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Hoping this system will help me to start getting better

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 27

Hi, Shell. I was just going through the "introduce yourself" forum and saw your post from last month. I am sorry that you feel so lonely. I have been there myself. I've always had a hard time making friends - especially female friends for some reason - and not having someone to talk to or take a walk with or meet for a cup of coffee is definitely not the most comforting way to live life. When you mentioned that you have dogs, that caught my attention. Pets can be such great companions. When I get overwhelmed I take my dog outside and throw the ball to her. All she needs from me is attention and she's happy. When I take her for a walk, I notice how she's just happy to be outside, to be with me, to smell new smells. She honestly makes me appreciate the little things in life sometimes. Yes, as a bonus it's technically exercise, but it's also something to do, something active, something that gets your brain moving along with your body. Taking my dog to a park or a nature trail where I might run into other people who like dogs can break that feeling of isolation for me, too. Just saying hello to someone or asking them about their dog can begin to get me in contact with the outside world again.

Do you had any hobbies or interests that you used to enjoy? I have always loved photography, and when I am at a bad place with my depression there have been times when I have literally had to force myself to step outside with my camera, set a timer for five minutes, and take a few photos. Just five minutes can be excruciating sometimes. But when I did that for a few days and got a couple of great shots, it brought a little bit of light into my life again. I hope that you can think of something to get yourself out there. Start small, like Ashley said. As far as neighbors go, this could be a good place to start, I think. Buy a few loaves of pumpkin bread, stick a holiday tag on them, and walk next door to say "happy holidays" or "seasons' greetings" or whatever is appropriate. The interaction doesn't have to last long - a moments chat about the weather or an exchange of generic pleasantries. You never know - YOU might be bringing brightness to someone else who is suffering in silence, too.

Keep checking in on this site so we all know how you are doing.

Take care,

Super Girl

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

That's so great to hear Shell! Reconnecting with friends can really give us a boost sometimes.

When it comes to being social perhaps setting small goals will help. Maybe a new goal each week. You don't have to try to change over night. Perhaps this week speak to the neighbours once. Maybe next week go out for coffee and read a book in public. Little by little you will start to feel more comfortable.

PTSD can be challenging to address alone. Have you considered treatment focused on PTSD?

How are you feeling today?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

I have been saying that to myself as well. If I could just get out and force myself to get social again, it might help make the difference. I am looking at finding some kind of activity, maybe volunteer somewhere, or even if its just getting on one of the many committee's at work. Also try and talk to the neighbours when they are outside instead of running and hiding on them as I tend to do. I am trying to walk the dogs more as well, as I understand exercise is helpful too. I am interested in the CBT therapy as from what I have been reading it is one of the best therapy's going for depression. I believe I am suffering from PTSD from something that happened about 8 years ago, and I am in the full grip of it I think. I also work in a profession that is consistent with this. But its also the profession where having any mental illness is viewed as a weakness. So here I am, alone and trying to deal with this... I hope I do hope this helps. I actually did just as you suggested today, I have reached out to an old friend that I haven't spoken to in about 3 years, and we have been texting back and forth. Thank you.

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 11226

Welcome Shell,

I am so sorry to read you are feeling this way. It sounds like you feel very alone and very depressed. I am glad you found us though. This program can teach you the basics of CBT and give you the tools you need to start working on this. In addition to this is sounds like you desperately need some more social interaction. As human beings we need regular contact with social supports. Other then posting here, what are some ways to get a bit more social activity in your life? If you are not quite ready to start meeting new people, is there anyone from your past you can work on reconnecting with?

Ashley, Health Educator

Here to help :)

8 years ago 0 +0 / -0 3

I have suffered form depression for quite a while, it has just gotten worse and worse over the years. Now I have no friends, no boyfriend, and my children are now gone to college. No one left in my life. I have managed to withdraw from everyone and every thing. I still put on the every day face and go to work, no one at work would suspect I am severely depressed. I cry when I get up to get ready for work, sometimes cry on the way to work, cry on the way home, to my empty life. I have tried pills years ago, they have too many side effects. I am looking here to find a better way to try and get better. I have been numb and have no feelings for anything or anyone for a long time. I used to be a fun, loving, funny person, people liked being around me.

I don't know what to do. I have reached out to my doctor in the past, but gotten no where. I guess I am really good at the game of pretending everything is okay, so she doesn't see what is really going on with me, and I guess I can't say how bad things are to her, or to anyone. I just feel like I am going through the motions of living. Go to work, come home, do all the things necessary to keep the home running, pay the bills, go to bed, get up next day and repeat.

I am so lonely, yet I know I couldn't offer anyone any kind of relationship right now. I have a good career, I am a good looking intelligent women. I just don't get why I have to be this way. I would really like to have someone to talk to. Please feel free to reply with anything you want to say about your own situations. I know I can't be the only one who feels this way. thank you.

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Hoping this system will help me to start getting better