'm still trying to work to get this house so that it isn't so depressing. I isolate and isolating here only exacerbates the depression. I've called someone about painting and replacing a window is gonna happen soon (already paid for it) and a freind is going to help with the flooring. Right now there are only a few people who I will allow to see the house this way.
I am trying to get back on track, stay active and out of the bed. I also work very hard to maintain my positive attitude though things may be coming apart inside. My therapist and I are working on that. He thinks I need to feel things as they occur and that I don't allow myself to feel legitimate anger. I have to agree with him on that. It's just when emotions surface I tend to feel them over and over and don't know what to do with them. I don't know if that makes sense or not.
I've got alot of positives going on in my life if beneath the surface didn't lie this depression.
Thanks for listening and all your positive and encouraging feedback - it keeps me going and just coming here is very beneficial to me.