I am sorry to read about your health issues and how you have been feeling. It sounds like you have had to grieve a lot of losses - it is understandable that this caused depressed feelings. Sometimes the grieving process is a continual process when it comes to disability and chronic health issues. Allow yourself to feel sad when you need to. You have every right to be angry, depressed, frustrated, etc. The program will help arm you with skills to cope with this. You may also want to look into mindfulness for pain management and the concept of radical acceptance. Also, have you been able to find any support groups for people with chronic pain? Sometimes talking to people who are going through the same things can be very healing and supportive.
I have been resisting introducing myself since I signed up. In all areas of my life, I want to be invisible, un-noticed, anonymous. I know that if I truly want to get better, I need to make changes in the ways that I think and act, so I guess introducing myself in this forum is the first step. It's a way to assert my commitment to this program.
I have suffered (and been treated for) depression and anxiety for many years. I am a middle-aged woman with a supportive husband and family. I put a lot of effort into having a healthy lifestyle (exercise, nutrition, sleep) and feel as though I'm doing the right things for my mental health. However I have congenital issues with my spine and I find that the physical limitations and chronic pain affect my moods in ways that I haven't yet been able to control. After years of a very fulfilling career that I loved, I am now unable to work. This has led to isolation and a sense of being powerless inside my own body. I feel that I have already been forced to give up so much in life because of my health: being unable to have children, being unable to participate in certain physical activities, etc. Loss of my independence and ability to work, combined with a dramatic increase in pain, has brought me to a breaking point. I just finished a block of counselling sessions and was on my employee assistance program's website to sign up for more when I saw the link for The Depression Center. I thought I would give this a try and see where it takes me...
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