Hi Eddiewolf,
hey, thank you for sharing your story. You certainly seem to have a lot of plates in the air. If you are anything like me, all the individual issues soon become one large blob and seems impossible to break down.
Im wondering if we are both currently sharing that state. I I’ll be following your journey and promise to share mine. Perhaps between the two of us a way of figuring this out, even in the smallest of ways, will transpire
keep being honest with yourself
Hi EddieWolf
Thank you for sharing what you have been going through. It sounds like you have a lot on your plate. For many people just working and childcare is enough to feel overwhelmed. You are also managing volunteering, social time and regular family visits. Not to mention managing the bulk of the family responsibilities. How do you take time just for you?
It also seems like you have a lot of unresolved issues with your husband. It sounds like you try to resolve things but you are met with block aids. It is very difficult for a relationship to work if one or both are struggling with addiction. Has he ever voiced interest in seeking out help regarding his addiction? You mentioned he has made you bend to accept his addiction; that doesn't seem to be working for you now. What are you no l longer able to accept?
Ashley
Hi EddieWolf,
It's great that you are so open and introduce yourself!
Just to put things into perspective, I am not feeling so confident to speak about so many things you did. So please take this as a compliment..(!)
I was reading your post, and thinking: "wow... you have so much on your shoulder... how do you manage all that..?"
If somebody asked you, what concerns you most, what would come into your mind first?
Is it the sum of all responsibility that you carry? Or would it be rather something else..? Maybe the world you describe around you, that just didn't seem to fit at the moment?
It sounds like you have many things on your mind, and you seem to be a very strucured thinker. So I am just wondering if there is any priority or range of concerns that are on your mind. So that they can be taken care of in an order that is appropriate for you.
..what do you think?
Wishing you much success with the program anyway!
Let me introduce myself.
I have an amazingly supportive family and circle of friends. I have a wonderful husband and a beautiful son and we have a family dog. I've been back to work after mat leave for a year now so I'm starting to get back on track in terms of career and have even signed up for some volunteering. My husband and I are connecting better than ever, we're consistently seeing my mom one weekend night a week, I'm consistently seeing friends.
But here's the thing, it feels all wrong. In thoery I have everything I've ever wanted or thought would make me happy and I'm miserable. Maybe it's because I have more people counting on me than ever before, or because I can't just go to bed for a few days and ride these feelings out, or maybe what I think is amazing and perfect is really just a lie.
I love my husband like no one else but occassionally and often right now, I think about leaving him. I think about this for many reasons:
And yet, neither of us want to live without each other and we do have some really great times together. He makes me feel safe, he comforts me during my off periods, he's a wonderful father, and he tries really hard.
Right now I'm trying to deal with the overburden of financial stress, we are over spending monthly and when I try to discuss this with him he tells me I'm attacking him or cutting him down.
I'm also dealing with taking on a number of things that I want to do but maybe don't really have the bandwidth for.
